11.30.09 Personal

Kisses and Disses : Brushes + Cyber Monday

I
really wasn't the kind of kid I'd want to raise. I needed to know the why in every situation, spoke to adults as if they were my peers, and challenged anyone if I felt they were wrong. This included teachers, Sunday School leaders, and coaches. When I think back to childhood, I can't help but wonder why someone just didn't slap me. Everyday.

Actually, one Sunday morning when my mother was brushing my hair, I asked her why I needed my hair brushed. Why I had to brush my teeth for that matter. Who invented brushes anyway? Why was the brush invented? Why were so many bristles used? After the hundredth question, and the unacceptance of my mother's answers, she got the brush and hit me in the head with it. Hard. I jumped up from the edge of the toilet seat I sat on and told her she was the worst mother ever.

That was when it happened. My mother became a raging bull. I ran from her grasp...right through the front door. And she chased me right through the front door. Two houses down, my mother realized she was barefoot, running after an 8 year old, and wildly waving a brush. She stopped in tracks, gave me a look that said BEWARE OF MY WRATH, CHILD, and calmly walked back indoors.

I don't know why I woke up this morning and thought of this story. Perhaps because I realized my hair needs to be brushed. My teeth need to be brushed as well for that matter. Who invented brushes anyway? Why was the brush invented? Why were so many bristled used?


This week's DISSES go to:
*Brushes. For obvious reasons.
*The cracked LCD screen on my camera. Ugh. I cracked it on Thanksgiving and seriously thought I was going to die. Big diss to my stupidity.
*Turkey. It's the ugliest bird and smells strange when cooked. Seriously, it does.


This week's KISSES go to:
*Ugg boots. I know there are plenty of people who hate these boots, but every fall I bring them out and my feet rejoice in their shearling bliss.
*The holidays. Christmas carols at the dentist office? Red cups at Starbucks? My credit line being increased? Why, yes, holiday cheer is all around!
*Bittersweet Memories Cookbook. I recently received an email from my past bride, Emily Hoffman, and she invited me to submit a recipe for a project she's working on: A cookbook filled with food related memories of people who've left their lasting memories in our hearts and bellies. Emily's mother lost her battle to cancer, but she left Emily with recipes to keep her legacy alive...Emily is now taking submissions for recipes from our loved ones and I suspect the book will be nothing short of amazing! If you'd like to submit a recipe, please visit the website to do so!
*And a bonus kiss goes to Cyber Monday. I really don't know what it is, but it sounds cool.

