12.30.10 Personal

Afraid to Un-Dream

wish I was better keeping a journal. I do, however, have a book that surfaces when I travel. A small, paperbound book filled with thick paper and my penmanship dresses quite a few pages. JD's too. Our travelogue, of sorts. I opened it a few nights ago by chance and came across a post from New Year's 2010, almost a year ago to the day. The entry chronicles life as it was in New Zealand, and the predicts how we'd ring in the New Year. It also had a list of goals. As I read back through the entry, I laughed.

JD is sitting in the other room with Polo right now. The house is freezing, I should probably turn on the heater. But I look back at the book.

This year appeared nothing like I imagined it would. My goals--as sincere as they were at the time--missed a major component: Dreaming. On the list were items I'd feel great to scratch off and think to myself Look! What! I! Accomplished! But none of them dared me to fail at something. Thankfully, opportunities came my way to remind me the value of risk, but I'm disappointed I didn't challenge myself before. To be honest, I was afraid.

A few nights ago, I sat down with that book and created a list of goals for 2011 and made sure I was afraid. Afraid to un-dream. Because one thing I've learned this past year is in the darkness of dreams, strength is revealed and passion takes flight...

My dreams and goals will stay privately tucked away in this book for a while, but I hope one day I can look back and be satisfied with daring to dream and failing. Or, better yet, succeeding.
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Justine Ray - This is so great, Jasmine! I think there are too many of us who are too scared to even think about the possibility of a dream... and the potential to miss the mark. Thank you. It has been on my heart to make a list, and to really dream, and your post is confirmation. You're amazing and I love love love your blog (sorry David Jay, but her blog rocks!). Much love  01.03.11 - 8:40pm
Stacy Cross - I LOVE this post, Jas. It's so real, so raw, and I identify with it SO much. I'm in the middle of journaling goals for 2011 and you've reminded me to think BIG and outside the boring ole box. Thanks girl!  01.03.11 - 12:35pm
Becky Trejo - Thank you so much for this post! Last week, I walked out on the balcony of our room (on our cruise of the Mexican Riviera) at two in the morning. It was pitch black. And unexpectedly startling. It sounds silly, but I wanted to duck back in the room and jump back under the covers with my husband. It was overwhelming and scary, frankly, to feel so extremely small. And to feel, so acutely, my human condition. But something stopped me and I stayed standing there on the balcony. I told myself to feel it. Live in it. Be scared for a second. Because I need to get acquainted with that feeling. I need to make friends with my fears so I can push through them. Otherwise, my fear of failure will keep me from reaching any higher, keep me from being what I want to be...I'm home from the cruise now, so thank you for reminding me to be okay with being afraid. Afraid to un-dream. I needed that today.  01.03.11 - 10:54am
amanda thiessen - here's to dreaming big! cheers!  01.03.11 - 9:33am
Lloyed Valenzuela - Very Inspiring. Im a big fan of you blog/site. Thanks JS!!! Happy New Year.  01.02.11 - 6:14pm
annaliza - haha. i love that you get it. i recently heard from a lecture that opulent people talk about their failures and not their wealth. i sat down and written 10 goals (mixed with 2 dreams) for 2011 as if they've already happened. it's empowering. you're the best!   01.02.11 - 5:01pm
Holli True - LOVE this post! I recently posted on twitter that "failure scares me, but failure to try scares me more". I firmly believe that. Dreaming is so healthy and vital for the soul. Though some dreams may never come to life, they will always live inside of us. :)  01.01.11 - 10:36am
Chelsea - I guess instead of making a goal for this year to be less afraid, I should include things that make me afraid and then do them anyway. Perfect. Inspirational. You totally rock.  12.31.10 - 5:39pm
Marissa Rodriguez - You are amazing. That is all.   12.31.10 - 1:45pm
Andria L. - Beautifully stated. Best wishes for a Blessed and exceedingly successful 2011!   12.31.10 - 5:22am
Christina Hastings - Mmm, yes, I love that! Keep dreamin' Jasmine!  12.30.10 - 11:03pm
Kelsey {Las Vegas Wedding Photographer} - Love this! So very true must dream and shoot high!  12.30.10 - 10:14pm
Kim Pace - Your "personal" posts always have something in them that makes me reflect within. And that is the number one reason your blog is 'da bomb.. :)  12.30.10 - 6:32pm
