09.24.08 Personal

The Surgeon

I
was thrown for a loop. As I drove to the gym, I couldn’t get my mom off my mind. I mean, she’s been in the forefront lately, but as drove along the Five Freeway, it was just too much. I yanked my phone from my gym bag and called her. And the timing was perfect. My mother informed me she was on her way to visit the surgeon to find get a second opinion about her lab results. WhaaaaaaaaaaaTTTTT?! The last five T’s left a sprinkle of saliva on the steering wheel.

I guess I had the dates mixed up. Or she refrained from telling me because of my history of worry. Or I might have a little too much on my plate to keep things straight. Whatever the case may be, we were on the same freeway about 30 miles apart. I begged her to let me go with her, but she preferred to go alone.

As I stood in the front row of my kickboxing class, I was a total wreck. My mind and body were in two different places. They jumped, I squatted. They kicked front, I kicked back. They were up, and I was down. Literally.

A few hours later, I received a call from my mother. The long story short is that the surgeon also can’t determine if it’s cancer from her biopsy, but he’s scheduled surgery to remove the lump. Then one of two things will happen: 1. If he discovers it’s cancer mid-surgery, he’ll remove both her nodules and be done with it; or 2. If he’s still not sure it’s cancer, he’ll just remove one nodule, and later remove the other if he confirms the disease.

The silver lining to this situation is that the doctor says he has everything under control. By the looks of the situation, he says she needn’t worry because it’s definitely not full-blown, uncontrollable cancer. This is good news. Yes, there’s a surgery in my mother’s future—and the possibility of chemo—but, really, the silver lining is that there’s hope. A lot of it. Hope, when combined with my faith, has always provided the fuel to move forward and be filled with peace. And this is more than I could ever ask for right now.

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Scarlett Lillian - Sooooo thrilled to hear there is hope on the horizon!! Praise Jesus!! I'm still praying for you and your mom! Hugs!  10.02.08 - 10:49am
steph - hey jasmine - i havent been to your blog in a while and was sorry to hear of your mum's continuing brushes with that C word... praise god that things are looking bright so far. my mum recently had some non-malignant growths removed so i know just how you feel hun... will pray for your family!  10.01.08 - 6:53pm
Betsy, La Vida Creations - Think I need to spend more time on the blog again. Hope this comment finds you and your family well and with more answers. We're all thinking happy thoughts and praying for you. Sending big hugs your way!  10.01.08 - 1:32pm
Apple - Let's all hope for the best.. I'll pray for you and your mom Jasmine.. Stay Strong!:)  09.30.08 - 1:09am
Grit - I am sooo glad to read this post. I know you probably think this is weird, but I got very emotional when I read your post "A lump in her throat..." I had just heard you speak in New York, and saw how emotional you got just talking about your Mom's past experiences, so reading this post was terrible. Hang in there. I just had 2 nodules removed earlier this year and everything turned out OK, so here is praying the same will come true for your Mom!  09.27.08 - 7:12pm
Kelli Eudis - My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My mom had cancer when I was younger. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger :) PS. Hello.. killer biceps in the picture of you speaking to the photography class. You seem to be such a beautiful person inside and out.   09.27.08 - 12:37am
Lydia - Still praying for you and your mom. Praise the Lord for this good news!  09.26.08 - 3:31pm
Sherry - My mother had written in her bible the phrase "Faith that is not tested cannot be trusted." Whether this is for you, your mom, or both, confess your faith to God. It will give you tremendous strength to get through this. Give your mom a huge hug for me.   09.26.08 - 12:37pm
ksenija - my heart, thoughts & prayers are with you, your Mom & your family. you are absolutely right -- there is HOPE... never stop believing!  09.26.08 - 8:58am
Julie - Sending you many prayers and positive thoughts - I have total faith your mom will be a thyroid cancer survivor like I am. :) I am sure you and your family are full of worry, I hope it will comfort you a little bit to know that if your mom's surgery is similar to what mine was like, it was not a difficult recovery at all and I have been cancer free for 10+ years. I pray that her result is not cancer, and her recovery is smooth and pain free. Hugs to both of you.  09.25.08 - 10:17pm
