The Value of Soap Operas

esterday I sat at my desk and spoke into the phone while JD sat on the floor typing away at his computer. That's when it happened. The quiver in my voice, the sting in my eyes. My nose turns red right before I'm going to cry, it's a dead giveaway. There I sat like Rudolph the Reindeer and tried to keep my ish together. I thanked the guy on the other end of the phone for his time and hung up.

I leaned my head back on my chair and fought the tears. I was fine until JD reached up from the floor and touched my hand. Much like touching a full sponge, I leaked. As the tears fell, he promised everything was going to be okay. Not like all dramatic and soap opera-ish (cue the soft lights, the stringed music and please throw in a line that starts with By God I shall never leave you...). It was more like we've been here before.

It's just that I feel lost and I don't know how to connect the dots, I said.

JD and I are working on a new project and for the first time in a long time, I feel like my world is rocked. Strangely enough, this is how I started my photography business. And I'm feeling quite the same way. Lost, frustrated, worried, overwhelmed. I'm posting this blog entry because I want to remember. Remember the emotion that comes with risk and being on the cusp of success. Or failure. Oh that blurry line I so strongly detest.

I know there might be a few others who know how I'm feeling right now. Oh, Internet, I get you. I tangibly know the feelings of frustration and worry ... but I also know the emotion that accompanies risk: joy, excitement, and fear. I hope this post makes you feel less alone. Or, really, makes me feel less alone. Because if I was totally being honest, all I really want is for a random blog reader to find me in the street today and say By God I shall never leave you...

I kid, Internet, I kid.

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Dillon Driscoll - <3 J* you are the sweetest most inspiring person in my Life right now. Thank you so much for sharing these.   07.10.14 - 2:21pm
B - ..amen sister, amen. And, I would liike to say you're not alone, but it seems everyone else has said it already!! and i don't so much want to sound like the bad end of a broken record, but its true, ya know.. and if it matters, By God, J*, I will never leave you. (lol) I really hope you're not scared by all my professed confessions of love and never leaving you. I am not the face (or voice) of a potential stalker. lol  03.03.10 - 12:11am
Brittney - Thank you for this post... I read it a few weeks ago, but came back to it now, because it totally relates to me more... now. I'm starting my photography business and just like you said "It's just that I feel lost and I don't know how to connect the dots" it's EXACTLY how I feel! It's all so scary and freeing. The unknown. How do I know what's next? This week has been a WEEK for sure... crying almost every day! I definitely had the rudolph nose! getting my feelings hurt when the other person doesn't even know... so, thank you so much for this post and for all you say and do! Sometimes I feel like I'm in way over my head... but it's what I love! Thank you for making me feel less alone!  02.11.10 - 1:26pm
Leyla - You are most certainly NOT alone! And believe me, you have come a long way, but truly, this is only the beginning. Wishing you much strength & sending you positive vibes to face whatever new project you are taking on! xoxo  02.04.10 - 9:37am
Amanda B. Young - Thank you for always speaking on a level that we can all relate to. For always being so humble. When I read your blog I always feel like we are friends and you've just sent me an e-mail. I get excited to see you've posted just like I would if it were an e-mail. I think this is what sets you apart from so many other photographers. Not only do you have an art and are ridiculously talented and capable at it, but you are humble in doing so. You talk about personal things. You seem so personable. So relatable. And today, well, you've hit a chord - obviously with a lot more than just me. Just remember  everyone goes through this and it is, in fact, this struggle that makes you emerge stronger on the other side. xxox.   02.04.10 - 6:51am
Jaclyne - Heavenly Blooms - Oh Jasmine, you are so not alone. I have been struggling since Lara Casey's workshop. It is hard out there and it makes you forget sometimes how far you have come. Sending you hugs and warm thoughts. You are Jasmine* and you will rock whatever project it is you are working on. And if I had your address, I would send you a huge arrangement of flowers to brighten your day...xo  02.03.10 - 2:36pm