Nicole Benitez - Dreaming aloud {or at least on paper} is also my biggest 2011 Resolution of sorts. The fear to fail flutters rapidly in my heart, but I would love to put it to the test and dream aloud this year and see where it takes me. Thanks for the reminder to dream in the New Year!  12.30.10 - 5:46pm
Parv - You have a way with words that truly reaches the heart. Thank you for yet another wonderful post, and here's wishing you and JD only the very best for 2011.  12.30.10 - 4:57pm
Renee - Thanks for this post, it's just what I needed to hear ~ Dreaming of success, feeling the fear & just going for it !  12.30.10 - 3:38pm
Jenna Danelle - As I find myself suddenly unemployed today, a photography business just barely developed and not at a place to take off just yet, I so desperately hope to dream that this is my chance to run with it... Fear doesn't begin to describe it right now... But I am a bigger believer that everything happens for a reason, I have faith. Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart with us, it is a little light in the darkness that tried to come about. Strange it finds that it is up for a fight, as I am dreaming big right now! *hugs*  12.30.10 - 3:23pm
Amy Jo - You have helped me want to dream big since you did the creativelive workshop. That event changed my entire outlook on failure, and that I would rather fail at something I went out on a limb and tried, than live a life wondering what could have been. Thanks Jasmine!  12.30.10 - 3:02pm
Wendy - To un-dream. Wow.. this post, as simple as it was written, makes a powerful statement. It gave me the same tingly feelings I felt when I was in 1st grade and had to get up on stage and perform on a last minutes notice because the kid who was supposed to do it, chickened out. I was a shaky mess but afterwards - I was proud of myself. I've been living in a safe and comfortable place for years. It's time I challenge myself and better my photography. Thank you!  12.30.10 - 2:15pm
Sara Lando - when I watched you at creativelive there was this little thing about setting goals that got stuck in my head. The husband and I are setting goals for 2011. Time to dream big and behave accordingly. I really wish you an amazing 2011, Jasmine!  12.30.10 - 1:55pm
Kimberly - Totally know how you feel. I just bought a journal to write my goals into, I was watching Dane Sanders Live the other day and he was talking about making declarations. Well girl- you've solidified what I new in my heart. You're the bomb :) Cheers to 2011!!!  12.30.10 - 1:47pm
Jessica Chavez - I absolutely LOVE this post!! Yesterday I sat down to write a To Do List of what I have to do before the year is over, and I still have a couple of hours to get them done :) But this post challenged me to actually write my goals, make a list, check it once in a while to add more, but more importantly to be bold and dream! Thank you for reminding me to DREAM!! Happy New Year!! XOXO  12.30.10 - 1:28pm
Nat - What a wonderful reminder =) I've been avoiding writing down my own goals because I know I want to challenge myself! Once it's written down, for me, it might as well be etched in stone. Here goes ;)   12.30.10 - 12:15pm
anda - love this.  12.30.10 - 11:51am
cassandra-m - KEEP INSPIRING girl!!! Love this post. Your open and honestly encourages others to DREAM!!!!  12.30.10 - 11:26am
Bobbie Brown - Love this. By the way, do you think you could possibly add a "save my info" box to your blog for commentors?! I feel like I type my info in all the time! haha!   12.30.10 - 11:15am
Joanne - Fantastic post Jasmine... thank you for bravely putting it out there - consistently. I have been listening to your creative live course while I paint during my week away from the day job. I am extremely inspired right now. Thank you.   12.30.10 - 11:09am
angel canary - I know that you and jd will not only have a fantastic year, but that you will help thousands of other photographers have a fantastic year. You are such an inspiration, truly. I wish you both a happy and blessed new year. I can't wait to see what the future holds for you both. ;)  12.30.10 - 10:52am
Lydia - I definitely failed reaching for some of my goals this year, but the progress I made while climbing far surpasses anything I could have dreamed!  12.30.10 - 10:19am
Melissa - You are an extraordinary person!!! Some of your posts throughout this year have given me the courage to put my goals into action. Since I have found your blog I like to think I have become a better person. A stronger person. I am no longer afraid to go out and try new things or work harder on the things I want to excel at. You truly are a "STAR". I am thankful for you!!!  12.30.10 - 10:01am
