01.29.13 Personal

Five Things I'm Terrified to Tell You

T
hings have changed. Life no longer looks the way it did seven years ago...this makes me both happy and sad. The future is exciting and filled with endless opportunities, but the past is a treasure box of my favorite memories. I started my blog seven years ago to document what I thought would become pieces of a failed photography business. What transpired, however, was the inception of my dream.

Back then posts were filled with awkward longing and divulging the struggles of getting life off the ground. Now it's morphed into a mix of photography tips, pop culture references, and curated aspects of my week. It's slowly moved away from the raw unknown to who I am today. And that's fine, but I miss putting myself out there...it's one thing to write when your only reader is your mother, but different when you want to protect the softer parts of your heart.


Today I'm posting Five Things I'm Terrified to Tell You...

JD and I are praying about adopting a child. This is, of course, a huge decision (and, really, I accidentally let a cactus wilt...can I really have a kid?!), but the thought of starting a family in the next couple of years makes me mix of sap/worrier/ecstatic/nervous/joyful.

I hide food. You'd think I was raised during the Depression with the way I hoard treats in corners of the pantry, freezer, or my purse. Once, when I was 10 years old, I hid two dozen pumpkin cookies in a satchel and ate them in a single sitting in the back of my mother's minivan.

I wish for everyone else's wardrobe. Looking at friends' outfits on instagram makes me view my closet with absolute distaste and disdain. I hate admitting this.

I lay in bed at night worrying I'll fall ill/lose a leg/poke my eye out. It's a ridiculous thing to worry about, but I do because I really just want to photograph for the rest of my life.

I have no decorating skills to speak of. Last night I made a joke that our bedroom looked like the easter bunny and drug dealers contributed to the decor. JD didn't think it was funny.


I'm not going to lie. Publishing this post makes me a little ill, but one day I'll look back and realize how small and silly my fears were...either that or tell a great story about the time I poked my eye out.
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Mindy - What a fun idea! I love the interaction  03.13.13 - 8:33am
Alisha Sims - Jasmine, I was just watching creative live today and wishing I had your wardrobe. You're not alone and you pretty well dress like a rock star. Also after looking at your pictures I need new grey jeggings to go with my jean shirt :)   03.09.13 - 4:54pm
Laura Simmons - Wow, I hope you do adopt! You will both make fantastic parents! :)   03.04.13 - 10:40am
jacque - Thank you for being honest and candid. Most people, women, of course do want to share their fears or what they believe to be inadequacies. Thank you for showing us the inside of a beautiful person and what their heart looks like. Praying that blessings upon blessings come your way.   02.16.13 - 2:45pm
Robert Arroyo - I love that you provide these personal posts about your life. They are so inspiring and make me respect you THAT much more. Not only because you are a talented photographer, but for acknowledging/accepting who you are as a person and not trying to portray something else.   02.13.13 - 7:33am
sharon snow - Hello Jasmine, I have been following you for just over four years. I love your work, your writing and your outlook on life... For the past five years I have only dreamed of turning my passion for photography into a real part of my life and begin making a real living with it. Sadly, last year a huge life event turned my world upside down in ways I never imagined, my world was shattered. I am finally learning to find meaning again and look forward to life and teach my two beautiful children how to face challenges with grace, humility and a true belief that the journey is what truly counts not the hiccups that sometimes take us down (Bianca's blog is always a great source of inspiration to help with this)... anyway, my point, yes, I have one... It has been a while since I checked in on your blog, I guess it was too painful to face what I followed for so long and dreamed of doing. However, I am back and taking baby steps, and that dream may just be stirring up again here... ... and my point... I was overjoyed to read of your plans to adopt a child. As a Mother of two truly amazing and beautiful children from Thailand, I can hands down say they have been the greatest gift in my life, a blessing from God and my whole reason for being. They grew in another woman's belly, but ultimately they grew in my heart. They are the reason for my journey, they are every reason why challenges are simply challenges and the doorway for me to teach them about life, and what a gift that is. Being a Mother, an adoptive Mother, truly is the privilege of all privilege's. I wish you and JD the very best on a journey that will be your most beautiful and life changing ever. I couldn't imagine a bigger blessing to a child, than parents such as yourself and JD. I look forward to following your journey again. Blessings, Sharon   02.11.13 - 4:54pm
Carolyn - I don't follow your blog because I am a photographer but because I love beauty and your photos are beautiful. Loved reading that you are considering adoption, my husband and I have adopted two sons and have a foster daughter we hope to adopt. Just have to say, be prepared for the ride of your lives! It's so worth the journey...  02.07.13 - 4:58pm
Kelly - Praying with you, I know that turmoil. It's all well worth it, that I can promise.  02.07.13 - 9:22am
Darcie Sutherland - Jasmine.. I wish to someday meet you in person and hug you. I love your vulnerability, honesty, candidness, and ur pictures. oh yes.. ur mag too! almost done:) All this to say, thanks for posting that you are real and have real fears and feelings too. One day, you will be reading this, as you sit with your child:)  02.06.13 - 4:31pm
CornĂ© Smetsers - I think you would be an awesome mom! No doubt about it! The fact that you want someone else's wardrobe is pretty normal for a female haha. Most girls I know don't like their outfits, but love the outfits from their friends when they go out clubbin'. Really hope you don't poke your eye out :)  02.06.13 - 7:37am
Marissa Nicole - I have always wondered why there wasn't a baby J*. I'm super happy to hear you say this. That will for sure be a super fun kid. Keep praying, the Lord will make it very clear & trust me if you take care of your dog as well as you do a baby will just fine. Trust me! I didn't know if what the heck to do with babies & now my son is 1.5.   02.04.13 - 10:10pm
Carolina - A family is a wonderful/sanctifying thing, I hope you all will start yours soon! Don't worry about the wardrobe, I think everybody struggles with that (but just remember, those clothes don't last as long as the do on the picture). :)  02.04.13 - 1:53pm
Evonne & Darren - You will make a great mom! Can't wait to see your family grow from a furbaby to a real baby!  02.04.13 - 12:15pm
Marina Grey - Thank you for this post Jasmine. I needed a sign to buck up and It gave me strength I needed. Much love, Marina  02.04.13 - 11:55am
Belinda - Jasmine! I love your wardrobe silly. You always look great. Wishing you the best in regards to adoption and parenthood. Cactuses are dumb. ;) You've been a great mommy to Polo, I'm sure you'll do great.  02.04.13 - 10:21am
lydia giesbrecht - Jasmine. Your posts are heart warming. I wish you all the best in your desire to adopt. That is wonderful. Question. Love the picture with this post. What lens and settings do you use to accomplish this look? Thanks.  02.02.13 - 11:58am
michelle carrillo - Jasmine, I'm HOPING you see this comment/post in time... but my heart SWELLED at you stating that you are praying about adopting. I wanted to let you know of an event happening locally next Saturday (Feb 9th) called Choose Joy. www.choosejoyevent.com. All about the ins & outs, ups and downs of surviving infertility & adoption, from a faith-based perspective. (I'll have a vendor table there to let people know about Red Thread Sessions - www.redthreadsessions.com) But there are still tickets available, and thought you might be interested in checking it out. Just in case.   02.01.13 - 2:38pm
Suzanne Williams - Jaz, If you ever poke your eye out, god forbid, you can always fall back on writing a column. Your so funny I sometimes jump on your blog just to brighten a gloomy day with a giggle. Love your personality. Don't ever let it go! And you'll make a great mom someday!  02.01.13 - 2:28pm
Rachel McCloud - Thank you for being brave :)  02.01.13 - 9:49am
Karen - We just had a baby in 2012 ..... it brings an entirely new level of understanding and appreciation to our work as photographers. Good luck!  01.31.13 - 4:49pm
Christine - Yay for adoption!!!! We adopted our daughter, from Ethiopia, Africa two years ago [she is 4!] I have four kids. Ages 28-4. I am 50. To say the least there are about 1000 things that terrify me at any given moment. Life is scary. Being a Mom is scary. Adoption is scary. I can say [looking back] that many times it's been the things that were the most 'terrifying' that have brought the biggest blessing. But somehow-I think you already know that...what a testimony you have girl!! You are an amazing young women with so many amazing gifts You are truly inspiring!!! God's got gi-normous plans for your life. I can't wait to see what's next. All the best! :)  01.31.13 - 11:12am
Becca David - Adoption will rock your world!!! My husband and I have adopted our 2 sweet kiddos from Ethiopia. Such an amazing journey and a perfect picture of how God loves us and adopted us as His own. Praying for grace, strength and endurance on your journey.  01.31.13 - 9:19am