Happy Cyber Monday, Internet!
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simply modern weddings - i am laughing my booty off at this brush story! you are too crazy! p.s. i LOVE uggs too...i don't care what people say!  12.02.09 - 12:05pm
terri zollinger - the brush story is soooo my daughter and i !! i was cracking up .and Uggs are the BEST !! thanks for sharing and for the smile.  12.02.09 - 11:10am
Synda - Funny...I was reading and thinking, wow...my daughter is a little Jasmine. She is just like you described yourself as a child. She is curious and strong willed which is hard for me sometimes but I know she will grow up to be a very cool, strong woman...just like you. She also LOVES her Uggs.  12.02.09 - 5:31am
arielle joy - You had me ROFL with the brush story. I was just like that as a kiddo.  12.01.09 - 10:13pm
cassandra m - LOL...this made me remember my Mom brushing my hair so hard there were tears in my eyes...I always had the most tangles from running, but refused to cut my hair short. :))  12.01.09 - 8:03pm
Rachel - Jasmine, I read your blog everyday from Google reader so I don't ever post comments, but I just had to let you know that today you really did make me laugh out loud! The thought of your mother with the hairbrush just cracked me up. Especially since I'm dealing with a three year old with lots of questions. Thanks for all the smiles you give me throughout the weeks, but especially today.  12.01.09 - 1:20pm
Lauryn Galloway - My friends little girl doesnt like brushing her teeth either. She is three and one night she said to her mom," Mrs. So and So(her preschool teacher) said that my teeth are going to fall out anyway." HA. Can you imagine?  12.01.09 - 12:52pm
Elisabeth - Totally agree with you on the Uggs! :-)  12.01.09 - 11:26am
amanda thiessen - oh brushes, you are so painful!  12.01.09 - 10:49am
Frances - LOL!! I was the same way as a kid. Come to think of it, I'm still as inquisitive as ever but now my poor husband has to deal with all my questions.   12.01.09 - 6:32am
Trazanne Norwood - This brought back such a rush of memories from my childhood, I nearly cried. Well every morning was a crying & screaming match when my mum brushed my hair anyway. I constantly got taps on the head. Maybe its a photographer thing as I was a "why" child also. Your blog always rocks! Tz  12.01.09 - 4:14am
Events by Evonne - I love my UGG boots too! Can' wear them here on Maui, but I can't wait to pack them with me when I head out to San Francisco and Toronto to visit family next month! :)  12.01.09 - 2:58am
Sarina Love - funny...i never even heard of cyber monday until today. I wonder who coined that term?! Great kiss and diss!!  12.01.09 - 2:06am
Cristina - I subscribe to the `Turkey` part. I never understood it why americans cook with so joy on their faces that bird on thanksgiving. I am European, Eastern European to be more exact, and here, they cook pork on Christmas and lamb on Easter. As for me, I think that there is no blessed bird like the chicken, cuz` it tastes great and I love UGG too, in this world, there aren`t any goodlooking, comfortable boots than UGG. on my Honour! Sorry for your LCD, you will fix that soon. Bye  12.01.09 - 1:14am
Brian Fletcher - In regards to UGG boots: as a man, I must say there is nothing hotter than UGG boots on a girl in jeans! :)  11.30.09 - 10:33pm
Chris c. - Uggs...my new love : ) I was not an Uggs girl before 2 months ago. I'm not trendy enough to wear what the 'youngsters' wear. Besides, they look like house shoes. UNTIL, my aunt introduced me to them. O...do they FEEEEL good. After trying them on, I had to have a pair. Thankfully, they now have dressier kinds that actually look like 'going out' shoes. Worth every penny!  11.30.09 - 8:14pm
Allison - I can't agree more, Uggs are strait from heaven!! Cozy goodness that keep my feet warm and happy all winter!  11.30.09 - 8:13pm
Lydia - Kisses to boots in general and Black Friday which makes them affordable!  11.30.09 - 8:10pm
Leyla - Oh Jasmine... you always manage to make me laugh! I love the story, and the reason for you being as cool as you are today, is because you were a curious kid, which is awesome in my books. Your poor mommy was probably just having a bad day... lol And as for Uggs, I love them too! I don't care who says what, they are the comfiest and warmest things ever, and I'm not giving mine up.. EVER! ;)  11.30.09 - 5:56pm
s h e r r y - Haha, I love how curious you were/are about brushes. I'd say GOOGLE will yield the answer... Maybe.   11.30.09 - 5:34pm
Rose - Ugh. No Uggs here. I'm a Harley Davidson boot girl, like you, I love when Fall arrives and I get to wear my Harley boots. And if you saw me, you would probably never peg me as a Harley Davidson boot wearing kinda girl. But I admit, they aren't as light and cozy as Uggs - some day maybe Uggs... Love the cookbook idea, lost my mom to cancer and I still love her recipes.   11.30.09 - 4:58pm
