Stuck in Neutral

Dear Jasmine,
I am currently a full-time photographer working for a studio and still trying to do my photography on the side. I've been doing photography for as long as I can remember, but I feel that this is as far as I am going to make it I'M STUCK….
I started making a photography page to post my work, made an (awful) website that I STILL HATE AND CRINGE at just the thought of it. Made business cards and so on. Because I've been working for a studio going on two years I have just accepted that I have no time to really invest in my business and even if I do I'm not really sure were to start.
Truth is I own absolutely nothing when it comes to photography equipment, every single picture I've taken has been a friends camera or my Job's camera. My website is terrible can't afford to pay anyone for a design I don't do any more shoots outside of work, I am so unorganized when it comes to clients and communication. I can't ever achieve to make a proper work flow and I don't know what my brand or style is. I can't stand asking for money but I know thats what helps this business. I have no idea where to start and where to end. THIS IS KINDA MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. I was a passionate photographer once but its been so long since I've done something on my own Its kinda hard to create something new.
Sincerely,
Stuck in Neutral

Dear Stuck in Neutral,
My heart aches for you. While I could go in many different directions, I want to break your letter into two sections: 1. Business and; 2. Mindset

1. Business
What I hear you saying is you don't want to shoot for a studio, you hate your website, you don't make time to shoot on your own (in addition to not having photo gear of your own), you're disorganized, you don't have a settled workflow, and you lack a photographic style. Based on what I read, I wonder if you believe you're ready to pursue business on your own? For the past two years you've been passionate, but what have you done with your passion? Passion is important, but action (and the possibility of failure) are equally as important. You must make time for your personal photo shoots because no one else will. If you want to be a photographer, then do whatever you must to make that a reality.
I don't want to minimize your situation (I've been there…starting from scratch is ugly, painful, and hard), but at the same time, the only people who get what they want are the people who work at what they want.

2. Mindset
I want to be very honest: If you only focus what's wrong with your station in life, you'll only see what's wrong. Your letter highlighted everything you didn't have (gear, time, funds), but I want to point out some advantages. You've had two years to learn from the studio you're working in. You have your health. You've been able to borrow gear. You're a work in progress, even if you feel stuck. The minute you step back and see how much you do have, your perspective will change…and once your perspective shifts, positive energy will come your way.
Some people insist the glass is half full or half empty…heck, I'm just thankful there's a glass with something in it. When you're thankful for what you have, it multiplies.

Keep Your Head Up and Do Something Great,
j*