Stefanie - Bravo for sharing the REAL you! We all have weird stuff we've done (and still do!)... thanks for keeping it real around here. And YAY for adoption! As an adoptive mama from China (7 times over) let me know if you have any questions about China adoption. I'd be more than happy to help in any way I can :)  01.31.13 - 6:33am
cassandra-m - Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy. Any baby would be so lucky to have you two & Polo as family. My prayers are with you guys. Can u feel me smiling all the way from Savannah....I am. May God Bless You in whatever direction this goes. LUV U!   01.30.13 - 11:51pm
LEOLAK - THANK YOU for sharing this. Wishing all the best for you and JD in your life and business.   01.30.13 - 3:25pm
Meredith Adams - I love how vulnerable and real you are. It gives hope to a lot of people. We're all the same. Thanks for sharing. Also, if it becomes clear that it is the right thing for you two, I'm really excited for you about adopting. I'd love to adopt in the future, too. *hugs*  01.30.13 - 1:34pm
Elaine - This is one of the things I love about the Juarez family! Honest - transparent - real -tell it like it is! Praying for your adoption plans - and the blessed child you will call your own!   01.30.13 - 11:19am
Carlee - Jasmine, you are an incredible person and such an inspiration. It is nice to be reminded that we are all human and we all have stupid human fears and insecurities. You are so brave to put those out on your blog! You are going to be an amazing mom! Hope yours prayers are answered quickly! :)  01.30.13 - 10:05am
clarivel.ann - J-star! This. Wow. I just. I needed this. I needed to be reminded that the people I'm inspired by through their blogs are real people, too. I'm adding these things to my prayer list today. Adoption is my dream, too. As soon as I read it at the top of your list, my eyes filled. God has someone for you and JD!! And they will be so excited to live and grow in your easter bunny decorated house. Know that we, your readers, are excited and will cover you both in our prayers. Jesus rocks.   01.30.13 - 9:18am
Alaina Bos - I have the same irrational fears about injuring myself and not being able to take pictures :) And also, the thought of starting a family TERRIFIES me! You're just brave enough to put your heart out there and admit it!!!  01.30.13 - 7:43am
Jennifer Hudspeth - I so admire you. I have been following your blog, well for about seven years. I stumbled across you searching for photography I wanted to reference for my someday wedding and ended up reading your blog every chance I had. Later it turned to the blog I read e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y. You are so inspiring, real, & true to who you are. It is a rare quality that seems to be disappearing. Thank you, again, for putting yourself out there. You are an extraordinary photographer and person. Between the hope, faith, and love you share - The greatest is definitely LOVE.   01.30.13 - 7:21am
CC - I don't know if you saw this, but it looks like one of your photos ended up on Buzzfeed (scroll to the very bottom). I don't know if you mind, but in case you weren't aware, I thought I'd let you know. http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/47-gorgeous-wedding-headpiece-ideas   01.30.13 - 6:13am
Bobbie Brown - Jasmine, I read every word in this post and LOVED it. Really.loved.it. (and the picture is gorgeous) Can I just say I am SO excited for you guys to start a family?! Children really do make life so much sweeter...best of luck to you! (and yes, I know I am acting like your doing it now...and it could be awhile, but still excited!)  01.30.13 - 5:18am
Kathy - I admire your work and follow your blogs etc. What I admire most about your style and talent is how you put yourself out there. Vulnerability is strength...because you are open to share with everyone else...you have grown a fan base not only because of your extrodinary eye for the photo...but because your personaliity shines through and draws in the reader through your words...thank you for sharing your fears...we all have them...we just aren't as courageous as you to put them out there...maybe that's why we aren't as successful as you have been!!! :)  01.30.13 - 3:58am
SANDRA SITAR PHOTOGRAPHY - Jasmine - I heart you! I'm teary eyed and inspired.   01.30.13 - 2:50am
falcon - This is why you're amazing, Jasmine. It's so inspiring when someone lives in their truth and are really transparent :)   01.30.13 - 12:40am
Farm chick - Thank you for showing us how to dream, be bold and be in love with every day in every way. Prayers to you.  01.29.13 - 9:53pm
Stephanie Dyane - Jasmine - I've been reading your blog since the very beginning. You've always had a way of paying it forward. For that I'm so thankful. Keep doin' what you do and just being you. That's why everyone loves you. :) You keep it REAL! (Pretend like I said "REAL" super gangster... It sounds better)   01.29.13 - 9:19pm
PAPI - The latest cost of raising a child: $351,998.06. So...under my own estimation, mum and I spent $1,759,990 on you and your four siblings. Was it worth it? DUH. O, and your orthodontic treatment fees? Foggetbouteet!!!! 143.   01.29.13 - 8:20pm
Dawn Kelly - I lay awake at night worrying about losing a limb or poking my eye out too!  01.29.13 - 7:51pm
Chris - Hi there. It is so great that you are thinking of adopting! My wife and have adopted 3 kids we did foster care for. They are such great blessings from the Lord. I think it is great that you share your faith as well as your passion for photography.  01.29.13 - 7:39pm
Marcela - I love the honesty.   01.29.13 - 7:37pm
Sol - Jasmine, I am so grateful for your blog. I am always grateful for your photography, book recommendations...and always always, your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your heart. I am so excited for where you and JD are headed, and how you continue to grow! May your fears be small when you look back on them. :)  01.29.13 - 7:15pm
Alexis - Aww, sweet! You are brave for sharing your heart with the world! :) I believe you and your husband JD will make the BEST parents for your future child(ren) whether it's by way of adoption or the old fashioned way! ;) You all are in my prayers...  01.29.13 - 6:55pm
Lacey - Your love for people? Your sense of adventure and fun? That would make you a stellar mom. All the best as you make decisions. x  01.29.13 - 6:13pm
gladys - jasmine! i remember you saying a long time ago that you and jd were open to adopting. ahh! any child would be so lucky to have you as parents. you'll love him or her so much! <3  01.29.13 - 5:57pm
April Maura - The Marshall Islands are a great place to adopt from. Those islands are sinking and there is not enough food on them.   01.29.13 - 5:32pm
Jill - awww wow what an amazing time for you both! thank you so much for sharing. will be praying for you guys.  01.29.13 - 5:31pm
Meg - I'd call that Bravely Human, you're stronger than you think! And God is way bigger than we think, keep looking up! Excited to see what God has in store for you guys!  01.29.13 - 4:42pm
Jenna DeHart - I love how you put yourself out there. There are so many people who are afraid of the same, or more things. I've got your back with the decorating! I am an interior designer wanting to turn photographer. You are helping me, maybe I'll help you one day!   01.29.13 - 4:38pm
colleen - As a 56 year old woman, I understand being afraid. I had a dream to become a photographer and last year I started a small biz. You gave me that courage...and the information to get started. It was truly 99% your blog that let me move in that direction. I look at all you young beautiful photogs and feel inadequate. Believe me...your closet looks a lot better than mine. But I also worry about missing a session due to illness or not being able to do this as long as I would like. But none of us know the future so let's make a pact to not worry about all that. You have been in my prayers...I knew that you were really struggling with something...a decision of some sort. I am thrilled to hear that it is about adopting. What a great gift to give...the gift of a home, of love, of commitment, and I know that you have all that and MORE to share. God bless you and know that you have so many of us wishing you the very best!  01.29.13 - 3:53pm
Ashley Perez - I think in this day and age, it's so easy to get caught up comparing ourselves to everyone else because of so much of what we see on social media. I'm pretty sure everyone that sees how cute you are always dressed is totally jealous of your wardrobe! Myself included. And I totally appreciate your honesty in today's post. I think it's incredible that you felt brave enough to share such personal things and should you and JD decide it's the right decision for you to adopt, I think it's going to be so amazing for you!   01.29.13 - 3:19pm
Carolyn Doxie - Beautiful and honest, and so giving. Thank you for sharing yourself. You're like this sweet friend I've never met. Thanks again sweet friend.  01.29.13 - 2:50pm
Ashley Lynn - I think it's so amazing that you and JD are praying about adopting a child. You guys wold be great parents! Best of luck!  01.29.13 - 2:48pm
denise karis - Ok, I know this isn't a book post but I am reading Delirium right now. It's incredibly fearless and not just for a teen fiction novel. It makes me want to be brave for the things I love and brave for the things I am passionate about. It makes me want to relish in every day and give my all and fight for everything I care about. If you and JD want to adopt a baby, I think there is nothing more beautiful, scary, wonderful, deliriously FABULOUS than loving a child and that is totally something to be brave for. You will be SO HAPPY with him/her. :) I can't wait for you both!!! xoxoxo  01.29.13 - 2:27pm