Rebekah Towers - I soooooo completely understand Jasmine! Thanks so much for wearing your heart on your sleeve. I am trying so hard to figure out ways to express myself and you always to so well at it. :) Best of luck to you are such an inspiration. :)  02.03.10 - 10:22am
Coriann - We are not on the street...but by God I shall never leave you.  02.02.10 - 1:07pm
Addie - I am so, so feeling you....  02.02.10 - 10:54am
Betsy, la Vida - I think you just received about 150 virtual bear hugs!! Keep your chin up and keep looking ahead because that's where you're going. I know that feeling that you have, though. I've felt its compression on my chest, making it hard to least you have JD by your side there keep you balanced. I know I'm thankful that Jeff brings me that too!!  02.02.10 - 10:19am
Signature Events by Tania Aguayo - YOU TOO?!??!?!?!?!!? My dots are so spread out- I can't even see some of them. But I am always hopeful. A while back, a college friend of mine told me if you are not scared to try something new, then you shouldn't do it. Cuz in the end, you will never learn anything from it. So take the reigns back and keep your chin up. Those dots will get closer... promise.  02.02.10 - 10:07am
Ashley Sellers - "This thing is from me" (1 Kings 12:24) My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread. It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your inmost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head. This thing is from Me.  02.02.10 - 9:47am
Carrie - I found your blog the day after I had surgery and I was high on pain killers. Granted, everything seemed extra good that day. But even after the drugs wore off, I kept coming to your blog. And basically what I'm getting at is that you're stuck with me for good... Or, I guess, I'm stuck with you. But in all seriousness, thanks for sharing your vulnerability, Jasmine. Knowing that such an amazingly talented and successful artist such as yourself feels anxious and fearful helps me feel so much more hopeful in my times of the same. I'm praying that you grow even stronger through your rough times. God bless you!  02.02.10 - 8:41am
Emily - Thank you so much for such an honest post! I'm feeling much the same way as I am just starting my photography business and to hear someone such as yourself having these same feelings/emotions/ is comforting knowing I'm not alone!  02.02.10 - 7:55am
kristen holly - Oh Jas, we'll never leave you! <3 In honesty, I nearly teared up reading this. We all have fears, worries, and bouts of intolerable self-consciousness. You'll get through this, and I have a feeling it'll be amazing, whatever it is. Much love, K  02.01.10 - 5:07pm
Nina - thank you for this post and for your honesty. i've been feeling the same way...i call it my holly golightly reds. just trying to figure out which way is up has been such a struggle. but i know i gotta stay positive and keep on truckin.  02.01.10 - 4:33pm
julie whitlock - I hear you sister  02.01.10 - 8:29am
anda - awesome post.  02.01.10 - 5:46am
sharon snow - please hold you head up Jasmine, let the tears flow but stay strong honey. YOU are MY inspiration, as you are to millions of others, and we are here for you, as you are for us (unknowingly). Thank you for posting from your heart and letting the vulnerability flow, it reminds US that we are not alone, and neither are you. (((hugs)))   01.31.10 - 6:57pm
Greer Rivera - I have a mantra "Failure is not an option" whenever I think what I'm doing might be a little too big for me right now. It always helps to encourage me a little. Can't wait to see what you have in the works! :)   01.31.10 - 10:42am
Patti McDougall - A very wise man one day said to me "It is what it is" You can do your best and after that just let it happen!  01.31.10 - 7:47am
Shannon Rosan - Don't give up!!! I am right there with you (as are so many who read your blog) who walk the blurry line of success and failure with their business. You are such an inspiration and I admire your strength. BIG HUG!  01.30.10 - 7:48pm
Khedra - So there. So there, Ms.Jasmine!  01.30.10 - 5:21pm
arielle joy - I appreciate your honesty so much Jasmine, thanks for sharing! You are in my prayers and I'm sending a big hug your way girl!  01.30.10 - 2:25pm
Kristen Dawn - I think we all want to know what the project is!!!  01.30.10 - 1:43pm
