L ately I've been doing a lot of doing. Yeah, you know that thing that people do when they're unsure of the next move? Doing. That's me. I put my head down and charge toward the next thing on my To Do list because scratching things off makes me feel productive.
But sometimes productivity is morphine for creativity. It makes you feel like everything is okay, but deep down you know morphine doesn't fix insecurities...it hides them.
Sometimes I do because I'm afraid to create. And I couldn't bring myself to admit this until JD called me out a few days ago. I sat slack-jawed in the car as he delivered his admonition and then I got out and shut the door a little too loudly. I stomped into our home and straight upstairs and sat at the edge of the bed weighing his words. I almost couldn't bear the kilos of truth.
At times I'm afraid to create, but I know I need to because creating changes me. It forces me to rethink and morph. And, above all, creating scares me. If I've learned anything at all in starting a business, it's that if you're not a little bit scared a lot of the time, you're not pushing yourself enough.
So, here's to pushing...and dreaming...and creating. Because you can. |