Jen - Adoption is the greatest love story of all. It's a living example of God's grace, and how awesome of you two to open your hearts to the possibility of being a part of that. Romans 8:15. And whatever anxiety you have, if he has placed a adoption on your heart, then know that he has gone before you and made the way already. Wherever your worries are, he is ten steps ahead of you! Walk out on that faith girl!!!  01.29.13 - 1:39pm
Sheela - WHAT?! I am gobsmacked that you envy the wardrobes of others. Whenever I see pictures of you, I feel like a 100% certified hobo because you always look so fashionable and put together! And you accessorize beautifully. Hey! Maybe this means that someone out there secretly loves MY wardrobe too!!!! Thanks for your honesty. You're awesome!  01.29.13 - 1:27pm
Emma Nathews - I love your transparency. You are such an inspiration and encouragement...and really, I think we are the same person...sort of ;) Seeing that you have some of the same fears as I do lifts such a huge weight off of my shoulders and makes me feel more hopeful. I am praying for you and JD and your adoption journey. Adoption is such an amazing gift and I know if it happens for y'all, you will be amazing parents!! Huge {{HUGS}} to you, friend!!   01.29.13 - 1:14pm
Nicole - This is beautiful.  01.29.13 - 12:52pm
Eryn Kesler - Thanks for sharing your heart. As a mom of an adopted baby girl from Ethiopia...it's the most amazing/wild ride experience you can imagine. My prayers are with you as you pray about this step!  01.29.13 - 12:29pm
ali thompson - this is such a funny post but can totally relate! our fears are a funny thing...!  01.29.13 - 12:24pm
Jasmin - Love your post, your truth and your decision to adopt! You will be wonderful parents. Iknow it although I know you just from your blog. And I love hearing these kinde of news, bc Me and my husband try to get pregnant for two years now. Best decision to become a family and I love to share this experience with you soon! Thank you for your inspirational posts as ever!  01.29.13 - 12:14pm
Cezanne - Becoming a parent is a scary thing.. but the rewards surpass any fears and insecurities; I have candy in my closet and dresser drawers; I wish for everyone else's body and wardrobe; I lie in bed thinking.. do I really have to get up and out of this wonderful place?; My bedroom walls are completely empty and white as if we just moved in the night before.. and it's been almost 18 years. Thank you Jasmine for being honest and true to yourself and for blessing so many many others!  01.29.13 - 12:01pm
Maria-Ines - My dear Jasmine, u have no idea how sweet this post is. I am 'getting' to know u just now. I just stubble upon creativelive n one of the most amazing things that keeps bringing me back to it, is that it feels personal FINALLY photography that feels personal! Am trying to break into the business so aside from being very insecure myself this field does nothing for one's self esteem when our own peers look at us like we are less than them b/c w don't walk around w expensive equipment etc. And then I found u, n Sue Bryce and am just amazed by ur down to earthness! THANK U is all I can say THANK U for making us feel like ur friends, like we matter it is trully a breath of fresh air! n my hat off for being brave n sharing it with us! All the best always!   01.29.13 - 11:49am
Otto Rascon - Ha! You said "hoard." Way to keep it real.  01.29.13 - 11:44am
Emily - Thank you Jasmine for this beautiful post, and for being you!!!   01.29.13 - 11:26am
Stephanie - I've been a fan of your blog since the beginning and it is wonderful seeing how your business has evolved. But I also love that it is still a place you feel you can share personal stuff too. Deciding to have children in your life is one the scariest decisions I've ever made but also one of the best. I'm sure you will be a great mum!  01.29.13 - 11:26am
Leona Morelock - Jasmine* I'll keep you and JD in my prayers also. Me and Chad tried for 7 years to have a baby and he finally came to us through IVF on New Year's Eve! I'm trying to figure out this new mommy thing ... you will be so awesome at it! I can just imagine the pictures you'll create!!  01.29.13 - 10:57am
Dana Fiorito - Jasmine, I've often thought about how you and JD would make amazing parents. I had3 kids and was pregnant with my 4th when I came to your workshop. If you would have told my 12th grade home room teacher that I would be responsible for 4 little lives at such a young age myself she would have spit her 4 day old coffee out at you. I am the most underqualified mother there is. My kids wear torn jeans and dirty shirts to school because my eyes don't work in the morning. But I know what's real. They love me. They already love Jesus. Life is cool and crazy. We are expecting our fifth. Through adoption. It's been a long road so far and we still have a ways to go but we are so excited that God has called us to this. If you need any advice. We will be moving to Kenya in October (hopefully) and shooting weddings over there. And loving on our new baby. Holla. Praise God.Praying for you both.  01.29.13 - 10:50am
Valerie Martin - Jasmine, you are an inspiration to me in many ways. I love your upbeat attitude and uplifting posts (especially quotes from your dad) and admire your honesty (and photography!). Adoption is close to God's heart. He adopted me! You are beautiful in many ways. Saying a prayer for you today. ~Valerie  01.29.13 - 10:34am
Lindsay English - Love this! You're amazing. Thank you for being real x  01.29.13 - 10:32am
Breanne - our wedding is over and yet here i am, STILL stalking your blog ;) oh jasmine, we love you and will definitely be praying for you and jd! xo  01.29.13 - 10:27am
claudia blake - As always you touched my heart. I am an alien in this country, I moved here from Austria (Europe) 6 years ago and at times it seems you are my only friend (just kidding!)! Anyhow, I started the REstart programme with you and realized how hard it is to "put yourself out there". Even commiting to 3 simple words and letting people on fb into your world takes so much courage and self esteem it is crazy. Keep shining bright Jasmine and thanks for being so brave and awesome. You will be a terrific mother, teaching your kid how to dream!  01.29.13 - 10:15am
Lydia - I'm so excited about your possibly upcoming adoption!! It's a wonderful thing I give a child a family and a beautiful picture of the gospel and our adoption into God's family!  01.29.13 - 10:08am
Joyce - Adopting is so wonderful but if you don't mind me asking, why don't you want to have a child of your own? :) You and JD are still young. I hope there are no medical problems. I can assure you, being a new mom, there is no greater feeling than carrying a human being, giving birth and see the little one grow every minute.   01.29.13 - 10:08am
sarah danaher - I'm proud of you for being real, and thrilled to pieces for the sweet and raw bits of YOU that God is working into who you will be tomorrow. Thanks for sharing. xoxo  01.29.13 - 10:08am
Melissa S. - I love the transparency. Being real is what makes us "relatable" -- and frees others from playing the comparison game toward us. You are gorgeous and I always think how much I love *your* outfits! And I have the same thoughts about decorating...but God has given us each specific gifts and talents so that we can each make up a part of the body of Christ -- 1 Corinthians 12:14-26. In valuing that in others I plan to consult a totally gifted decorative stay at home mommy friend when I have my own place to decorate -- maybe you have a friend who would love to help you make your place your own by offering their gifts and talents? :) Praying along with you for that little one! Love and blessings!!!  01.29.13 - 10:07am
Tifani - Love your candidness--- and may I just reply that it is your closet *I* envy. Every time Mama dresses up for CreativeLive, I am like, Dang- now where am I gonna find a shirt/dress/whatever like that ?!? If you ever find yourself envying my clothes, I will swap with ya. Oh-- and I work in adoptions, so if you wanna chat.... ;) You would be a great Mom! Kids are louder than cacti.   01.29.13 - 10:07am
Alicia - Wow. Just WOW! You are such an inspiration Jasmine. Not only do you make yourself stronger by revealing your fears, but you literally help all of us think about so much and how we can face our fears too. To read about your passions, fears, loves, ALL OF IT -- it really makes you a very special person for doing so. I'm so glad I "found you." You are a gem - and definitely a STAR. Thanks so much for ALL you do. It means the world. Oh, and by the way, YOU WOULD MAKE AN ABSOLUTELY AMAZING MOTHER! Big hugs.  01.29.13 - 10:05am
Kimberley - THANK YOU for sharing those intimate fears with us! You are such an inspiraton!!   01.29.13 - 10:00am
Erica DeGrado - I'm praying for God to direct the right child to you and JD At the right time. HIS time. Having a child ( or 3 in my case) is a HUGE step and life changing. I wouldn't change the role of being a parent for ANYTHING. not even my photography... I love being a photographer and yes it takes longer to get work done .. but in the end of my day I look at each of them with the biggest smile and warmest heart. God Bless you Jasmine. I pray that God reveals himself to you in this whole process... maybe he'll bless you with a child who becomes an interior designer, fashionista or a chef!!! ..  01.29.13 - 9:54am
Kim Renee - Thank you for opening up & being so honest. It reminds us that we're all human  01.29.13 - 9:49am
Jami Clark - Little Monkey, Little Monkey!!! So exciting! I can't wait!! Much love to you both on your journey.  01.29.13 - 9:30am
