A few night's ago, JD planned a fabulous date. Well, every night is date night (which is code for I Don't Want to Cook), but last Saturday was special because JD surprised me by making reservations at one of our favorite Persian restaurants. There's a band, there's dancers with abs that make me feel guilty for eating my pita and hummus, and there's an abundance of chest hair. This place is legit.

While eating dinner, we gazed at a couple seated a few tables away. The woman–with thickly lined eyes and long auburn hair–slung her right arm over the shoulders of her Stallion, and fed him with her left hand. She'd allow a few pieces of rice to dangle from her fingers and allow the Stallion to lick each one. GRAIN BY UNCOMFORTABLE GRAIN. She'd smile and gaze into his eyes, and he'd sigh with contentment.

JD and I stared at the table for a while before I addressed the obvious: Soooo. She's makin' me look bad. Should I feed you the rice with a fork or my fingers?

This week's DISSES go to:
*Miss Thick Eyeliner. She made me look bad, so here's a big diss to her! 🙂
*Swine Flu. I mean, com'on…I got word from a bride who was (emphasis on ‘was') getting married in Cancun next weekend…she's now working like a mad woman to plan a new wedding in a week. A big diss to swine and the flu!
*The newly minted Mr. and Mrs. Spencer Pratt. Ugh. Really?! I know I shouldn't care, but I do. Really?! Could there be a more obnoxious couple than Spencer and Heidi? Dubious. They are just THAT ANNOYING. Big diss to their over-publicized wedding and Spencer's flesh colored beard.

This week's KISSES go to:
*The 20 fabulous people who'll join me in June for The Workshop! I released The Workshop to my newsletter recipients before I announced it on my blog and a little over an hour later, it was SOLD OUT. Hollllla! The next crew of J* Workshop Attendees sound ultra fab and I'm stoked to meet them all in person! 🙂 The first workshop I ever went to was The Mike Colon Experience (which was awesome!) and I hope my students can walk away with half as much as I walked away having learned from Mike!
*American Airlines. I was on the phone with a rep for almost an hour trying to reschedule my flights from Cancun to the new wedding location, and not only did I NOT get charged a rebooking fee, I got a free drink voucher. I'll be flying in style with my plastic cup, thankyouverymuch.
*JD…for not making me feed him Persian rice! 🙂

Happy Friday!