Today I sent an email to my best friends. Since so many of us are all over the world right now, email is the best form of communication and keeps us close. I wrote an email and I decided to post it here. For posterity's sake. After reading it a bit later, I realized I want to remember how I'm feeling at this exact moment. The good, the bad, and the slightly German.

To: Best Friendos
From: Jasmine Star
Date: Sunday, August, 22. 2010
Subject: Re: Re:

so i'm sitting here getting a pedicure and crying. you know, a little bit. the frey is playing on KBIG, you know…that soft rock station. the one we made fun of in high school. and now i'm crying to the music. what has happened to me!?!!? what's next…crying at folgers commercials?
i think i'm just extra emotional because i'm stressed and scared about next week and the creativelive course.
i didn't even want to get a pedicure. but, really, i can't go to seattle with jacked up feet. that's just wrong. on so many levels. what if i wear open-toe shoes and then everyone runs away? that would be embarrassing…because it's live on the internet and all.
so here's the deal. i'm just gonna lay it all out there because if all this goes south, you'll be there to help support me.
*we got home from the wedding last night at 1:30am. and we ate quesadillas. at 1:30am. if i've ever experienced eater's remorse, it was then. i'm feeling so puffy it ain't even funny.
*i feel like i might have bitten off more than i can chew. and i'm not talking about the quesadillas. this seattle event is scaring the crap outta me. like, every last bit of anything. i've been a walking ball of nerves for the past two weeks. i wake up in the morning and my first thought is: i hope i don't suck.
*i feel so much pressure shooting the wedding. there's so, so much going into the production of this event…but that's the craziest thing of all: it's not an event. it's her WEDDING. i'm just so overwhelmed wanting to give her everything she deserves, but at the same time balancing the fact that people are tuning in to watch me work. the.pressure.is.killing.me. please pray i can keep everything balanced and in perspective.
*all i really want to do is crawl in between the couch cushions with a pint of ben&jerry's and catch up on project runway. because, really, i need me some heidi klum to visper dat everyting will be AUF WIEDERSEHEN!!

in lighter news, i can't wait to see everyone at bi's wedding. am i the only one dying to ‘cat claw' on the dancefloor?! bring it.
soft rock, puffy, and craving ice cream,
j*