Monica Justesen Photography - I've struggled with writing as honestly in my new blog as I did in my blogs from my younger years. It's tough to find a balance between being open while still maintaining a bit of personal, private part of yourself. It seems you've found a great way to do both. Thank you, as always Jasmine.  01.29.13 - 9:22am
Fran Colonna - Hoarding food is a 'growing up in a large family issue'!! If you didn't hide your favorite treats...hmmmm...they wouldn't be there when you want them. Kinda hard to break that habit!!   01.29.13 - 9:20am
Naomi - You keep it real :) beautiful news, many of us can related to. I would love to adopt too and think about it often so I understand the mix of emotions... Great post xo  01.29.13 - 9:20am
jenn - ohhh #1, you need to do a full blog post about this soon. how you came to this point/decision etc. and the rest, you are a hero for admitting all those. thank you for being so real and making us feel not alone in this journey!  01.29.13 - 9:13am
Laura Byler - Jasmine I love this :) you have given me hope and I'm happy that I'm not alone in some of these things !!   01.29.13 - 9:06am
Tammy Green - To be completely honest, your writing lately has seemed to have an undertone of something big going on in your life, something that you weren't ready to talk about. I'm no psychic, just been following your blog for a long time! I actually though you might be pregnant! Lol Congratulations on such a huge and wonderful decision; I have no doubt you and JD will give a child an incredibly beautiful life. Also, when it comes to style, please know that there are those out there who look up to you and wish for your closet! (This girl included!) And on the topic of decorating, I often joke that I have different decorating personalities. :) My point in all this is, I have found that we often think the next person has it all together, but the truth is, none of us really knows what the h*** we're doing. :)   01.29.13 - 9:06am
Haley Johnston - You are so real and raw. Every time I read your blog I am truly inspired. Any child would be blessed to have you and JD for parents!   01.29.13 - 9:05am
Colby Evans - you guys will make the best parents! your little one will brighten your lives more than you know!  01.29.13 - 9:02am
Charity - I hear you on the food, girl. If you have pretend boyfirends, mine is Alton Brown. In our pretend relationships he makes me ice creams and cake and I never say no to it. We're waiting for #2. This is our second time around. There is nothing like adoption. Nothing. When you see that child's face for the first time, you will never be the same again.   01.29.13 - 9:01am
Alyssa - I second Christina's sentiments.  01.29.13 - 9:01am
Julie Greer - One of the reasons I adore you is because you put yourself out there and make myself and I'm sure many more people feel normal! :) You will be a blessing in any child's life!   01.29.13 - 8:57am
Colby - Isn't that only four things?  01.29.13 - 8:57am
liza head - I am always amazed when you write from that honest vulnerable place. Way to be fearless! Vulnerability is what makes you relatable to so many people - it's your super power :0).   01.29.13 - 8:56am
Lily - you just made me cry. this is so real and I could so relate, especially the baby part... it is happening for me in a couple months and it scares me. j* you are amazing! I am hope that you and JD continue to live this blessed life and that everything around you falls into place. I just adore you two. hugs! lily   01.29.13 - 8:52am
Christina - I adore you... though I only know you through your blog, but I do.  01.29.13 - 8:51am
Wanda Lotus - Your child will be blessed to have you and JD in their lives. That joke about your bedroom made me laugh out loud!  01.29.13 - 8:50am
Jasmine G. - In sharing yourself you inspire others to do the same with those in their circles. It's good to let your followers see the 'intimate' side of who you are. It's what made them love following you in the 1st place. :) - the other Jasmine.  01.29.13 - 8:50am
Yasmin Sarai - You. Are. Amazing! Thank you for sharing this part of you. Praying for you and JD now. Adoption is such a beautiful thing, it makes my heart just melt <3  01.29.13 - 8:48am
Carla Bagley - 1. As a mother of 4, I will say you will be fine. I cannt keep plants alive either but your children will yell and remind you to feed them. 2. I hide food. Did I mention I have 4 children? If I didn't I would never know what chocolate tastes like:) 3. I wish for other people's wardrobe...actually I am envious of the time they can spend on themselves for shopping. 4.My house is decoarated with legoes, hockey gear and Barbies...sometimes you will unearth something that was a decoration for adults to admire...from the Dollarstore...lol I have accepted defeat long before Pinterest showed me my lack of skills. And I love how you are Jasmine Star...superstar wedding photographer and human;)  01.29.13 - 8:48am
Erica - I love how candid and wonderful you and your blog are. You truely don't know how much you are helping others out there, with photography, and life. I have to say number one on your list is amazing...making the decision to have a child, adopted or otherwise is a huge decision, and as a mother of 3, and one on the way, it is a decision to let your heart roam outside your body, and to sacrifice always for their safety, and happiness, this may seem scary, but it is amazing....  01.29.13 - 8:44am
Krrstine - I love this post! Everyone has their fears and to be open and honest open them is a courageous thing. I'm working on that too:) Love and prayers to you Jasmine and JD.   01.29.13 - 8:43am
Lisa - I LOVE that you posted this!! You are so real and honest that it makes me feel like I could stop in at your house for tea one day. Don't worry, I won't do that without an invite! LOVE that you want to adopt - it's always been on my heart, but not in the cards for us. I also wish for others' outfits. Yours is awesome and I covet the yellow ring you wore on CL haha. Use Pinterest - my house looks boring so I'm starting to gather ideas.  01.29.13 - 8:42am
Kitrin Jeffrey - If it's possible, this post made me love you that much more. That takes serious guts to tell honest details about your life. If it makes you feel better, I envy your wardrobe too, so you must be doing something right ;)   01.29.13 - 8:41am
Jennifer - I could cry with joy over the thought of that blessed baby you would adopt! What a blessing you would be to that baby and that baby for you both! (*Slightly jealous of the baby in fact!) Just kidding! My smile hurts from just the fact that you are considering this!   01.29.13 - 8:38am
Sarah - Adopting my two children was/is the single best experience of my life. Let your heart carry you through the tortuous adoption process to be the family shaped the way you want! And if you want to go back to raw blogging, the process will certainly give you plenty of material. Waiting sucks! (waiting for #3&4 right now...)  01.29.13 - 8:37am
Charisse - Sometimes when people seem above the masses, sharing a little personal...real yet personal...details about themselves make them seem more authentic. It bridges the border between unreachable you and me. Thanks for sharing. Besides, we all know that a little butterfly's in the stomach always indicates we are stretching. Thanks for sharing.   01.29.13 - 8:35am
Gaylene Erwin - You/re the coolest woman on the planet. When I grow up, I wanna be just like YOU! :)   01.29.13 - 8:34am
Cristi - i just love the way you think...the way you judge and have your own struggles, and even more the way you see thinks in the future and learn from past. May God be with you and make the big mountains of your life like a long valley!   01.29.13 - 8:27am
Paola Puerto Rico - Yayyyyy you!!!! So excited for you guys on the adoption process. I hope to read all about it!!! God bless!!  01.29.13 - 8:26am
Kaela Green - Congrats on your anticipation of adopting a baby! I'll join you in your prayers- do NOT let plant caring be a determination of the parent you'll be. I thought the same thing as I've also killed everything that once was green. I joke that I have a brown thumb. But! I have three amazing boys and they are all very alive and healthy:) Thanks for putting yourself out there.   01.29.13 - 8:24am
Leah - So excited for you...both of you will be great parents with so much love to give a child! It's an experience like no other and not to worry...you've done a wonderful job with Polo!   01.29.13 - 8:20am
Donna Dunlap - Jasmine, how inspiring is this blog post to me ? .... I can't express in words. You have that gift -- of words -- not me :) Any way, I appreciate your gift of photography too :) Keep sharing from your heart, and I'll continue to be inspired, I'm sure!!  01.29.13 - 8:18am
Janine Sept - HAHAHAHA! I can't stop laughing! I wil lthink ofter of you slamming back those cookies in the back of your mama's mini van and laugh! WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE...or at least you and I both have ;) Thanks for sharing your who you are!   01.29.13 - 8:17am
Rammal - J*, I love you no matter what anyone thinks! *hug* Keep going strong, you're amayyzing! :*  01.29.13 - 8:16am
Amy Jo - I became a new mom close to the end of 2012. All kinds of emotion come with that decision. I have had experiences in my life with adoption. My brother is adopted, and that is the coolest process. I will forever love the women who are brave enough to give up their child to give them more. They are true heroes. I KNOW you will be a great mom. That child would have a family full of the greatest thing, LOVE. P.S., I kill every plant I have ever cared for. EVERY ONE. My daughter is 5 months and thriving. Kids are totally different. :) Thanks for sharing your fears. It it always nice to connect to someone by knowing how real they really ar.   01.29.13 - 8:15am
