12.16.10 Personal

Kisses+Disses : Christmas Lights + Passport Photos

S
ometimes he drives by it reeeeeeal slow. And then back again slowly to park in our garage. Our house is illuminated with Christmas lights this time of year with thanks to JD. Last year we didn't put up lights because he boycotted in light of the debacle the previous year. Yeah. That was the year I got all Griswold Christmas on him and begged him to cover--no, drench--our house in lights. He spent the entire day on the roof, second story, in between trees to ensure he didn't have to hear me ask for more lights on that bald patch by the kitchen window.

When sunset arrived, we walked outside, turned on the lights and it felt like a Hallmark commercial. A few hours later, our sprinklers turned on and blew an open fuse, resulting in 90% of our lights to not work. And we couldn't fix it. It felt like a Hallmark commercial set to heavy metal music.

This year JD rigged extension cords to avoid another outage, but I can't figure why. He decided to take a minimalist approach to lights this year. As in JUST OUR BUSHES. Who does that?! We have what I refer to as the Almost-Just-Kidding-Tricked-You-Didn't-I Christmas lights.

Last week, while walking the dog at night, I saw our house in the distance. And our illuminated bushes. JD read my thoughts, asked me to look down the entire street, and see if there was a house more decorated than ours. Ever the optimist he turned to me and said, You see?! Our bushes are the best decorated bushes on the block!

Cue the Hallmark music and let's get into another installment of Kisses and Disses...


This week's DISSES go to...
*The Tourist. Wow, that movie was painful. When a high speed chase is done in a boat moving 12 miles per hour, you know the rest of the film is going to be brutal.
*Almost-Just-Kidding-Tricked-You-Didn't-I Christmas lights.
*The Line at the Post Office. I actually read a few chapters of a book waiting to send a package. I should've brought my own chair.


This week's KISSES go to...
*Online Christmas Shopping. I can't believe I waited this long to indulge. It's renewed my Christmas cheer, because, really, is there anything better than shopping in pajamas and slippers?!
*New Passport Photos. I needed to renew my passport and I was terribly excited. My last photo looked like a mug shot. Not simply because it was upclose and unflattering, but I looked like a hard core Mexican gangster. I am beyond serious.
*Having the Most Decorated Bushes on the Block. (and a cute husband who rigs extension cords!)