Natarasha N. Wright - Your family is so strong and yes there is hope. Your such an inspiration and your mom is such a fighter! I will keep you and your family in my prayers.   09.25.08 - 8:49pm
Jasmine's mom - I love and appreciate each and everyone of you!!!!!!! All of you have blown my socks off with your love and concern. How I wish I could hug and kiss you all!!!!!!!!!!   09.25.08 - 5:55pm
Patrice Nelson - That is such good news. I will continue to keep your family in my prayers.  09.25.08 - 4:48pm
Paper Monkey - That is great news. Your mom and your family will definitely be in my prayers. I wish you all the best!  09.25.08 - 3:53pm
tam - your family is in our thoughts and prayers....  09.25.08 - 3:02pm
nicole liebgott - Girl, I just love you... This is great news and your mom is going to be just fine... She seems like a beautiful woman and she has alot of prayer coming her way... God is amazing like that.. and I have faith that he will hold her hand every step of the way...Take care sweetie, Nicole  09.25.08 - 1:01pm
Rob Kemp - That is GREAT news J. We will keep you in our prayers... All of our love! Rob and Kathi  09.25.08 - 12:08pm
cassandra m - Still sending PRAYERS and LOVE to you & your family. Thanks for the update. I sense that your Mom is a very STRONG woman and clearly has the love & support of her family. best to you all...  09.25.08 - 12:07pm
beth - Sending prayers your way.  09.25.08 - 12:06pm
Ashley - I'm so glad to hear that Jasmine! The part about everything being okay in the long run that is. Faith can truly bring miracles. Hang in there!  09.25.08 - 11:55am
Nikkie T - Hey Jasmine. So I know I don't have the red phone like you, but I do have a phone and I'm on it. Luv you  09.25.08 - 11:38am
scott westerman - Hi jasmine, Im so glad that thinks are looking more positive and lets hope that the news keeps getting better and better. Your all in my thoughts. scott.  09.25.08 - 11:13am
Elisabeth - Your mom continues to be in my prayers, as do you and your family. I am truly thankful that you and your family know TRUE HOPE - the kind that only a relationship with the creator of this world and our Savior can give - and that HOPE gives peace. Hope and peace, not only for today, but for eternity. We continue to pray - I am so sorry that your mother is going down this road again and that you all are as well.  09.25.08 - 10:44am
Bryan Morris - Fuerza en estos tiempos dificiles. He never allow you more than you can bare. El senor es tu Pastor, nada te faltara.  09.25.08 - 9:34am
ohana photographers - our hearts go out to you. your mom and your family are in our prayers. we lost my grandmother monday and feel for you. we pray it's not cancer and she won't have to go through chemo. blessings jasmine.  09.25.08 - 9:16am
Cherie - Jasmine, I feel for you and your family with all of my heart. I was recently diagnosed with a thyroid nodule. I'm waiting for my surgeon to return from vacation to determine where we go from here. Lymphoma has nosed his ugly head into my family in the past, so we are a little concerned. But, I continue to hold my head high and know that whatever the result, I will be just fine. I've found that prayer helps us maintain peace of mind. Hopefully, our journeys with this frustration will make us all stronger. We continue to keep your family in our thoughts.  09.25.08 - 8:10am
Gustavo Ortega - Jasmine, The bible says that Christ took our infirmities and that by his stripes we were healed. Keep in mind that what's impossible for man, It's possible with God. Stay encouraged!!!   09.25.08 - 8:03am
Mike Moreno - Jasmine, As you know we were going thru this madness with Silvia. We are praying for your mom and your family. We love you guys.  09.25.08 - 8:03am
Melody Carpenter - God is good! Keep believing, keep trusting...still praying. :)  09.25.08 - 7:44am
Janey - Love you Jasmine... your mom is my prayers.   09.25.08 - 7:32am
Bobbie - I am glad to hear another update - it sounds pretty good really! I hope they find that it is NOT cancer and she will not have to go thru any chemo... keeping my fingers crossed!  09.25.08 - 7:04am
Erica Ferrone - crossing all of my fingers and toes that everything is going to work out. To cheer her up if there is chemo (which I'm praying there won't be), my sister and I brought in a ton of crazy wigs to the hospital when my dad went through it. We got a laugh and that's the best thing there is in that situation. Wishing your family the best.  09.25.08 - 6:26am
Mark Chambers - Prayers are so powerful, everything will be fine Jasmine, God bless you and your family. I would make sure I keep up the prayers for you!  09.25.08 - 5:54am
robin dini - thinking about you honey!  09.25.08 - 5:52am