corey - J, I feel you on connecting the dots Im faced with some of the similar scenarios I want so bad to leave the newspaper to devote more time to going fulltime and making it and being successful but its such a big risk then i look at people like u and others in this industry and say if they can do it I can as well! Im hoping one day all of my dots will connect and everything will fall in place C  01.30.10 - 11:12am
terri zollinger - thank you for sharing such a vital part of success ! the risk taking, the unknown, the hard work , the dedication, sacrifice of time, etc.... because we all want to get to that point of excitement and joy !! you have carried yourself there once and how exciting and rewarding for you to make that climb again !! i am on my first climb of starting my business and it is all that you have mentioned of where you were in the beginning ... i am so encouraged by your words today to keep pushing through to that next level and keep climbing ! it feels so incredible to be soooo passionate about something as i am with my business !! it found me and is taking me on the ride of a lifetime ;) i am so enjoying it and i thank-you (and jd) for giving such encouragement and knowledge to all of us who are where you were once were. keep climbing jasmine !!   01.30.10 - 9:45am
Stacey - I have learned to take the bad with the good. Though disappointed, it's the things that I DO have that make he happy. Besides, there's a reason for everything. Perhaps something even greater than this is out there and going to happen for you. I believe it! :) Chin up, beautiful.   01.30.10 - 9:24am
Deanna Keese - Curious minds want to know! That post just left me hanging like a soap would! ugh...tune in next week.... LOL   01.30.10 - 9:03am
Tasha Prescott - Jasmine, We must have had the same moment. I've been fasting all month long and praying and when what I was expecting to come did not, in fact, I was worst off than before the fast for a moment. I was defeated, but just for a moment. Just know when things don't go as we hope or plan, it's always because GOD has something bigger and better in store... and so I checked my email and I'm shooting my first Destination wedding in Jamaica! There is something coming your way, I just can't wait to read about it, so I can say see... He had better in store for you! Be blessed, and thanks for reminding me ... we're never alone in our trials.   01.30.10 - 8:52am
Tacey - First, let me tell you I met Becker in Vancouver two days ago, and when discussing 'nailing' the deal, a participant asked 'what would be a reason for you NOT getting the wedding?' and he simply said, 'If they met Jasmine first'. You are beyond special..You've brought me so much encouragement in my first 8 months of this incredible business...If I could hug you and look you in the eye and tell you everything will be alright...I would. But, I can't...So consider yourself hugged and heard. We love you girl!  01.30.10 - 8:41am
Emily - Hey Jasmine! I found your blog through your sister's blog, and I love it so much - this is my first time commenting, but I've been reading for a while and think the blog is really lovely. I just arrived in Eastern Europe for study abroad, and I am definitely feeling ALL of those emotions (plus very cold!) Thanks for your honesty, humor and faith - right now I'm working on taking Dory's quote from Finding Nemo ("Just keep swimming") to heart!  01.30.10 - 7:24am
Sansaara Photography - Your photos, your stories, the sheer emotion you put into your work reflects how passion, faith and hard work HAVE to turn into success... You are living proof of someone who started with a dream and turned it into reality ... and wow what a reality it is ! You are quite an inspiration ... don't worry, everything will be fine because you still have your loyal fans :)   01.30.10 - 6:36am
Mindy M - omg, jasmine.. i totally get this post. and if i saw you on the street... i'd just hand you a sponge. =)  01.30.10 - 6:19am
Kristen Mallory - Oh Jasmine! You are always successful at everything you do. Just the fact that you are venturing out and taking risks means you've succeeded already. Those dots will connect....sooner or later. Hang in there girl!  01.30.10 - 6:10am
Angel Pope - There's nothing better at times like this than a cute little white dog! Or JD, maybe. ;-) I hope this comment finds you feeling much better. The calm after the storm of emotions. Something like that. Be blessed.  01.30.10 - 4:07am