Vanessa Tuau - It seems like only yesterday I cracked my daughter, Cindy on the head with a brush. Brings back memories :)   11.30.09 - 4:56pm
Cathy Crawley - Your love for the Ugg boot is just another reason why us Australians and Kiwis will embrace you with open arms, you know we've been wearing them for decades! As for the Chinese torture of asking 100+ questions in the space of 5 minutes I can relate to your poor mother and I would have found myself chasing you down the street with a brush in my hand too! I might put you in the car with my 4yo for 10 minutes when you visit as payback ;)   11.30.09 - 2:48pm
feuz - The only spanking I ever really got from my mom was when I let the little rich neighbor girl cut my piggy take, my mom was so mad and angry, she made me eat hair, no lie, I will never forget that day, lol and then I spend the next 10 years looking like a boy, those and the teen years were ugly years then she became a hair salon owner and now takes care of my hair every week but yeah I dont really use brushes :-)  11.30.09 - 2:46pm
Nena - I was soooo one of those kids! Maybe that's why I like you so much! We'd be friends! =-)  11.30.09 - 2:21pm
Raquel Guerra - J* did you see the sales on the apple store handbags for the new macbook pro's? Only today on cyber Monday :)  11.30.09 - 2:19pm
alex.kruk - I am so sorry for your camera, I don't like turkey and I think it smells too ! I don't know how many years already I want ugg boots and for some reason I always quit...maybe this year . Christmas should get a big kiss all along with christmas lights which my kids ( and me ) love so much !  11.30.09 - 1:51pm
Bree - I cracked the LCD screen on my Sony P&S a couple years back and cried. Proof in the link...  11.30.09 - 1:45pm
Emily Hoffman - Jasmine Star!! You are the absolute best. D.J. and I love you dearly!  11.30.09 - 1:25pm
Becka @Studio222 Photography - I think I'm putting Cyber Monday in the diss category today. I couldn't find any worthwhile deals. Tragic. ;)  11.30.09 - 12:53pm
Molly W. - I just bought Ugg boots and it may have been the smartest thing I've ever done. AND, my 5D M II fell out of my car and onto the sidewalk the other day -OUCH!!!!!!!!!! I'm still recovering. Sigh, I feel pretty stupid.  11.30.09 - 11:23am
Michelle O - You had me smiling the whole way through! So funny...and yes, the Holidays...pure bliss!  11.30.09 - 11:11am
Mariana Maya - OMG! & I thought I was the only child who got smacked for asking "Why?" so much. Seriously and for answering "What?" as annoyed as could be to my grandmother upon being called in lieu of "mande usted (literal translation- demand upon me). Because if I answered "Mande usted" I would be given a laundry list of things to do ;-) Ahhh the good old days of being a kid.   11.30.09 - 10:21am
Otto Rascon - Parents are the best for putting up with such strong willed kids. I am living through it right now with my 2 year old. And sorry about your LCD screen. Dang, that really stinks. Rock on!  11.30.09 - 10:18am
Josiah Tam - The minute I saw the red cups appear at Starbucks this year I got a perma-smile :)   11.30.09 - 10:18am
B - Dear Jasmine, thank you for making me look like the perfect child. Compared to you, Mom and Dad thought I was Mother Theresa :)  11.30.09 - 9:11am
LEOLAK - LOL! Thanks for sharing your memories...that was cute. I'm with you on this whole brushes thing! Sorry about your cracked screen...bummer. Hope you had a great holiday! Your blog ROCKS!  11.30.09 - 8:59am
Diandra - Oh my gosh! I WAS THAT KID! Only I dont think it ever got to the place of my mother running barefoot down the street after me with a hair brush... but maybe I've just blocked those memories out of my head :) Good thing you turned out so well!   11.30.09 - 8:57am
jamie delaine - i want to kiss ugg boots too. so great.  11.30.09 - 8:31am
Tina - That is sooo me too! One of my teachers in high school said my senior quote should be WHY? I could understand hard stuff but easy stuff, always Why?? We are truthseekers :) But gotten better at just letting it be with age. But watch out you will spawn a child just like you. My daughter drives me nuts with her whys but some are very intuitive! She asked for a popsicle for breakfast and I said NO. She says Why? And adds "You know it is just made out of water". Seriously?? All my kid talk.....will you and JD just have a baby already :)  11.30.09 - 8:18am
Jennifer O. - Man, I'm not a huge fan of the way Uggs look but they sure are comfortable! Now to convince my husband that they are worth the money! Do they come in men's so he can experience this joy?!  11.30.09 - 8:05am
Lacey Reimann - Jasmine, I was the same child! Now I have one of my own. Be warned! :- )   11.30.09 - 7:39am
Los - Love the cookbook idea  11.30.09 - 7:14am
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