amber johns - I never comment on blogs, but I read them.. However, when someone is vulnerable and raw - I feel compelled to do so. Thank you for sharing and God bless your journey as you look to adopt. THAT is a raw journey all on it's own. :)  01.29.13 - 8:13am
Cristal Veronica - Wow. Being vulnerable in front of an audience is the scariest of scary, but there is so much beauty in something so real. Thank you for sharing bits of your heart. xoxo  01.29.13 - 8:12am
Liz Barlak - I love you Jasmine Star!  01.29.13 - 8:10am
Jill - My husband and I adopted both of our children from Russia when they were babies - they are now 8 and 5 yrs old. It's an overwhelming, exhilarating, frustrating, unbelievably fulfilling, life changing, miracle of a process. I know how difficult it is to be in the middle of it - and I can imagine what it takes to announce it to the world ;). Just thought I'd send this to let you know you are not alone - and give you a stranger to lean on if you need it!! Jill   01.29.13 - 8:08am
Justine Cirullo - so great Jasmine! you two will make incredible parents! you're incredible and your vulnerability and humility is awe inspiring  01.29.13 - 8:08am
Britney - Beautiful post Jasmine!   01.29.13 - 8:07am
Shannon r - Jasmine! Always have loved your honesty and will join in praying for you guys about the adoption process. That will be one lucky child! :) xoxo  01.29.13 - 8:07am
Marissa Rodriguez - Jasmine!!! I love this post! Just the other day after I read your blog I thought about the exact thing...how I remember reading your blog years ago and how it's morphed into what it is today. I miss the open-ness and rawness from before but I also love what you're doing now! And I am SO SO SO excited for you and JD!!!! My eyes teared up when I read those words, you two are amazing! I've always told Eddie that if we ever start a family I'd definitely want to adopt! Gosh I'm so excited for you two I could cry!!!! XOXO  01.29.13 - 8:06am
Stacy Gendreau - Be still my excited heart, #1!!!! Above all, parenting is about teamwork (even when you are both grumpy and tired)! And you two are a team like no other with so much love to give! Majorly, majorly exciting!!   01.29.13 - 8:05am
Allie Coyle - Thanks for sharing your heart! I feel your anxiety about adopting... my husband and I lost our first baby last year (http://thecoyles.blogspot.com/search/label/judah%27s%20story) and have been trying for a year to get pregnant. We have thought about our next steps and know that there are so many deserving children who need great families. All that to say, I'll be praying for you guys! (And I'm totally with you on the clothes thing!)   01.29.13 - 8:05am
Kim Taylor Clawson - I think that it's so beautiful that you are sharing and are willing to share the little bits of your life. I think very often, photographers try to put a select view out there, as if our life is always a 'Best Of Portfolio'. It's the little insecurities, quirks, dreams, and struggles that make us better, not only as photographers but people. Thanks for pushing publish today!   01.29.13 - 8:03am
Annie - Thank you for your courage and vulnerability, Jasmine. It gives me strength.  01.29.13 - 8:02am
Jodie Lemke - Wow!!! That's exciting!!!!! I ant wait to hear more. And I think you only posted 4 things ;)  01.29.13 - 8:02am
Mariana - Mujer recuerda ..."Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you"  01.29.13 - 8:01am
Lauren - love you jasmine <3   01.29.13 - 8:00am
Susan - Jasmine, you have a beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing so honestly. None of us have it all together. I am new to your blog and I absolutely love your amazing talent and your sense of humor. You will make a great mom! And think of the gorgeous photos you will take of your children! Blessings to you, Susan  01.29.13 - 8:00am
Lena - Dear Jasmine! First off, you are an incredibly inspiring person to me, and I am sure to others. Sharing your fears with us makes you so more human and even lovelier than you already are. I am sharing your first fear with you- trying to have a baby that is, and the fear to tackle it all, being able to be a good mother, that is a heavy stone on my heart. of course, there are probably gazillions of other women that share this fear with us. Knowing that you share it with me makes my heart a little lighter today. Thank you for that! You will make it. I know that without having met you ever- because you care about people.<3 in other news: I am with you on nr 2 and 3 as well:) lots of love! hugs from the other end of the world, Lena   01.29.13 - 7:59am
Nathaly Blalock - I've been following your blog for a long time, but I never comment. I'm an almost 30 year old mother of four, have a passion for photography and have been doing it sporadically for the last 3 years. I still have a lot to learn, and my website sucks, but with 4 kids 6 and under, it's hard to dedicate time to that! Wanted to stop in to tell you I admire you on many levels. Thanks for being so generous with your knowledge and so open with your heart. You and JD would make a killer parenting team!!  01.29.13 - 7:57am
Amanda Tacie - Simply Amazing! In a world where we are all scared and fearful, and that fear at times stops us from accomplishing the things we want and to put ourselves out there, for fear of rejection, you did just that over and over again. Thank you!  01.29.13 - 7:54am
Jenni Smithberger - Jasmin, I'm sure lots of people will say its silly for you to be afraid. You are a pioneer of personality based brands and we r here as much for a piece of you as we are your talent. However I sympathize completely. I'm in my 3rd year as a photographer and all I want to be is sappy and bare my soul and gratitude towards my clients and business. I've been struggling on how much of myself to let out my heart says bare it all my head reminds me my heart and mouth often pair up to get me in trouble. Admitting fear envy and creative weakness as an artist does mean we have room to grow, but wouldn't the scarier thing to be if we didn't. Love ya Jenni  01.29.13 - 7:54am
Rachael - So, you don't know me from a hole in the wall, and since I'm a non-conformist I usually refuse to stalk your blog (cause EVERYONE else is doing it), but this one caught me :). First: you are absolutely beautiful for even thinking of adopting! It isn't for everyone, but there are so many children who need a fair chance in this world... and to be LOVED! My take is; if God led you to this decision, you are MORE than capable. Second: hiding food is probably a female trait. At least that's what I'm gonna tell myself. How else are we supposed to get our chocolate fix? For me, I have to sneak it while my kids aren't looking or they'll want to share and I'm not good at sharing my sweets. Nope! Third: Everyone has closet envy. No shame there :) Shoot, I think half of us envy your closet. Fourth: Can't decorate! Well that's a relief! Here I was thinking that because I was a photographer I should be creative enough to decorate our house like an interior designer. Looks like I'm in good company. You're a fantastic photographer and can't decorate? Sweet, maybe there is hope for me ;P. So there you go, nothing to be terrified about. Have a blessed day :)  01.29.13 - 7:54am
Sherra Gray - I have two things to say: 1) This is why you ARE who you ARE and why your fans and clients adore you. 2)I won't tell you which statement of yours this applies to, but, I'm glad I'm not the only one. :) Oh, and I cried reading this. ?  01.29.13 - 7:52am
Christy Tyler - It is SO refreshing seeing you put yourself out there again Jasmine! I really love it & think being vulnerable is an important part of growing/accepting who we are and our lives. Sending prayers right along with you about adopting! I'm blessed to be an aunt to 3 beautiful children (adopted from Ethiopia) & I can't imagine my life without them in it! xoxo  01.29.13 - 7:52am
Suzie - Hi Jasmine, I tell myself everyday that if I am comfortable I am not growing or pushing myself. It is only when I face my fears one small step at a time that I feel closer to my dreams and success. Terrified to Tell You: 1. I wish I could help my fiance pay the mortgage (and he isn't even being paid at his job right now) and I'm not profitable either. (I am five weeks into being an arbonne consultant to help my new photography biz, born nov. 20, 2012 as well as a supply teacher). I tell myself multiple times a day that I will be successful! 2. I wish I could afford paint the walls in my house. I live in a white box. I find it embarrassing to let people into my home. 3. I used to cook all the time but, I haven't made a meal in months. 4. I don't want anyone to know I have an anxiety disorder or that I was clinically depressed. I also don't want people to know I'm an emotional roller coaster. 5. I struggle with perfectionism daily. Despite all these things, in the last two month of my life I've been the happiest person and I'm trying to share it with everyone. I have big dreams to change lives through inspiring others and making them feel beautiful. Admitting our fears makes us real and shows others that someone's journey may appear simple, but everyone has struggles and hopes for something just out of reach.   01.29.13 - 7:51am
Frank Donnino - Jasmine...oh the things you are concerned about. You will make an awesome mom. I am addicted to sugar. What's the problem? You look good in anything without even trying. Your bedroom? That's easy to change. C'mon! You rock! Frank "the bald photo guy" Donnino  01.29.13 - 7:49am