Elizabeth - your post was amazing Jasmine. I am going through some professional turmoil and your post just about sums up how I feel....scared, nervous, excited...I hope whatever you are doing and whatever I plan will be a great success.  01.30.10 - 2:52am
Tara Aherne - A successful Irish entrepreneur was asked in an interview recently what drives him to succeed and he answered "Insecurity".  01.30.10 - 1:52am
Christina P. - Remember.... God is not a God of Fear, he will see you through it. Keep the Faith!  01.30.10 - 12:24am
Prix Photographe Mariage - Those are truly awesome photographs......  01.29.10 - 10:28pm
Christy O - Jasmin(sita) You are a star, remember? The sky is the limit. We all hit those moments when we feel like we've hit a brick wall. It is are a fighter and I know you will overcome this "bump". Life isn't always easy. Just remember the things that matter the most in our lives. You are so blessed with a loving family, husband and many talents. Tomorrow is a new day and I know you will overcome this challenge you are faced with. Much love, Christy O.  01.29.10 - 10:28pm
Alisa Greig - I love this about you--that you're so open and honest. And I love that you are recording your emotions here and now so that when this project takes off like it will, you can remember how it all started--thank you Jasmine :)  01.29.10 - 10:21pm
Rory Mole - Hi there again Jasmine, There is no-one who I know, who does not have challenges in this life. It is so easy to walk by faith when everything is going as planned, when there's lots of money in the bank and the birds are chirping in the trees. One thing I know is that we were created to be water walkers. The most important thing to remember is that you are never alone. When there is no-one out there who would come over and give us a pat on the back and say, "Don't worry, I'm here....", this is where you will continue to lean on the One who will never leave you or ever forsake you. Hang in there Jasmine, it will soon pass.....  01.29.10 - 9:41pm
Noa - Jasmine* - I truly appreciate your sincerity. For those of us looking to risk everything to pursue our passions, sometimes its encouraging to learn that even those who are successful face the same challenges and fears. Thanks for keeping it real, girl!!! xoxo Noa  01.29.10 - 8:33pm
Lindy - Keep believing, keep hoping, keep dreaming. God will provide your every need. And the beautiful thing about Him is He goes beyond our expectation and provides your every desire as well. God Bless.   01.29.10 - 8:17pm
Apple - By God I shall never leave you!;) you know we got your back as we know you've always got ours Jaz!<3  01.29.10 - 7:39pm
Apple - By God I shall never leave you!;) you know we got your back as we know you've always got ours Jaz!<3  01.29.10 - 7:39pm
Mishelle L. - This post spoke to me louder than most. Joy, excitement, fear.... all of those same emotions are running through my head too. Thank you so much for putting into words emotions that are tough to put into words!  01.29.10 - 7:12pm
feuza - I am so excited about this other project, and I so can not wait to know what it is, lol, if this is the feeling you got when you started photography then this new project is bound for success, God Bless you  01.29.10 - 6:58pm
Kelly Marie - I read but never comment. I am not a photographer. I just like pretty pictures. But I am an artist, and I am diving in head first to a huge new venture too. Just 30 minutes ago I was in a complete freak out. It amazing how strangers can connect over the internet. So it looks like neither one of us is alone. I wish you all good and happy things!  01.29.10 - 6:42pm
brittany Bell - Praying for comfort and peace for you.. Seek his face and his will, will be yours. :)  01.29.10 - 5:37pm
Linda Sherrill - Jeremiah 29:11 That's all I've got to say...  01.29.10 - 4:59pm
Julie K. - Jasmine, dear sweet, talented Jasmine. The Lord is with you and will always be with you. I found you a few months ago on a friends blog and you bring joy to my day, everyday. When I get to work, and the world of stress comes in, so I look at your blog to see life captured in its fullest. It reminds me that there is beauty and good in this world. Trust Him and everything else will come with ease.   01.29.10 - 4:55pm
Bobbie Brown - Hang in there! Whatever it may be I am sure it will bring great things... and if not, well at least you tried!   01.29.10 - 4:54pm
ajira - By God, I shall never leave you! :-) Oh, I know what you're talking about girlfriend. Viscerally. I am feeling all those things you mentioned- worry, overwhelm with a tinge of excitement and anticipation. You are not alone.  01.29.10 - 4:32pm