marlene - Still praying for you and your family! God is in control!  09.25.08 - 4:29am
kymberli q. - Prayers for your family, Jasmine. God is good.  09.24.08 - 11:23pm
Will Tangorra - This is my favorite definition of hope... HOPE is the knowledge that we are being changed for the better as we trust God's promises. My prayers are with your Mom and family. And as always, thanks for being so open and honest with us! -Will  09.24.08 - 10:09pm
Bleigh - Praying for you and your family, JStar.   09.24.08 - 9:12pm
Lisa Collins. - Good luck to you and your mother. Mine had breast cancer. It is totally the scariest thing EVER... But she went and had surgery and is now a Breast Cancer Survivor. Anything can happen, and I have a feeling everything with your mom will turn out to be okay. You guys have my love. <33  09.24.08 - 8:45pm
Lisa B - Our prayers covering her surgery and your "worries"! You are correct, there is always hope!   09.24.08 - 8:30pm
Jessica Lynn - what. great. news. she, and your family, will still be in my thoughts. xo  09.24.08 - 8:29pm
Carl Reid - God is good!!!  09.24.08 - 8:28pm
Michael Juiliano - have faith. this is EXACTELY what happened to me 10 weeks. benign. it was scary but all is good now. they went in not knowing how much they were taking. took the whole thyroid because the nodules were too large to remove. i'm on synthriod for life but FEEL GREAT! lost my voice for almost 6 weeks but that is all good now too. you or your mom can contact me for support or questions any time. you are not alone.  09.24.08 - 8:28pm
nelly chung - you mom will be in our prayers.  09.24.08 - 8:21pm
kimberlee - we'll keep praying! xoxo  09.24.08 - 7:47pm
triShwong - we'll continue to stand with you in faith, believing in our God our Healer!!  09.24.08 - 7:33pm
DrewB - And BTW. It was Boston and I was right. I knew I saw Bunker Hill!  09.24.08 - 7:11pm
Trista - I know everything is going to turn out just fine..I JUST KNOW IT!!! Hugs!!!  09.24.08 - 7:11pm
DrewB - Jas, if your mom is as strong and determined as you are then I am confident she is going to be fine. You are both always in my thoughts. XOXO  09.24.08 - 7:09pm
Lauren - Good luck to your mum, my thoughts are with you!  09.24.08 - 6:35pm
Amanda - My prayers are with you. I am sure that everything will turn out alright in the end. Best of luck to you and your family!  09.24.08 - 6:33pm
Mary Marantz - Love you honey...we'll keep our prayers coming!! xoxo M:)  09.24.08 - 5:56pm
Theo T. - Hey Jasmine, I remembered how emotional you got at the Free to Succeed Tour when you spoke of your mom. I know she means the world to you and I will definitely have your mom in my prayers. We are all 'hoping' with you and for you. "Once you choose hope, anything is possible." - Christopher Reeve   09.24.08 - 5:16pm
Helgi - I am sooo in love with your style!!!!! What type of lenses do you use? you have to tell your secret! pleeeeeeeeeease :-)  09.24.08 - 4:20pm
leslie - jasmine, this is such great news. and having hope is an amazing feeling.   09.24.08 - 4:12pm
Crystal - This is such great news!! I'll keep the prayers going.  09.24.08 - 4:09pm
laurie c - jasmine I stalk you blog but rarely comment glad to hear what sounds like good news!! my dad fought cancer 16 years ago and almost died. last july we found it was back, inoperable and not treatable. they gave him 2 months but he is still here. His quality of life is far from good but he remains in good spirits. He has taught me more than I never knew about life in the past year. And how your will and God can give you time the doctors say you don't have. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. From one dauhter to another..... may the Lord give you strength and courage to walk through this journey as a family! blessings always   09.24.08 - 3:37pm
Cathy Crawley - That is good news and I'm very happy for you and your Mom. I hope the surgery goes well :)  09.24.08 - 3:25pm
Tunji - We thank God for his grace  09.24.08 - 3:15pm
Tunji - We thank God for his grace  09.24.08 - 3:14pm
Amber Paterson - We will be praying for your family and especially your mom.  09.24.08 - 3:02pm
Hanssie - Yay for good news and for God who is in control of all things. Love and prayers to you  09.24.08 - 2:27pm
Melissa - Hope is good. I hope everything turns out wonderfully for your mom. Thinking of ya!  09.24.08 - 2:06pm
Fishfgirl - Just declare victory, Our God and savor will do the rest, just declare victory in Jesus name and your mom will be heal!!!!Amen  09.24.08 - 1:37pm
missphom photography - long time stalker, first time... commenter. my heart goes out to you and your family. love.  09.24.08 - 1:29pm