Happy Thursday!
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Jenn Regruth - Please, can we see your old passport photo? I am convinced a bad picture of you does not exist!!!! ;)  12.18.10 - 5:56am
Cherie Hogan - The Tourist! WORST MOVIE I've seen lately... well, besides Here After (with Matt Damon). I mean, really, why did they have to make everyones (even women) head turn when Angelina walked by? Cheesy!   12.17.10 - 4:21pm
amanda thiessen - online shopping has been my savior this year!!  12.17.10 - 12:33pm
Jenni - Have you ever stood in line in an ITALIAN post office? Never again will I complain of American post offices, even during the holidays. haha... :)  12.17.10 - 11:03am
Chris Aram - There is no better way to shop than Amazon.com. For anyone. Anywhere. At any time. You'll forgive yourself for your credit card statement ... eventually. :D  12.17.10 - 10:20am
Lindsay - Tell me about the post office!?! Twice this week I've had to stand in a ridiculously long queue whilst carrying a 17lb baby! Must remember to take a book next time!  12.17.10 - 7:27am
Vincent - You're a nutter and adorable...you remind me of my wife  12.17.10 - 1:51am
Michelle Hebert - Just make sure JD takes the Christmas lights down off the bushes after Christmas. My parents leave their's on ALL year round...ahem...can we say ghetto?!? My son calls my mom's house, the Christmas house. So sad!  12.16.10 - 10:50pm
liz - you think online shopping is great? you should try click & ship from the post office. you pay for your package postage online from home and schedule them to pick it up- changed my shipping world! But then again, I don't read much :-)  12.16.10 - 8:01pm
Kelsey Anderson - LOL well your house is decorated better then ours. My husband hasn't even put our lights up and I am starting to think it isn't happening this year. LAME!  12.16.10 - 7:24pm
Julie O'Dell - Funnay!!!  12.16.10 - 5:24pm
Jessica Rodriguez - So jealous that you have Christmas lights on your bushes. I do not have any Christmas lights outside on our brand new house. His deffense is that we just moved in! I said that is not fair at all. Maybe next year he said...  12.16.10 - 4:53pm
kay* - haha! in canada we are specifically told NOT to smile for our passport photos....so everyone ends up looking like miserable gangsters lol. even kids. & you've just confirmed what i knew - the tourist blows. my 2 fave hollywood celebs and that's the best script hollywood could come up with for them?!?!? i'm so disappointed.   12.16.10 - 4:41pm
Cindee Elmer - This post made me think of a similar conversation my sister and bro-in-law had this year. She wanted lights to compare with their Griswoldesque neighbors. He agreed. I am emailing you a photo of what he came up with right now! Somehow I don't think it was what my sister was imagining.  12.16.10 - 1:41pm
alison - Oh no! I was totally looking forward to seeing The Tourist! How can a movie go so wrong with Johnny Depp?!   12.16.10 - 1:24pm
Jackie Lamas - big Diss to The Tourist. I expected way more too and was disappointed. But yay to your lit bushes :)  12.16.10 - 11:33am
Amanda - I felt like a GENIUS last night. I hit the post office at 7:30pm and there was zero line at the automated mailing machine thingy. I was in and out in under 5 minutes! (It did mean my evening glass of wine didn't happen until almost 8pm, but it was worth it!)  12.16.10 - 11:22am
Lisa Cour - Online Christmas shopping? A-Men!!  12.16.10 - 11:21am
Lydia - I'm just hoping to get a line of icicle lights across my front porch. There's nothing quite like coming down your driveway to a house beautifully lit by Christmas lights!  12.16.10 - 11:00am
Artemis Clover: The real L.A. love story. - need to go to the post office today. been putting it off but ugh i really have to!! saw your video post and i thoroughly enjoyed. please post more and thank you for keeping things real. i know sometimes things are not comfortable to do when you don't know how your audience will respond but kudos for doing it and looks like a unanimous yes!  12.16.10 - 10:55am
Marge E - I could not stop laughing -- so you are a real 'Ese' aren't you? LOL  12.16.10 - 10:31am
Life with Kaishon - I love that your bushes are festive : ) love. Love. Love.  12.16.10 - 10:03am
Lynn Childs - Happy Holidays to J* & JD .. you inspire me!!!!  12.16.10 - 9:44am
Mikaela - Doesn't matter if you're writing a kiss + diss post or a wedding of fabulousness...you have mad writing skills and I love it. Though I'm thoroughly disappointed about the The Tourist... Happy Thursday!!   12.16.10 - 9:42am
Jenny Tobler - We only have one window decorated with lights at my house... lol. So enjoy the bushes that have lights at yours. :) Husbands are great, aren't they?   12.16.10 - 9:38am
amanda - you must post the before and after passport photos, lol.   12.16.10 - 9:35am
ashley - oh jasmine, you are too funny. i so hope to meet you one day! and YES, the tourist was total c-r-u-d.   12.16.10 - 9:34am
Irela - Jasmine....you have been the bright spot in my ho-hum day. Thank you for sharing your day with us and brightning mine. (just HAD to share )  12.16.10 - 9:27am
Tiffany Lauderdale - Love the disses and kisses. We usually have a Griswold house too, but due to moving and losing most of our lights we kinda have a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree YARD, lol!! Merry Christmas!!!!  12.16.10 - 9:16am
joanna kapica - Awesome! looks like you guys, with those bushes nicely decorated are almost ready for Christmas! Merry Christmas to you, Jasmine and JD!  12.16.10 - 9:15am
Jennifer Jar - I hate my passport photo too! It's like they zoomed in as far as they could on my face and made it look like a planet!  12.16.10 - 9:15am
Jill Swank - If you post your passport pictures, I'll show you mine.  12.16.10 - 9:14am
Gail - Oh man..the trailer alone for The Tourist was painful. I'm sorry you had to sit through the whole 2 hours of it. And what is UP with Angelina's hair? And Johnny's face? (Rewatch Chocolate and all will be restored) And I love the post office-with-a-book anecdote. Girl, that is so me! PS - Have yo uwatched the trailer yet for Water for Elephants? Now THIS, my friend, looks like a pretty movie!! http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/fox/waterforelephants/  12.16.10 - 9:10am
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