Jo-Anne Kyle - Jasmine and everyone else who commented, saying how much they can relate to what you are going through - isn't it wonderful that we have this huge cheering section! We're here for you and for each other, wishing and praying that all your plans work out and your life and work keeps moving forward. Can't wait to see the fabulousness you are about to unleash upon the world!  01.29.10 - 4:27pm
Cat Watson - You are certainly not alone:) I think your willingness to be so vulnerable and open is precisely why you are so successful. It's inspiring, truly.  01.29.10 - 4:24pm
christina - whatever it is that you are working on, god will see you through. he has helped you this far, and doesn't put any test in front of you that you cannot overcome!   01.29.10 - 3:55pm
Missy Desiree - BY GOD I SHALL NEVER LEAVE YOU!...or polo because he's just to dang cute! :) I'm putting out positive energy and prayers your way in knowing that you will success in everything you set out to do for one reason - because you are Jasmine freaking "rock" star! ::hugs::  01.29.10 - 3:34pm
Kelly Green - Here is my favourite quote of all time... "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." I can't remember who said it, but I thought it very fitting & it's a quote I hold dear to my heart x  01.29.10 - 3:29pm
Jodie H - You are NOT alone! I'll remember you before the Lord tonight. I've had a few good cries and even some moments of sobbing this week. My husband & I took a crucial step to get us moving in a new direction for our family. That step was unpleasant and showed itself to be an unstable stone that would land us on our faces. So... we have backed up to where we started. We know where we need to be but can't seem to find the our bridge across the gap. Your post has echos of my own heart this week. We, the internet, may leave and forsake you but you know The One who never will! :o) May He give you peace in the risk.   01.29.10 - 3:18pm
kim james - i relate i relate i relate....thanks for the hones share.  01.29.10 - 3:08pm
Anne - I so would say that to you, if I met you. But you need to come to beautiful Germany. This year is your best chance, because the region I live in is the cultural capital of Europe for one year. It will be so awesome. So if you want to come, I'll be your guide and I shall never leave you. By God. xoxo  01.29.10 - 3:03pm
Amanda Key - Sending you positive thoughts!   01.29.10 - 2:54pm
michele dyson - This one hit home Jasmine! I think you've hit home with quite a few of us blog stalkers, by the looks of it. There have been far too many 3a.m. nights for me the pasts months because of this very same reason....taking a risk, jumping in head first and just believing that you can do it! Now to find the balance so that my kiddos don't have to peel my lids open when the sun comes up! Really, though....thank you thank you for your bits of knowledge and your open heart - it inspires so many of us:)   01.29.10 - 2:54pm
Juli L. - I completely understand! Thank you for sharing all your ups and downs. It will work out and someday it will all make sense why some things worked out and others didn't. I know it's hard to believe in the middle of everything, but just keep your head up and working toward the goal and when it's right it will all fall in to place.  01.29.10 - 2:44pm
Noelle McCoy - I totally get this, because sometimes I sit back in my chair and want to cry because you got to be you and I didn't! You're amazing, and no matter what come next, God speaks the words of Jer 29:11 just to YOU!  01.29.10 - 2:31pm
Ronni - Thanks Jasmine, for once again reminding me how human I really am. I had an extremely stressful morning, and my husband was once again amazing. He just listened. And that was all I needed. You remind me no matter where you are on the success ladder, we are all human. Thanks.  01.29.10 - 2:23pm
Stacie Frazier - Wow, this post couldn't have been more timely for me. It describes exactly how I am feeling today while awaiting word on a huge project of my own. Thanks for sharing Jasmine! Knowing I'm not alone in those feelings helped somehow.  01.29.10 - 2:14pm
Jennifer Regruth - Hang in there, girl! Good karma will take you places...  01.29.10 - 2:01pm
RGBeki - Remember when I told you how fans are like bras? You can never have too much support? Just making sure you remembered. Ya know, cause you've basically got enough support here to open up a Victoria's Secret. ;) It's gonna be okay, kid!  01.29.10 - 1:56pm
