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Dear Jasmine,
Thank you for pushing me, because sometimes I just don't feel like I can push myself any further. I live and breathe trying to drum up business and ideas and getting business straight and trying to do whatever I can and come home from my job as a server and throw myself on the bed in a pity party because even there I have wasted 4 hours carrying beers making jack squat. I send out inquiry after inquiry and then hear nothing back and just feel like an absolute failure sometimes and want to quit, and sometimes I just want to smack myself and say "YOU are it! YOU are enough!", but other times, it's just too much. But, I keep going, because I know that I am struggling for a reason. I am having to work hard for a dollar because I have always been terrible at managing them. This is a life lesson, and I need to work hard to really enjoy and never take the experience for granted when I do get there. But it wears on you sometimes, you know? I keep telling myself that "those who have less do more", and keep praying that sooner rather than later, it will turn out to be shiny and true.
XO,
Has Less
Dear Has Less,
There was a time before I went to law school when I worked at a BBQ restaurant to save money for my education. Every morning, I'd dress in dark denim jeans, a checkered shirt, and wear a sheriff's pin with my name emblazoned on it. Ring! Ring! Ring! went the sound of the copper bell on the indoor smoker that the grill master rang every time he opened those smoker doors. The ringing signaled something was going to change, that the restaurant was about to fill with rich, sticky smoke and make your eyes water. Sometimes I'd run into people I went to high school with and, after taking their order, I'd want to melt from humiliation of BBQ crusted fingers and watery eyes. I graduated at the top of my class, earned a full scholarship to college, and there was I slingin' a full rack of baby back ribs on a Friday night. Would you like slaw or fries with that?
A couple years later, just after quitting law school, I met JD for pizza at a place a few blocks from our apartment. We drove separately from work, tired and exhausted from a day of staring aimlessly at our computers. I worked in Marketing part-time in a storage closet that was converted into an office, complete with a draw-string light bulb overhead. The pay was little, but it offered health insurance and I jumped at the opportunity. I packed my lunches in a brown paper bag because every penny was accounted for and, darn it, I really wanted that new lens as I started my photography business.
After dusting an entire pizza, JD and I walked to my Honda Accord. The same one I'd been driving way before my BBQ slingin' days. Over the years, the hood had become oxidized and the paint disappeared, so it looked like I was driving a black car with a grey hood. We'd been saving to get the hood painted because I was embarrassed of showing up early to engagement sessions and parking a few blocks away so clients wouldn't see my car. A dented car I loved, but feared made me look as desperate as I felt.
It was then when JD told me we'd have to wait to get the hood painted. Again. The start-up company where he worked delayed paychecks since a promised contract had yet to arrive. It was going to be a rough two weeks...left-overs, packed lunches, every penny counted. I got in my car and drove home with hot, angry tears streaming down my face. Painting the hood would cost $85 and we didn't even have that to spare.
But here's the thing, Has Less: something inside me was brewing. Something I couldn't muster when I was serving cole slaw or carrying my law books or sitting in a storage closet/office...HUMILITY. For years I carried this idea I was better than slingin' ribs or driving a two-toned, dented car. But I wasn't. And you're not above carrying beers. None of us are above doing what we need to do to get things done in the name of our dreams. It's about working hard, practicing, serving others, and honing our craft. |
To be honest, I don't know if sooner or later your sacrifices will "turn out to be shiny and true" but what I do know is that the lessons you're learning now can be applied to whatever life holds for you. For everything life holds for you. Ring! Ring! Ring! Do you hear that, Has Less? That's the sound of something changing. Your life is about to be filled with sticky smoke and your eyes will water, but I promise nothing feels better than getting your hands dirty from the passion in your heart.
Stay Fabulous,
j* |
    
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Friday Randomness : Battle of the Bulge
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I 've always known what insatiable means...like, theoretically and stuff. But for the first time in my life, I truly understand this word. It's like that scene in "White Men Can't Jump" when Rosie Perez turned to Woody Harrelson and said in her Puerto Rican accent, I, too, know what it is like to thirst. Yes, Rosie, I understand. You're thirsty, I'm hungry.