tish - so very glad to hear good news today! my mom's doc just told her to forget radiation and prepare for hospice. happy to hear that your mom's doctor has hope!  09.24.08 - 1:29pm
Kathrine - I keep stalking your blog. You do amazing work! I admire the very personal stories you enter and can only wonder what it's like to have such a great relationship with your mom. I wish your mom all the best and hope your future conversations can be about the weather : ) or anything besides her illness. You both sound like amazing women!  09.24.08 - 1:13pm
Joan Solitario - Hopes and prayers for you and your family! Take care Jasmine!  09.24.08 - 1:06pm
Agnes - Things are looking great! If the surgeon is optimistic, that's a very good sign indeed. Before we know it, she'll be good as new :) It helps her a lot to know that you're there. Hang in there, J. Your mom is in my prayers.  09.24.08 - 12:48pm
Anne Nunn Photography - We will be praying for you!  09.24.08 - 12:23pm
Tanya Mills - I love the last line about hope and faith. Thanks for sharing your journey.  09.24.08 - 12:09pm
Rick Fernandez - Here's a Bible verse that came to mind after reading your post. It's found in Hebrews 11:1 (NIV): "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" God bless!   09.24.08 - 11:39am
brianna - I love Millie. And I know that I know that I know that God is going to make everything OK.  09.24.08 - 11:34am
Leah Charbonneau - Your mom and your family will continue to be in my prayers.   09.24.08 - 11:32am
Melanie - Hi Jasmine, I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.   09.24.08 - 11:20am
Jenna - Yay! There's hope and your faith will prevail! I will keep you, your Mom, and your family in my prayers. BTW, thank you for being such an inspiration and for all of your kind guided words during our one on one time of the Dallas Free to Succeed Tour.   09.24.08 - 11:15am
Celys - Hi ...I been checking your blog for the last month or so and I just wanted to say that there's nothing impossible for God and I know for sure that He's mighty to heal.I'll be praying for you and your mom as well.  09.24.08 - 11:06am
Joyce Walker - One thing I know is that God can do the impossible and I'll be praying for you and your family. He is taking care of everything and He is do the miracle in her life. My brother last week had horrible headaches and went to the doctor and it was a tumor on his brain and they were 100% sure it was cancer. We fasted and prayed and after a lot of test they don't think it's cancer anymore and they are very hopeful about it. I know the miracle already started in his life and on your mom's life too!! If you don't mind I will ask my church to be praying for her too!  09.24.08 - 10:55am
jen berry - my thoughts and prayers are with you. thank god for silver linings... i don't know you, but through your very personal postings, your kind emails and your attentiveness, i know that you are an unique and beautiful person. says ALOT about your mother. divine and special.   09.24.08 - 10:54am
jessi - Continued prayers for you and your family. I swear this is deja vu for me, we went through the same thing, step by step with my Mother in law.  09.24.08 - 10:48am
dawn davis - I've been through this with my Dad... my hero. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday for a smooth recovery and peace of mind. xoox ~ Dawn  09.24.08 - 10:40am
Jeremy - One month after we were married the same thing happened to me. It turned out to be cancer, thankfully the "light version". That was 6 years ago, and two chemo treatments later (very easy with thyroid cancer) I'm doing fine. We feel your pain and uncertainty, but she can pull through and thankfully most thyroid cancer is easy to treat. Love and prayers, J  09.24.08 - 10:33am
cristycross - hang in there girl. God is in control :)  09.24.08 - 10:23am
AbiQ - I've been checking your blog everyday hoping for news about your mom... I'm so glad it looks hopeful!   09.24.08 - 10:20am
gabriel.ryan. - hope is a pretty strong thing. and it really changes form along the way. our prayers are with you, your mom, and your whole family. we love you.  09.24.08 - 10:17am
Chung Nguyen - I hope everything works out for the best.  09.24.08 - 10:09am
brett - As always Jasmine... you know you're surrounded by friends who are praying for your mom and your family! Keep us posted and know that we're responding!  09.24.08 - 10:09am
Joanna Garcia - Hallelujah!   09.24.08 - 9:57am
Regina White - With tears in my eyes...a sigh of relief for you all. I know how much love you have for your Mom. I love mine more than anything and with my Mom diabetes, heart issues it's a struggle. I've been praying for you all and will continue. Thanks for the update.   09.24.08 - 9:57am