MelissaFoscardo - There are so many things I want to say in reply to this post, but I'll try to keep it short. Like so many others who commented, I feel the same way. Every single day, as I try to drum up business and decide what move I need to make next, I feel discouraged, doubtful and sometimes just plain old exhausted from wondering if I'm doing the right thing and wondering if this is going to work out or not. Am I going to put all this time, energy and money into building a business and then fall flat on my face? I don't know...and there's no one I can ask to see how "the story ends". The only way out is through so every day I counter each negative thought with a positive thought at a time...every single day. I've got no inspiring words of wisdom to give, but I will tell're not alone. And, after reading your post and all the other comments...neither am I. Bless you.  01.29.10 - 1:40pm
kate callahan - haha, josie ... I thought the same thing when I read this!!!  01.29.10 - 1:24pm
Life with Kaishon - I will pray for your new venture today.  01.29.10 - 1:21pm
Stephanie Stewart - I can SO relate too! I have a billion and one things on my to-do list, and it's so frustrating when nothing seems to get crossed off, because there's just not enough time in the day, because people say "no", because the stars just aren't quite aligned, or for whatever reason. Thank you for being real and sharing your fears, hopes and dreams with your internet friends. I'm not going anywhere! Que dramatic music!  01.29.10 - 1:16pm
Daniele - Have you been spying on me? I can so have no idea :)  01.29.10 - 1:08pm
Lisa - I "summoned" something much bigger than myself into my world, and am now feeling like a bit of a dragon wrestler - LOL! You know, I've never posted anything on your blog in the past, even though I've been following it for awhile. Lately however, I've felt compelled to comment because these things that you share are so ridiculously RELEVANT to what's going on in my life, and you always provide a fresh perspective on what I'm dealing with. So THANKS from the bottom of my little 'ol heart <3 Also, I suspect that you are more than equal to whatever challenges you're dealing with, and that as elusive as that end result may seem at the moment you'll figure out a way to get there. GOOD LUCK!!!!  01.29.10 - 1:04pm
Nicole Dabbs - Jasmine, I've been following you for quite some time thanks to my good friends, Lindsay & Bobby Earle. I've been stalking, but never commented, until today. I just want you to know that I completely know what you are going through and it reminds me of something my husband told me. He said that the fear of trying something and failing is far less than the fear of looking back and wondering, "what if?". Regret from not trying is way worse than failing. I think about that every day and hopefully it will help you! Good luck on your future endeavor!  01.29.10 - 12:55pm
AmyPunky Photography (Emilie) - Good luck with your new project!! I'm there too, and I feel for you. I've starting my photography business this year and I'll be shooting my first wedding in May... big pressure, big stress, fear of failure, exictement... I hear you!! You'll be great! :)  01.29.10 - 12:51pm
Christa - Oh Jasmine...I'm in complete shock that you even feel these feelings. You just seem to be so successful with anything that you attempt. I'm sure this project will be the same :) Chin up girly!!  01.29.10 - 12:48pm
Cathy Crawley - Oh Jasmine, I know what ever you are working on is going to be fabulous, just like you.   01.29.10 - 12:33pm
Kelsey MacMaster - This is my first post EVER to a blog... of any kind! I'm venturing out there and this post, after reading many seemed to grap my heart and say GO FOR IT! Cause I feel ya, all of those things. Know that you've inspired me tremendously, and I quote you "I'd rather fail at something I love then suceed at something you hated". Don't let that get old!   01.29.10 - 12:25pm
cori derksen - I'm not leavin'!...I love reading your blog. I've felt completely overwhelmed, inadequate, and fearful of my new adventure. Each of our adventures are a bit different, but I value your honesty. Thank you. And for what it's worth I truly value being able to learn from you in Feb at your workshop. Thank you for your realness.  01.29.10 - 12:24pm