Lani - I look at your blog almost every day, and while I haven't commented before, I appreciate your vulnerability! I too envy others' wardrobes - birthed from a youth of bad skin followed by years of feeling I needed to compensate for some sensed lack. I've realized no one is perfect, we all have 'something'. I recently heard Rick Warren say "We are all uniquely flawed so that God's light can shine through." Perfect is boring anyway, right? ;) Thanks again Jasmine!  01.29.13 - 7:47am
JasmineLynnPhotography - Jasmine* you are fab. xoxo  01.29.13 - 7:45am
rik - good luck with the adoption process. no matter how you come about having a child, it's a life altering experience in mostly positive ways. yes, mostly. but don't worry...all the negative ways help make you a better person, if you let them. ;) wishing all the best for you and JD  01.29.13 - 7:45am
Mandy Caudill - Thankful for your willingness to open up! I have been convicted to do more of that on my own blog!! So who knew I wasn't the only one who hid delicious snacks and girl scout cookies :) Relieved I'm not the only one!  01.29.13 - 7:45am
Ashley Williard - Thank you so much for sharing Jasmine! Praying for you and JD as you pray about expanding your family. :)  01.29.13 - 7:43am
Anita - You're human. Everybody has fears. You are just brave enough to put them out there. Good for you. Oh and I killed a cactus once too but I'm a really good mom.   01.29.13 - 7:43am
Andi Watson - Hey Jasmine, I've never commented before but my wife & I are also praying about "Fear No1". . .so you're not alone! Romans Ch8 v 25 & 28.  01.29.13 - 7:43am
Lauren Crose - This is an amazing post! I can relate in so many ways to your 5 things...; ) I now feel more inspired to go out there and accomplish my dreams. Maybe one day I too will be as well known as you are.. maybe! Until then, keep up your beautiful art, it's inspiring to little photographers like me! xoxo Lauren Crose Lauren Crose photography   01.29.13 - 7:42am
Mary Veterano - Jasmine I wish I had the courage to share myself the way that you do! Congratulations on the prospect of adopting, I think that's amazing and beautiful and am praying for you and JD! And girl, please, your wardrobe is AMAZING! I'm pretty sure all of us girls here are wishing we had YOUR wardrobe! I know I am! Thank you for sharing these little pieces of your life, it's nice to know that at our hearts we're all just normal people, who sometimes just want to hide a piece of candy for ourselves for once and who dream. :)  01.29.13 - 7:38am
Sandra Fazzino Photography - No. 1 wowed me! I prayed (still pray) for God's guidance. With unanswered hopes of having our own baba-ganoosh naturally, my 13 year old brother ended up needing to come live with us and I'm now his official guardian. I'll pray for all the women out there who want to be mothers. It is an amazingly challenging experience that, personally, keeps me close to God & his good will. (& I relate to hoarding food, too!) Xx  01.29.13 - 7:38am
Alicia Betts - ...and this is why I stalk...I mean, read your blog daily. I love how open & honest you are about your work & life. And now back to my stalking...I mean, reading. :)  01.29.13 - 7:38am
Julie - I just started my own photo blog, and I am definitely in those awkward struggles you're talking about. When I read your hilarious, inspiring and witty entries, it makes envious! I hope one day I can be a successful blog writer like you and find my voice. I did laugh at some of the things you shared, because we have those in common. I hide goodies so my boyfriend doesn't eat them all, living in chicago there's plenty of trendy people walking around, and I find myself examining and pining over peoples outfits as well as hating my own, and my way of decorating is hanging christmas lights in our bedroom, so my decoration skills are a joke as well. haha Thanks for sharing, Jasmine! :)   01.29.13 - 7:37am
Darla - Thanks for sharing your life and fears with us here on your blog. Everyday, I have to remind myself to take my fears to God first then share them with others for comfort and healing. This makes all the difference for me. Is anything impossible with God? No! From the small things like killing my precious potted plants over and over again. Yet my kids are thriving, smart and blessed despite my short comings. Thanks for your post today becasue so many of us can relate to it.   01.29.13 - 7:37am
Vonnie Perez - You are a brave woman! Putting yourself out there will also bring about questions from others. I just want to share that our family will be receiving the sacrificial gift of a baby girl through the blessing of adoption in March. My daughter has documented her journey of infertility and adoption in a blog. I'd love for you to take a peek at her blog at wheresbabymiller.com!  01.29.13 - 7:36am
Jordan Brittley - YAY!!!! I love that you guys are seeking the Lord about adopting! What a blessing :) Haha this is such a great post!!  01.29.13 - 7:34am
Whit - You are ALWAYS an inspiration Jasmine!!   01.29.13 - 7:33am
Laura - You know why I love reading your blog so much...? You speak from your heart. If you're scared, you share it. Afraid or not, you wear your heart on your sleeve. You give the feel as if we've been friends for years and we're just catching up over coffee (which would be awesome to actually do one day). I'm praying for you and JD with what life holds in your future. Adoption or not. 100lbs or 200lbs. Neiman Marcus or Walmart. Martha Stewart or Beverly Hill Billy's. You ARE such an inspiration!  01.29.13 - 7:32am
Jessica Vidmar Photography - thanks jasmine! the part about the pumpkin cookies seriously made me laugh out loud : ) only because I can all too well relate. Thanks so much for keepin it real in a world where it's hard to distinguish between reality and fantasy sometimes...  01.29.13 - 7:32am
emily ebeling - Praying for you and JD, adoption is a beautiful thing! And it will bring out a whole new side of you that you probably never knew you had- it's pretty awesome being a mom! Blessings~ Em  01.29.13 - 7:30am
Shannon - You're wonderful. I hide food too! We share 4 out of five little secrets, so just know you're not alone :-)  01.29.13 - 7:30am
Sharma Shari - All of us have fears. And what I find interesting is when we share them with someone just to find out that is the same fear. 1) I do fear about family even though we have talked about it (hubby and I)... 2) I wish for everyone else's wardrobe, including yours! I love the way you dress! 3) I love decorating but I never finish it. I have this idea of using origami cranes as a bedroom wall decor and haven't done it yet...house full of cranes though The thing is... I am glad you share them...it make me realize that it is part of the human experience and there is nothing wrong with having them...the important thing I think is to acknowledge them and move forward.... PD: you'll be a great mom...:D  01.29.13 - 7:30am
tina wiebe - dear jasmine, I can just imagine how hard this post was to write. I am the type of person who gets close to someone and then put up a wall because I am afraid to get hurt. And all those feelings are perfectly normal. I pray about having a baby all the time, I dont like any of my clothes and my house looks like someone stole all our possessions. Your incredibly talented and have a heart for helping others and that will never change no matter what life brings. :) And to be honest I am totally jealous of your outfits! :P  01.29.13 - 7:29am
Marija Kerekes - Dear Jasmine, thank you! Because you are not just a photographer , you are a great writer , motivational speaker , and im so happy for finding your blog! That I can learn , grow and just be better pearson! <3  01.29.13 - 7:29am
Lisa - See, I love posts like this. It makes me say "hey, me too!" and not feeling like such a freak. I'm a secret eater too. Sometimes if I want crap food I'll go by myself and get it, eat it alone in my car, and get rid of the evidence so my husband doesn't know because in my crazy of the moment I'm sure he'll judge me for being weak (he totally wouldn't). Luckily it happens pretty rarely now, but it's still my biggest guilty pleasure.  01.29.13 - 7:28am
Damion Hamilton - Jasmine, may I be of some encouragement to you on item number 1. Parenting is one of the biggest responsibilities but also the source of one of the greatest s joys. Do not let your plant caring skills assess the way your would care for your child ;-) Look at the love and care you and JD have for one another. The health of the marriage is directly related to how you will parent. If the marrige isn't healthy how can you expect your children to be? Either way, I believe you and JD are on a solid path. We could also look at your care and work ethic for your business. Your dedication to loving other photogs. You have a lot inside that is wonderful and plenty to give a child. Keep God at the center of it all, and you can guarantee all will be amazing, including all the "learning on the job". Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. Proud of you! Sincerely, Damion Hamilton -full time photog, husband, proud father of two daughters, 12yrs and 6yrs.   01.29.13 - 7:28am
Lisa - See, I love posts like this. It makes me say "hey, me too!" and not feeling like such a freak. I'm a secret eater too. Sometimes if I want crap food I'll go by myself and get it, eat it alone in my car, and get rid of the evidence so my husband doesn't know because in my crazy of the moment I'm sure he'll judge me for being weak (he totally wouldn't). Luckily it happens pretty rarely now, but it's still my biggest guilty pleasure.  01.29.13 - 7:28am
Kelly Rieser - How strong and brave of you to post this! You go girl! If God puts a dream in your heart, He's already given you the tools to carry it out!   01.29.13 - 7:28am
Mirelis - I feel as though this comes at the perfect time. I posted on Facebook that this is one of my struggles within my business... knowing what's enough to share and what's too personal to share and drawing the line between the two. I'm grateful that you open yourself up to us & allow for us to share with you just a little bit of ourselves.   01.29.13 - 7:28am