Insatiable, the incapability of being satisfied.
In light of my recent trip to the hospital last week, I'm making my way through quite a bit of medicine, one in particular that makes me feel like I haven't eaten since my umbilical cord days. Yes, THAT hungry. The first and last things on my mind are food. All types of glorious food and all the ways I'll prepare it. My food fantasies have gotten so crazy I find myself wanting to take a bite out of stick of butter. Or swallow a wheel of parmesan cheese.
Internet, this is serious.
Since this week has been Battle of the Bulge up in these here parts, this Friday Randomness is dedicated to what I love most: my husband FOOD...
Go on...just look at this rainbow Oreo and tell me you wouldn't fight Rue Paul for it!!! |
| Hot dogs are so overrated. |
| Some see violence, I see the tools needed to MAKE ME DINNER. |
| And this is what I should be doing instead of eating...someone spot me |
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Virginia Country Club Wedding : Shannon+Bill
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© Jasmine Star. This post cannot be republished without permission. Stealing makes me sad. |
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N umber one. If there was a common theme in Shannon's life, it's number one. To be the best sister, daughter, friend and regardless of how she ensured it happened, it always did. She's the type of person to plan family dinners, orchestrate holiday events, organize Lakers-themed parties, or send a personalized card. And these characteristics have less to do with being better than, but to gather like-minded people around her and share gravity of her love.
When Bill came into Shannon's life, he became the a participant in the gale force energy that Shannon possesses. They went to NBA games together, dressed for themed parties together, and patiently listened as details were organized for a litany of events. The way Bill looks at Shannon across a crowded room gives onlookers an idea of why he loves her so much: while she's making others feel their best, he knows he's become her number one.
Shannon and Bill...who's ready to plan another wedding?! Com'on friends...we can talk about the plans for DAYS!!! I'm sure you're enjoying the sunny beaches of Maui, but patiently waiting a sneak peek of your wedding photos too...so here they are! I hope they embody all the work your poured into your special day and reflect the love your have for each other and those around you. It was an honor to join you on your first day as husband and wife. Much Love and Appreciation... j* |
| Shannon and her design consultant, Melanie Furata, worked on creating personalized elements to the wedding day and every corner was filled with pops of color...loved it! Many thanks to Primary Petals for this fuchsia, orange, and teal bouquet... |
| The ever fab ladies of Fiore Beauty were on hand to ensure Shannon's hair and makeup were simply beautiful... |
| Shannon and Bill opted to see each other before the ceremony for a First Look, which was a perfect fit for for their day and calming the bride's nerves before walking down the aisle... |
| The amazing crew at Virginia Country Club carted us on golf carts wherever we wanted to go and I'm incredibly thankful we discovered with lovely patch of light along the golf course... |
| Just before the ceremony, we were able to utilize the amazing light of such a beautiful wedding day... |
| The amazing light continued as JD captured this photo leading into the wedding... |
| Every time I see a mantilla veil, I want to wear one. Around the house...like, when I wash dishes or paint my nails. Love it. |
| Paper goods add that perfect splash of detail goodness, so I was delighted to see Posh Paperie on hand for the reception as well... |
| I loved the chevron table runner mixed with the organic vibe of the centerpieces... |
| The First Dance...with special lighting provided by the ever amazing videographers, Elysium Productions... |
| I must give a special shout out to The Young Guns...they were amazing and provided such a fun evening! |
| Speaking of a fun evening, the night was made perfect with Cool Haus ensuring ice cream sandwiches were handmade and served right... |
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FAQ : Photographing a New Wedding Venue
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I arrived early and as the venue coordinator wheeled me around in golf cart, the summer sun shined on my knees. As we passed the 17th hole, she pointed out various greenways I could photograph the bride and groom, should I wish. I'd never shot at the country club before, so I wanted to get a lay of the property before I began photographing the day. The coordinator swept me around the property quickly and kindly offered prospective locations.