Dawn McCarthy - Funny how your post completely resonates with me on this day, at this moment! I have complete faith in you though J* and I would venture to say that we both shall find success on the fringe of our latest business ventures. Why? Because we are both just DETERMINED like that! Take a deep breath and know that success awaits you.  01.29.10 - 12:23pm
Josie - OMG...You're PREGNANT!!!  01.29.10 - 12:22pm
Sarah - Jasmine, you are amazing :-)  01.29.10 - 12:20pm
miriam - oh, i hear you. sad, but i do. thank goodness for husbands! am i right or what?  01.29.10 - 12:11pm
Mindy - You are loved Jazzy* and everything's going to be okay...everything happens for a reason...good or bad! You are not alone...never ever...:) Your world is rocking you right ROCK BACK JAZZY* STYLE!!!  01.29.10 - 12:08pm
Isabel - This is me today. And then I called my sister. Today she was my JD.   01.29.10 - 11:58am
Gail - You know everything will turn out just fine. :)   01.29.10 - 11:57am
Chris c. - Note to self: I CAN do this. Jasmine, you CAN do it!  01.29.10 - 11:56am
Beth - Thank you for being so honest! That is why you have such a strong following! I just read this blog post today and thought you might enjoy it too. God wants us to live a life of adventure and if you are not scared sometimes that means that you are way to comfortable! I love the quote "It's not brave unless your scared!"  01.29.10 - 11:46am
Brandis Allison - *BIG HUG* (I'm a hugger) I am also here quite a lot. Especially with the loss of my mother who was my best friend. Life is HARD. Sometimes I escape reality, even for 5 minutes, and write or find an old picture that always makes me smile. I breathe in and out deeply, quietly and soak in the reasons why I started my photography career and the blessings it has brought into my life. It helps. And if you don't like that suggestion, I posted a blog today about my 22 month old son who decided to take all the condiments (except the ketchup) out of the fridge and line them up without my knowledge. So far, everyone has smiled and laughed. It might do the same for you too! xxoo.Brandis (from all the way in bitter cold Ohio).  01.29.10 - 11:45am
Jen - As someone who's just starting out in this big scary world of photography, this post really hit home for me. Although you've had much success, the feelings that you mentioned - feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, lost, and worried are exactly how I feel every day when I think about my business venture and wondering if I made the right decision to go thru with it. I wish you the best on your new endeavor, your talent is amazing and inspiring to many.  01.29.10 - 11:40am
Sue McFarland - Jasmine, not sure what your situation is..(.love to make a guess)! I sure hope that the Lord is gracious and does not keep you waiting too long for whatever it is that you are working towards and planning. Your faith in Him will see you through. Know that we all adore you and that your writing and sharing with us your most personal feelings makes us all feel a little less alone. I have learned so much from you. Thanks and keep your spirits up. What ever it WILL happen for you :)   01.29.10 - 11:37am
Millie - I think I feel like this on a daily basis. I was telling my husband last night that I have so many big dreams and aspirations for my photography, and I just want them to come true to bad. Its a frustrating feeling, but we all know you have great success in what you already do. And this new project will be no different.  01.29.10 - 11:33am
Israel David Groveman - Jasmine, never met you in real life, love your work. I love posts like this because it shows the passion/emotion/heart behind the photographer, and to me, that is worth following on any blog, whether it's someone well known, or not. Here's cheers to your new project!! Keep on shooting, -Israel  01.29.10 - 11:19am
Kelley Fantasma - A couple of months ago I stumbled across your site when looking for inspiration for a blog design I was working on. Since then I have been inspired consistently by your work and often times your life. Just know that whatever the endeavor, your natural eye for beauty, passion for capturing real life, and humility are captivating. Thank you for your refreshing admittance that everyone has down days.  01.29.10 - 11:18am