Melissa - Love your heart. Thanks for sharing. Praying about your child along with you. God has a perfect plan.   01.29.13 - 7:27am
Cynthia Haynes - I am in the same space where you were seven years ago; your words are like my own truth bouncing around in my head. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your (always) candid honesty. Your humour. Your wit. Your knowledge. You're a beautiful story and I enjoy reading every page.   01.29.13 - 7:27am
Leeka B. - Jasmine- you are so wonderful! You will be amazing parent! :)) Thank you for sharing!   01.29.13 - 7:26am
Dallas - Jasmine, thank you for peeling back the layers and sharing this private side of yourself with us. Sending all my most positive thoughts and excitement and support over to you and JD :)  01.29.13 - 7:26am
Megan - This is so awesome, Jasmine. I have moved away from sharing the real scary stuff on my blog too...and I miss it! Maybe this will help jump start me in that direction again. P.S. Thanks again for being so gracious and sweet at Alt Summit. It was wonderful to meet you!  01.29.13 - 7:25am
Claudia Sanches - I think this is my favorite post I've EVER read from you.   01.29.13 - 7:25am
Krys Hannum - Thank you for being so real and transparent. It has been such an personal encouragement to me as I prepare to launch my own photography business. You are amazing (and I hide food too because I don't always like to share with my kids.)   01.29.13 - 7:24am
Monica Evans - This post just makes you more amazing! I think I like you even more! Lol. I will be praying for you about adopting a child. Children are so beautiful and can give love like no other!   01.29.13 - 7:24am
amy trahant - thanks for always keeping it real, jasmine. your rawness helps me be raw. it's truly a beautiful thing. thank you.   01.29.13 - 7:24am
Marti Floyd - such a wonderful inspiration to us aspiring photographers!   01.29.13 - 7:23am
Emily Dennis - thanks for putting this out there. I'll be praying along with you. And I also envy others closets.   01.29.13 - 7:23am
Sunnie - You're amazing and it's really awesome that you are considering adopting. We have 4 adopted children (grown now). And, I pretty much could relate to all of your "confessions" that you posted! So thank you for your vunerability, it makes me feel so silly about my "fears." And, I even poked my eye "out" one time too! (See, you're not the only one! lol)   01.29.13 - 7:23am
Tara - Every post, you write what I am feeling about some aspect of my life. Your honesty inspires me  01.29.13 - 7:21am
Lydia - Great post! As a mother of an adorable 8 year old adopted child I will be in pray for you two as you explore the option of adoption. (didn't mean to rhyme there!) It was the BEST thing that could have ever happened to us. I remember the agency told us to get ready that our child that God had chosen would look like one of us. I thought... that was nice of her to say, not really believing that. Well, she was right! He looks like my husband ! It didn't matter how he came to us, he was meant to be my child. I remind my child all the time that he's in pretty good company; Moses was adopted, Esther was, and even Joseph adopted Jesus! This makes my child giggle with pride! Best wishes!!!   01.29.13 - 7:21am
Danie - Jasmine -- I have never met a plant I cannot kill, and we were terrified to get a dog for that very reason. But something great about dogs and children? They let you know when they're hungry and such. Plus there is better medical care for both. Don't worry -- plant care skills are completely unrelated to child-rearing/protecting skills.   01.29.13 - 7:21am
Laura Kelly - I love that you bared your scary thoughts on your blog! Inspiration!! I need to do more of that :) Cannot wait to find out about this next step for you and JD. Much love, xo.   01.29.13 - 7:21am
Jennifer Medeiros - Thanks so much for sharing. It helps to develop this feeling of "me too"... I will pray for you and JD. And I will share with you that I have two amazingly wonderful kids (who are still alive), but I am the black angel of death when it comes to plant life. And having kids is the hardest/scariest/best/most rewarding thing you'll ever experience. And am I a bad person for hiding food from my family? I feel so selfish, but if I don't , I'll never get to eat it. :) xo, jm  01.29.13 - 7:20am
Kiah Geleynse - Yay for thinking about adoption. It changes lives.   01.29.13 - 7:20am
Virginie - So touching and brave of you to post this. I wish you'll tame those fears . Thank you for your honesty.   01.29.13 - 7:19am
Midchael Sparks Keegan - Oops, typo on the previous comment: Michael Sparks Keegan. :)  01.29.13 - 7:19am
Lindsey McClennahan - : D one of my 2013 goals is to become a prayer warrior. I will join you and JD in prayer about the possibility of a kiddo. I know it scares you, and the plant reference you make is funny, but honestly, you cared, nurtured, grew, and loved your business. I think you have the potential to be a caring, hardworking, nurturing Mom. I'll pray that God eases your nervousness just as he eased your nervousness to quit law school and make your own path. : ) Your fears aren't silly. P.S. When/If this child comes along, I would cry tears of joy if you considered me to be your family photographer.   01.29.13 - 7:18am
Tami Paige - Jasmine...I loved this! Not just the specifics of it (which I can relate to almost all of them!!!)...but the fact that I was JUST telling someone that I miss writing about the parts of my heart with nerve endings. But you've inspired me once again...so if nothing else, thanks for that my dear! :)  01.29.13 - 7:18am
Danielle McCann - Oh, Jasmine!! You & JD would be phenomenal parents, and I know your parents would be the best grandparents. :) It's terrifying to be a parent... filled with worries and craziness every day... but in the end, it's the best thing in the whole world. Polo might not enjoy it so much at first, but I think he'd be a great brother. ;)   01.29.13 - 7:18am
Racheli - You're so sweet! we all have our "softer parts" I was scared that one of those things would be "so I decided not to share m personal life" but you totaly went the other way. THAT TAKES REAL GUTS!! I love you just the way you are. Please keep being you.. with all that comes with it :)  01.29.13 - 7:17am
Joanne Thomas - Congratulations you are normal. A lot of people have the same thoughts, desires and concerns. Just want to hug you, smile and let you be you.   01.29.13 - 7:17am
Michael Sparks Keegab - Jasmine, I am a huge fan of your work but even more so of the person that you share. This list is great and inspiring not just for it's content but for your strength in writing it. Our friends just adopted an 8 month old boy a few months ago. Bravest and most rewarding thing they ever did. Best of luck on your journey. Regards, Michael  01.29.13 - 7:17am
Jamie - Jasmine, I am THRILLED to hear you're praying about adopting!!!!! We've adopted twice, and are in the process of adopting #3. I can tell you this: This is one scary leap worth taking!! ;0) I'm an open book, and you are more than welcome to holler if you ever want candid answers from someone who's been there/done that!  01.29.13 - 7:17am
Shannon K. - Jasmine, that's huge! Having your room decorated by the Easter Bunny??? News couldn't get bigger than that ;) Of course...you must know I'm not serious. But I will be serious for just a second. A child. Lord have mercy. If you can imagine anything (or many things) in your life that you feel have blessed you in ways you never could have imagined....then multiply it times a million...you'd only then have just an *inkling* of the joy/blessing/swelling of the heart you feel when looking at your child. And yes...yes you can have a kid. Cactus shmactus.   01.29.13 - 7:16am
isabella - thank you for sharing Jasmine. I recently posted a personal post which i was TERRIFED of sharing. But the support i got from my fans was incredible.. Im very thankful that I posted it. If ever you are interested.. http://ellaphotography.ca/blog/my-struggles-with-feeling-beautiful-personal/ We are here for you.  01.29.13 - 7:16am
Susan Peden - When fear is expressed, it loses its power. Never forget that God loves us, whether we are famous or living at the Mission. HE never fails.   01.29.13 - 7:16am
Delone - You are amazing and an inspiration, just keep being you!!  01.29.13 - 7:15am
Rachel Peterson - Adopting a child. Huge but not insurmountable. I've been able to pray alongside of friends who have adopted and continue to seek out this amazing way to serve what some may say, "the least of these". I commend you for looking first to the only One who will be able to walk you through this amazing journey should that be the direction He takes your heart. Blessings on you for considering to bless another.   01.29.13 - 7:15am
A Story in Time - Lucky the kid that get you as his or her mom..  01.29.13 - 7:15am
Alli McWhinney - Jasmine, thanks for sharing! I could not agree more with the wardrobe comment!  01.29.13 - 7:14am
Sydney Paige Richardson - Adopting is something I have known I have wanted to do for most of my life. Its a huge step and its wonderful that their are people out there like you and JD that are wanting to start a family in this special way. I found a photographer in Texas who recently (well it was a 2 year process) adpoted their daughter. She has a blog dedicated to sharing her family's journey and I highly recommend you check it out. pureandlasting.com She shares videos, photos and all the feelings that come during making this decision. The good and the bad. I had tears of joy and sadness at times during reading and keeping up with blog. May God bless you on this adventure you and your family embark on. I wish you the very best.   01.29.13 - 7:14am