And there's the lake with the fountain most photographers use on a wedding day, she pointed from a distance as we carted along a dirt path. Right at that moment, I had to smile because four years ago, would've heeded every suggestion and held onto every tidbit for dear life, like her words were photographic commandments.
Thankfully, I've changed.
Back when I started my business, I fell into the habit of Googling photos from wedding venues a few days before I was slated to shoot there myself. I wanted to see what others were doing, make sure I had the "right" shots, and ensure I didn't miss the "perfect" wedding picture. And if there was a fountain springing from a lake, my clients WOULD SO STAND IN FRONT OF IT SO HELP ME GOD. Because I'd seen it on Google. Duh.
Nowadays, I'm shooting at new venues more often than not, but my approach is entirely different. It's pretty basic, but it's as follows:
*I show up 30 minutes early to walk the property with JD.
*Learn what's accessible to the wedding photographer (for instance, some resorts/hotels only allow photography on certain portions of the property).
*Once I know what I can work with, I'm looking for good light, as well as anticipating where the light will change throughout the day to ensure I craft the timeline to ensure my clients can play into its illumination.
*This 30-minute portion of the wedding day is imperative because it allows my mind to see the venue as a naked canvas, free from how hundreds of others have seen it before.
*I choose the First Look location...and an alternate location (just in case something changes at the last minute we can always stay on the same page).
*I map where I'll take the bride and groom for their 30 minutes of wedding portraits (this ensures the videographers, the coordinator and the photographers are on the same page at any given point in the day).
*I choose the bridal party portrait location.
Once this is complete, JD and I separate and we document the bride and groom individually preparing. Because we've established each location beforehand, very little communication needs to happen between us and we're freed to focus on simply photographing the moments, the couple, and the venue uniquely. |
Last Saturday, there was a fountain and a lake at the wedding venue...and I'm happy to say we ran in the opposite direction.
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Garden Engagement : Elise + Chris
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T heir chance meeting was due in large part to a slice of pizza. A slice of free pizza, but Elise and Chris know the events surrounding that bribe may also have been enticing. Chris and his USC fraternity brothers hosted a mid-afternoon party at their frat house and invited Elise's sorority for a day in the sun and on the slip-n-slide.
Studying in her Delta Delta Delta sorority house, Elise looked up from her books at the clock and realized she could probably sneak over for a slice of pizza and get back to studying without being detected. She no doubt enjoyed the extracurricular activities of Greek life, but Elise simply wanted to focus on school at the moment. She slipped into a red bikini top and shorts, and made her way to Sigma Phi Epsilon.
It was there she met Chris, a charming, vivacious, humorous guy who easily persuaded her to spend the afternoon studying the art of Fun. Seven years later, they've traveled the world, created memories, and are set of embarking on their most exciting adventure yet: marriage. I'm extraordinarily excited to document their wedding at Pelican Hill Resort later this fall and I know great things are in store based on our time together last week! |
| One of the reasons I was particularly excited for Elise and Chris' engagement session was because of the personal attention they paid to choosing the right location. Wanting something unique, Elise suggested meeting at her grandparents' house in Orange County, surrounded by 10 acres of gardens, foliage, and sun-dripped backgrounds. It was the perfect location for engagement photos! |
| I'm very thankful for Jeannie Savage of Details, Details sending such amazing clients my way...from the moment we met, it felt like a perfect fit! Just look at how much these two adore each other... |
| Elise, you are something FIERCE...love it! |
| Elise spent her childhood roaming the gardens of her grandparents' home and their gardeners use their cherry-picker truck for most the harvesting, a detail Chris always seemed impressed with! ;) |
| There's this thing I think to myself sometimes behind the lens. Hairology. You know, the study of just how awesome someone's hair can be? As I photographed Elise, it took everything in me not to reach out and touch it. She's like a real life Pantene ProV commercial... |
| Chris told me at the beginning of the engagement session that the garden attracted the most amazing sunset light and he hoped I'd capture a bit of it...Chris, I hope I didn't let you down! ;) |
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