 |
|
Quitting...then following your dreams.
|
S ometime around late April I quit. Just threw in the proverbial towel...waved a white flag...tapped out. I was pulled in too many directions and I lost focus, so the easiest thing was the walk away. At that point, I'd been working on EXPOSED Magazine for a few months, but I just lost my mojo and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake myself from the funk, so I simply stopped.
I was hurt about this decision, but I was running fast without a direction and the only person I was kidding was myself. I was depressed about the project (what originally started out as a PDF/e-reader) and I couldn't shake the guilt of walking away. Around that time I had a conversation with David Jay and I expressed my disappointment...in myself. Then he suggested I make the e-reader into an actual magazine. That's impossible, I said and ended the conversation there. I'm kinda dramatic like that. |
| A bit later, my friend Anda emailed me after reading the first draft of my project, and--as a former librarian--offered valuable insight and raw honesty in how I could make the e-reader better. Then my friend Gail coached me along in every chapter. She provided inspiration, content, and transformed my writing style...when I wanted to give up again, she fought me. My childhood friend Brianna stayed up late into the night proof-reading and making low-fat muffins...she said the sugar would help me. Maybe she was right. The more we worked on the project, the more complex things became...here's a look into our shared Google doc of edits... |
| Last May I attended a conference and was struck with the realization that dreams will always be dreams until I make them a reality. It was there that I decided to move forward with the magazine (yes, even though I still thought it was impossible) and gave myself a time limit...I had to make this happen before 11.11.11. I immediately contacted my graphic designer, Promise Tangeman, and told her about my crazy/impossible idea. Jasmine, you know I've never designed a magazine before, right? We somehow decided we were up for the challenge then created a five-month plan of action. |
Promise suggested a photo shoot to act as a cohesive framework for EXPOSED and we decided Trever Hoehne was the perfect commercial photographer to join our team. Trever took our ideas and put his own spin on them and--with styling by Summer Watkins-- created an editorial shoot I'll never forget. (We were lucky to work with gorgeous Jessica Seeley as a model and have Melina Ruiz for makeup and Molly Shriver for hair.) I asked uber fab cinematographer Anton Lorimer to join us and he captured behind-the-scene footage...what he produced blew my mind...
And every step along the way, there was JD. My sweet, long-suffering, and endearing partner. Who picked up dinner on his way home, who picked up my shoes at the end of stairs at night, who picked me up when I fell asleep writing at my computer. On the days when I said the journey was too long, JD reminded me to merely focus on each step along the way. |
Today--on 11.11.11--I'm writing this post for anyone who, like me, wanted to quit. If you feel like you're ready to throw in the towel, I FEEL YOU. I know what it feels like to give something your all and still feel directionless. Don't quit just yet...take a deep breath...recalibrate...surround yourself with people who believe in you...then create a plan of action. Give it one more try because life is too short not make your dreams a reality.
Stay Fabulous,
j* |
    
2013
|
|
|
2012
|
|
|
2011
|
|
|
2010
|
|
|
2009
|
|
|
2008
|
|
|
2007
|
|
|
|