Christy - Something tells me you'll reach those dreams Jas...   12.30.10 - 9:56am
Annie - Jasmine! What an inspiring post. Thank you to dare me to dream and un-dream!   12.30.10 - 9:49am
Karen Taggart - I've never made a Goals for the New Year list, which is odd since I make lists of everything, but I think I'm going to. Fear holds me back. I am my own worst enemy. I've been planning for and learning about my biz for so long that I think I'm afraid to fully dive in head first. 2011 is the year! Do or die. At least I'll know I tried.  12.30.10 - 9:39am
Claudia - Really nice post.  12.30.10 - 9:36am
Mary Topolski - Hi Jasmine. As I read this I begin to reflect on my own dreams and goals and I went, "huh!" By these simple reflections you have not only inspired me but also it presents a challenge for me to really put it in gear! Thanks Jasmine.   12.30.10 - 9:05am
Hannah - You are so amazing. I pray that one day I can have all that you have. You success is an amazing story. Thank you for opening my eyes in 2010 of what "could be"  12.30.10 - 8:58am
Erin Lassahn - Beautifully written Jasmine!  12.30.10 - 8:54am
Michelle Feeney - Thanks Jasmine. This is a great reminder as I jump into the deep end of my own 2011 pool of thoughts, goals and dreams. :)  12.30.10 - 8:52am
LEOLAK - So cool....I'm going to make my 2011 list...rather get it out of my head and on to paper....and succeed or fail...b/c I'm tired of my status quo! Here's to all the best in 2011..for and all of us aspiring for more!   12.30.10 - 8:50am
Nicole Firestone - Jasmine. Your humility and grace is beyond admirable. As I read your posts I can't help but to be inspired by your energy and attitude. More importantly, I think you help people become the best version of themselves. All the best in 2011.   12.30.10 - 8:42am
Charisse - I needed to read this today Jasmine as 2010 comes to an end. I actually woke up today clothed in the places of "failure" reminded of where my goals from last year fell short of their friution, and I almost chose to not set new goals this year. Sadly, Afraid to dream and fall short again. This was the confirmation I needed not to do that and to also add a measure of real challenge combined with big dreams. To trust that my hearts desires is in God's will for my life. Thanks for sharing again. May 2011 come in with vigor & excitement for all who desire to meet the challenge!  12.30.10 - 8:42am
Cyndi Farrare - "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars." -Les Brown  12.30.10 - 8:42am
Maria - Loved the post! Thanks for encouraging us all to dream along with you. Happy New Year to you, JD and Polo! ** See you soon at the Workshop!!! =)  12.30.10 - 8:39am
Jessica Turner - I've been afraid of dreaming too and taking risks. The other day I decided I did not want that to happen again either. I'm tired of worrying about what "might" happen. Ah, the big "what if;" it scares away many a worthy opponent. My husband put a magnet in my stocking this year that I absolutely love and want to live by in 2011 - "Do one thing every day that scares you." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt. So here's to a riskier, scarier, passion-filled 2011!   12.30.10 - 8:38am
Michelle Smith - I. Love. This. Post!!! Thank you so much for inspiring me to be who I know I can be.. As a person and as a professional! Thank you!!!  12.30.10 - 8:37am
Sandra - How'd you get so smart at such a young age?  12.30.10 - 8:35am
Chantae Whitaker - Jasmine, I hope your 2011 is as great as your 2010 was! Happy New Year to you and JD. I pray that when I meet you in College Station next month, I can get one picture, puleaze!!! See, I've already shared one of my dreams with you!! :-)  12.30.10 - 8:35am
Mel - Heart you Jasmine! I am right there with you . . .dreams are being made reality...and it all begins with a choice to dream in the first place. Happy New Year 2011 . . . take the risk . . . take flight . . . and know there are so many of us beside you . . . along for the journey . . .also striving for passion and the life we are called to live. God Bless! :)   12.30.10 - 8:35am
Leela - Really should do that before tomorrow.. good call. I was 25 last time I wrote one. It was all about me and now, goals would be all about them. Thank goodness for 10 years more of life.  12.30.10 - 8:35am
Robert Cincinnati - Thank you Jasmine for once again being a great inspiration and for reminding me that being afraid is OK. I wish you and JD a Happy New Year and a great year of Un-afraidness!  12.30.10 - 8:34am
Riz Crescini - I'll be dreaming big along with you in 2011. Happy New Year!  12.30.10 - 8:33am
Darla Sutton - Amen to that sister!  12.30.10 - 8:31am