Stephanie Barnes - This made me laugh and cry:) Thanks for sharing!  01.29.13 - 7:13am
Sara Dalzell - Ahh Jasmine amazing news about adopting!! You should read my friends blog www.janinewalker.com - amazing photographer who has adopted 3 boys!!   01.29.13 - 7:13am
Laura Stribling - I knew this post would be about a baby! How exciting! I love the way you detail your journeys! I can't wait to read more! Best of luck to you guys!  01.29.13 - 7:13am
Kristine Lacanlale - Girl!! That's exciting news!!! I'll keep you in prayer as I come to think of it. The Lord knows what's up so no doubt He'll lead you and JD to His perfect will...may it be a little baby child joining the awesome duo!!!  01.29.13 - 7:12am
Lexi Russell - Eeeeeeps! Adopt! Adopt! Adopt! You will be so blessed by the experience from start to finish...promise! Not to mention the blessing (understatement) that you will be to your future baby! You two will be wooooonderful parents! I mean, if Polo isn't the happiest indication of your parental capabilities, then I don't know what is!?  01.29.13 - 7:11am
Becca L. - J*, you and I don't even know each other, but I feel like we're best friends. I love that you open up and share about your personal life on your blog. Not only are you an amazing photographer, but you are an incredible person!!!! If it makes you feel better, every outfit I see you wear makes me jealous that I don't have your wardrobe!  01.29.13 - 6:53am
Amy - Oh Jasmine. You are so loved. By people you don't even know. I started to tear up on the first revelation. Thank you for being transparent in a world where people are often trying to block each other out. Praying for you guys as well!! :)  01.29.13 - 6:47am
Katelyn James - awww Jas this is amazing. Wow, what a season this is for you guys!! We'll be praying for ya. That's such an exciting and yet probably terrifying thing to pray for. That would be a huge life changer....but it would also be a beautiful life changer in SO many ways!! We love you guys!   01.29.13 - 6:39am
Kayla @ Sealed With a Kay - Sometimes getting these thoughts out can be the first step to conquering your fear about them! The adoption thing is HUGE! Who wouldn't be all of those emotions you listed?! Wishing you two lots of luck with the process! I think we all have the wardrobe envy here and there- it's ok! Make mental notes and next time you're out shopping look for things to spruce up your own wardrobe! Sometimes a few new pieces could turn around a lot of different outfits! I thought your bedroom decor comment was hilarious. The picture I got in my mind made me lol!   01.29.13 - 6:36am
Jen S - I appreciate your truthfulness - by choosing to live your life out loud for the rest of us to read, you've given me the courage to pursue my own dreams. You've also taught me that it's ok to stumble along the way ... just as long as I dust myself off and keep moving forward. Thank you for being YOU.  01.29.13 - 6:32am
Stacey - I love these raw posts. It is your roots and what made us all fall madly in love with you. My family adopted my sister from Korea when she was three months old and it was such an amazing experience. So excited to hear your thoughts of adopting!   01.29.13 - 6:30am
Caudia - omg. im so happy for both of you...I hope you'll get the chance to be a mother, and Im sure you'll be a good one. I just feel bad for Polo... he'll be no more #1 :) Lot's of hugs J  01.29.13 - 6:23am
Alesa Larsen - Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing you with us. Good luck with the child decision. I think you will find that when the time comes you will be remarkably able to step up to the plate.   01.29.13 - 6:19am
Vivian - The internet can be scary and mean. So it's awesome that you're being honest and transparent. Adoption kinda rocks my socks off. It's great that you're considering it. There are so many adoptions blogs out there, have you started reading any? One of my faves is It's Almost Naptime. Btw, I can't grow a cactus either and God saw fit to give us 2 kids. The way you care for Polo makes you and JD more than qualified to be parents. But parenting is wonderful and trying and exhausting and difficult and so so worth it. It's great a thing to pursue.   01.29.13 - 6:19am
Lauren Hammond - That is SO incredibly exciting!!!! And please, can we trade wardrobes ??? Please and thank you!!! Thanks for ring vulnerable!! We love you Jasmine!!!  01.29.13 - 6:09am
Amy - Adopting our son was the hardest and BEST thing we've ever done! Also-unlike cactus', babies cry so it's kind of impossible to forget about them!  01.29.13 - 6:06am
Andrea Brewster - As far as fear #1: I hope people don't constantly hound you about "how's it goin.' We should all know by now that if there's an update, you'll share.  01.29.13 - 6:06am
Nikki - You're adopting! That is wonderful and the child will be so blessed to have you two as parents! I can't wait to do that :)   01.29.13 - 5:53am
Rahim Huda - You nothing to fear, you have given people hope to fulfil their dreams. Realise their potential. Educated and loved. You and JD will make amazing parents. We will all pray for you and JD too. X  01.29.13 - 5:51am
Todd - Adoption is an amazing thing. My wife and I have adopted two children and it really is awesome. It is not easy but if you know God is calling you to it you will never regret it and you will change lives in a way that you cannot imagine. I will be praying for you and JD as you make your decisions! Todd  01.29.13 - 5:43am
Elaine - Thank you for being open and sharing I think many of us will read this and get hung up on #1 cause wow... that is exciting and terrifying all at once. To say it is life changing is obvious but I think you would be amazing parents (and I'm an expert here, cause I met you one time at the Fix) Will be praying God leads you and JD in the right direction. XOXO p.s. I hate my wardrobe too.  01.29.13 - 5:30am
The New Diplomat's Wife - Loved reading these - it's always amazing when it turns out that people we admire have fears and habits and secrets just like everyone else (that's what makes them real people!). Saying a little prayer for you on your journey to a family, any way that you choose to make it. As someone who struggled with the decision of how i could ever be responsible for someone else for a long time, i can recognize someone who will make an amazing mother despite any doubts and i know you're one of them...any child would be blessed to have you and JD as loving (and absolutely fun) parents. Here's to your next step...  01.29.13 - 5:25am
Laura Stricklin - Wow. To open your soul like that. I will join your journey with prayer for your growing family. I can say, if you think Polo brings you joy and happiness, wait until that child smiles at you, calls you mom, touches your face. God has a plan. When it's time, the door will be open in a very obvious way! Much love to you and JD and prayers for you both! Happy Tuesday J!  01.29.13 - 5:24am
Kim - Thank you for sharing, Jasmine - especially about your plans to adopt. What wonderful, wonderful news!!!! I hope that your and JD's dream of starting a family will come true at the best of times for you both!!!! We are also in the process of trying to start a family and adoption is part of our dream. My heart is going through the same feelings as you. xx  01.29.13 - 5:20am
Candace Berry Photography - Jasmine...Thankyou for sharing this. I loved the honesty of this post....and pray God directs you as you move forward/think about adopting!. That is awesome!:)  01.29.13 - 5:17am
Candice - I just want to let you know, that I want YOUR wardrobe AND your body! I am SO SERIOUS!  01.29.13 - 4:39am
Sabrina - Wow, Jasmine. Thanks for being so real. I can't imagine putting things out there that I'm afraid to even admit to myself. Thanks for being bold... and letting your readers see not just your amazing work, but for letting us see YOU. PS - I'm super excited for the kid that will join your family... talk about being LOVED! :-)  01.29.13 - 4:39am
JudyB - Wishing you the best as you explore and pray about adopting a child.  01.29.13 - 4:32am
Christiana - I love you for this post xx  01.29.13 - 4:08am
Sara - I've been reading for years as a hobbyist...but have never commented. I needed to tell you-Jasmine-you will be an AMAZING mother. Looking from the outside and your family-you were raised with the utmost love. You and JD will do the same. I can't wait to see where your prayers bring you!  01.29.13 - 4:08am
Julian Skinner - I find it great, inspirational, and touching that you are comfortable about sharing these such intimate/personal feelings. I believe that it opens you up to show that you are a human being just like everyone else that reads your blog.   01.29.13 - 4:07am
vera - YAAAY!!! So happy for you two!!! I hope your prayers will be answered!! You will have a beautiful family!!!!  01.29.13 - 4:05am
Carlise - Thank you so much for being so open and brave!! And let me share: I also am a cactus wilter...more like cactus destroyer!! I am living proof that cacti DO NOT define us and WE can be great moms - haven't wilted or destroyed my 9 year old daughter (yet)! YOU are going to make one amazing mom!! ((HUGS))   01.29.13 - 4:02am
Sara Lando - you'll be a great mum. With all you flaws and crazy twists and insecurities. You have a great heart and that's all a kid can ask for. Good luck on your journey! (you also seem to have a great family around you, which doesn't hurt...)  01.29.13 - 3:58am
Tina - I've noticed that your blog has changed over the past few years - I still love it, but I like that you're going to be getting back to more personal posts! :)  01.29.13 - 3:39am
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