How to Overcome Failure

Dear Jasmine,
I wanted to bounce something off you about disappointment and how you manage that in your business.
I'm speaking specifically about satisfaction in my work. I had a shoot before Christmas at a client's home. She wanted a family portrait while her parents were visiting. But when I got to her space, there was a perfect trifecta of challenges. Poor light, cramped space and a grumpy 3 year old. I kept a positive attitude and pulled every trick out of my hat that I could. The images turned out only “okay”. Certainly not up to my standards and I felt they didn't live up to my portfolio either.
My client was gracious but I could tell she wasn't over the moon about them. In an effort to show her the best customer service I could, I offered another mini shoot at no charge for the next time her parents were in town in an area that the group could be more comfortable.
My dilemma is emotional, I'm afraid. It was a confidence blow. I feel like I am unable to perform in tough technical circumstances. I know I just need more experience and practice, but how do I overcome this feeling of failure?
Sincerely,
Feeling Insecure

Dear Feeling Insecure,
A few years ago, I saw an interview with Matt Damon. Yes, THE Matt Damon. As in my pretend boyfriend (along with Ryan Gosling…because, really, WHY SHOULD A GIRL HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HER PRETEND BOYFRIENDS?!). Where am I going with this tangent? Oh, yes, Matt Damon. I found the interview fascinating because he said when an aspiring actor asked for advice on getting into the film industry, he told them to quit. Just stop right there.

Matt furthered this idea by explaining if an actor heeds his advice on quitting, then the actor didn't want it badly enough to begin with. The actor, he said, will face rejection, trials, and failures, so he was merely preparing them for what was in store. On the other hand, if the actor ignores Matt's advice, the actor is better prepared to deal with the future.

I sat slack-jawed watching the interview because what he said was true. Feeling Insecure, I hate to break this to you, but as creatives we will face a litany of failures. More failures than you or I could dream of. If you're afraid of them, I heavily suggest you quit. Just stop right here. This'll ease the discomfort of dealing with another emotional dilemma tied to your business.

If, however, you're determined to make this dream of becoming a professional photographer a reality, then know one thing: this is the first of many failures. The key is to learn from this experience and get better. Instead of shriveling and falling backward into a puddle of pity, fail forward. What could you have changed from this mediocre photo shoot? Focus on the amendments and get better.

My honest opinion is your photo shoot made you stronger, made you determined to never make the same technical mistakes again. You should be thankful for this opportunity to hone your skills and when another photo shoot presents itself in the near future, you'll be ready to face your fears head on. Deal with your failure now, so you're ready to embrace the future with confidence and honed skills. At that moment, there'll be no need to pull tricks out of your proverbial hat…you'll effortlessly work like the trained professional you made yourself to be.

Stay Fabulous,
j*