Finding Passion, Finding Happiness

Dear Jasmine,
I have been shooting weddings full time now for 5 years. While it was has been very successful for me thus far (booking around 25-30 weddings a year), it has also resulted in me dealing with serious anxiety and depression.

I am stressed with LOTS of stuff with this job (accounting, marketing, editing, supporting my family on an non-securable income,etc). Most recently, my biggest anxieties arise from the unpredictable nature of weddings… yet the unrealistic and extremely high expectations of brides. Although I truly give it my all with my heart, and receive positive praise for my work, I still feel like my ALL isn't good enough. I don't know whether this is the truth, or just my anxiety talking.

I know you talk often about not giving up, however when is ‘giving up' and trying something else truly the right decision? Grass might not be greener on the other side necessarily, but maybe I will get some of my life, confidence and happiness back?

Sincerely,
High Expectations + Low Emotional Returns

Dear HELER,
I want to crawl through the internet and give you a big hug. The kind that makes your lose your breath from how tightly you're being squeezed. My heart aches when someone isn't happy, so let's see if we can work through a few things…
First things first: shooting weddings is one of the hardest photographic professions one can pursue. It's not for the faint of heart, so the fact that you've hung in for five years says you're one tough cookie. To shoot 30 weddings a year is a testament to your skill, client care, and business savvy. Now take a deep breath and know you're successful and strong right where you are.

Moving on, I suspect you got into wedding photography because you like the idea of happy brides on happy days drinking champagne to make them extra happy…all while pursuing your photographic passion. What you now know is that wedding days are filled with the widest spectrum of emotional considerations, from familial resentment to wedding-day fear to absolute joy. This alone is a lot to deal with…but once you throw in skewed timelines, rain storms, drunk groomsmen, bright sun during a ceremony, the flower girl losing her shoes, the world's darkest church sanctuary, the bride staining her dress before she walks down the aisle, or a litany of other concerns, wedding photographers walk around with a lot of baggage. The stress kind, not the bags we keep our gear in.

When someone gets into wedding photography, it's hard to explain what they're in for. It's one of those trial-by-fire professions and it's definitely not for everyone. So maybe that's where you are right now. Maybe it's okay for you to take a step back and give yourself the permission to start over. You're obviously an entrepreneur so who's to say you couldn't apply yourself to another profession and be just as successful? You're the captain of your destiny, so steer the ship where you want it to go.

So what's next? It's best to take small steps as you create change in your life. Perhaps next year you don't shoot 30 weddings, but cut your work load in half. Fifteen weddings is still an amazing feat, but the extra time in your schedule can allow you to pursue something new, while still providing for your family. Give yourself a year to refocus and pursue self-discovery. Read more, exercise regularly, meditate, go on a vacation, cuddle with your kids…do anything that makes you feel the happiness you lost.

Life is too short to not pursue what you love. Really. If you don't make changes now, you'll still be in this same position next year. But it'll be worse because you'll be even more emotionally depleted. The only thing you should focus on is finding your confidence and joy again…put everything else on the back burner until you kindle the flame that will burst into a fire in your soul. Find what you're passionate about and the work will come. Again.
Shine On,
j*