joyful weddings and events - I am so glad to hear about this. I have been praying for her & you too. I will continue to do so! much love!  09.24.08 - 9:54am
Cynthia - PRAISE HIM!   09.24.08 - 9:49am
jessica mccollam - So glad to hear things are looking so hopeful! I will continue to pray to make sure it stays that way!!   09.24.08 - 9:35am
Chrissy - I just wanted to let you know that it seems like you are telling the story of my Mom and her thyroid. She went in, found it was cancer, the thyroid was removed, and all is well. This was 10 years ago. She takes hormones everyday and has a scar but is living a wonderful life. Your Mom will too.   09.24.08 - 9:31am
Steve - Hey J-Star, I've been reading your happenings for a while now but haven't said much, well anything. I just wanted to say both you and your mom and JD are in my prayers. that your mom pulls through, that JD's shoulder is there when you need it (his smile too) and that you're able to focus in on Him and what you're doing (especially when you're driving!) when it's tough. You already know this, but we're all standing with you and your family. GB.   09.24.08 - 9:15am
Jordana - THRILLED to hear that there's lots and lots of hope... not just silver lining hope, but buckets and buckets of hope.   09.24.08 - 9:12am
Abra - I am SO glad that you gave us an update. I had been meaning to ask you how things were going. My mom is going in tomorrow for quadruple bypass surgery so I have been sick with worry as well. I had been hoping all is well with you and am glad that you have a stronger hope now.  09.24.08 - 9:08am
jeramy - great news! but make no mistake....god is in control! i know you know that... "There has never been anything false about hope"  09.24.08 - 9:07am
Brittany Dawson - Jasmine- At my home church in Austin, we have prayer groups. Your family, of course, has been in my prayer group for the last month, however your Mom's story and the huge amount of faith your family has, has now trickled around all the other groups and she now has over 100 prayer groups praying for her daily/weekly. From just reading your story, it's amazing what a little prayer can do to a life! We all have the faith your Momma will be better than fine! Take care.  09.24.08 - 8:51am
Tanya Jose - I am glad that it is controlled & that your Mom is so on top of all of her medical needs. My mom prefers to keep us all in the dark about it, so we NEVER let her go alone anymore. I know everything will be great with your Mom. Lots of love your way!!  09.24.08 - 8:50am
Stacy Cross - Awesome. Still praying for her.  09.24.08 - 8:48am
Tira J - I have hope as well. Today, I am going to a surgeon to get my first opinion of some cysts in the places where women fear the worst!!! We will continue to pray for Millie, and I ask for prayers as well, sorry if that sounds selfish, but I know that a lot of the readers of this blog are believers. HE is the healer and miracle worker in all of our lives. We love you J*!!  09.24.08 - 8:38am
Dawn Beirnes - great news! That made MY week, so I can only imagine how you and your family are feeling right now.  09.24.08 - 8:36am
Ayeshaa - Such great news. God is faithful and I believe he will answer your prayers and all of us who are praying for her :) God Bless!  09.24.08 - 8:30am
Amanda Key - Wonderful news! My thoughts and prayers are with your mom and your family---  09.24.08 - 8:30am
Glenda - Hope and Faith! Still praying for you all *J* Ü  09.24.08 - 8:11am
Susan P. - Praise the Lord for her good report! And bless you and your family for the hope and faith you cling to during this time. My prayers are with you all!  09.24.08 - 8:11am
Katie Slater - So great to hear an update, my prayers go out to your mom and your family! I hope it consoles her to know that she has a huge network of people rooting for her!! Win J*'s Mom!!  09.24.08 - 8:07am
Wilson - Amen! ... still praying for your mom!  09.24.08 - 8:00am
chris - great news j*!   09.24.08 - 8:00am
Starry-Eyed Barefoot Bride - I was going to start this with "If it makes you feel better" but really, it wont. Just something else for you to know. My mother has been through this exact same thing where a biopsy can't confirm or deny, and then she has a lumpectomy, and each time its turned out negative. Did I mention she's had this done 6 times that I know of? We never got told about any of this until after the fact so we weren't worrying. I am sure the grass is always greener, but I feel like I'd rather know. Anyway - your mom is in my prayers.  09.24.08 - 7:58am
courtney - my prayers go out to you and your mom but i'm definitely happy to hear that the Dr. feels everything is under control! Thats wonderful news! keep your head up :)  09.24.08 - 7:58am
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