Diane Lewis - You post what most people just keep to themselves- thank you for that. There is a Christian radio station that I listen to in the car ( k-love- I am sure it's in CA too) and they were talking about having one word to live by for 2010. So I thought I should come up with a word for me for 2010, so many choices that were great, but I finally settled on trust. So each day that I once faced with fear of wondering about the many what ifs in life and my bussiness, I decided to trust God in all I do. What a weight that has lifted off of me when I decided to really place all my trust in God. He gives us what we need and for every success and every failure is a lesson that God has planned for us to learn and grow. I know you have a strong faith and trust in God from reading your wonderful blog, and I know whatever you are planning is going to be great, your talents are endless!   01.29.10 - 11:15am
Jennifer Brotchie - Oh Jasmine...yes, yes and yes... I get it, I get you, I feel it too. But you'll never know unless you try. and if it doesn't work out, you'll have some pretty nice camera equipment right? ha!  01.29.10 - 11:13am
gina Kramp - I know exactly how you feel!   01.29.10 - 11:03am
Lydia - Oh, I know this feeling all too well. I think the ups and downs are just a part of life. And it's the downs that make the ups so beautiful. At least that's what I keep telling myself. ;-) It's going to be a success, girl! And I can't wait to see it!  01.29.10 - 10:50am
s h e r r y - Thanks for being so open, Jasmine. I know you are gonna make it!! This new project will be great :)  01.29.10 - 10:49am
Renee - You are so not alone! I'm sure the new project will turn out to be wonderful.  01.29.10 - 10:47am
Marissa Rodriguez - Everything you EXACTLY how I've been feeling. I've realized getting things started is hard and stressful but I know eventually it will work out. And I'm POSITIVE the same will happen with you. You've done it before and you'll do it again. No doubt!  01.29.10 - 10:47am
Allison - That is totally how I feel right now... one day I am superwoman conquering all, the next I am full of doubt and stress, but reading this post and the inspiring comments reminds me even when I don't feel it the fire in me its there! Maybe I should buy a cape that might help on those doubt days? Ha it will all pan out, even if how is still unknown.   01.29.10 - 10:43am
Amanda - God I will never leave you.  01.29.10 - 10:38am
Jaquetta Bates - "For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord." Jer 29:11 J* I've been blog stalking you for about six months now. The one thing I know about you is that you are a giver, you give it all you got in everything you do. Please know that God has this thing under control, he has something better in store. Just have" FAITH, the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen" HEB 11:1 This battle is not yours girlfriend, rock on and keep it movin'!!!!  01.29.10 - 10:34am
Tara Yesberger - Thank you... The rudolph comment, I thought I was the only one. :)  01.29.10 - 10:32am
Kristin - "By God, we will never leave you!" :) I'm in that place right now too. Don't feel alone, the low times will come and go and we'll all get through it!   01.29.10 - 10:31am
Kristin - I definitely understand how you're feeling. Lost and don't know how to connect the dots is a perfect perfect way to describe it...  01.29.10 - 10:26am
Leora - I totally understand what you're saying- I too am nervous to start a new path, but I wish you the best of luck and success!! You can do it!!!  01.29.10 - 10:26am
michelle - okay, so I KNOW I've already commented on this one... and not too long ago, either... but wanted to add one more thing. The FEAR and UNCERTAINTY is what lets you know that this is all WORTH it. I found solace in this post... I have been feeling lost for a while now, and not that it's GOOD that you're feeling lost, too... just nice to know that I'm not lost and ALONE. We can be lost together. ; )   01.29.10 - 10:21am
Nelly Soares - "Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is"...H.Jackson Brown Jr. You'll be fine and ROCK whatever it is your working always do.  01.29.10 - 10:21am
inland Empire Wedding Photographer - Oh yea i have been feeling so low lately. but I'm having my friend take my photos maybe that will cheer me up   01.29.10 - 10:21am
Kathrina - You are not alone... I hope you can hear Michael Jackson's voice now. Seriously, you may have felt this way when starting your business before and look how far along you've come. You guys will succeed whatever you put your heart into!  01.29.10 - 10:20am
heaven - i've taken very few risks in life. i've spent most of my time on earth snuggled up in my fear. In that controlled and shallow space I lost everything. In NOT taking the risk, I lost it all. Because you are risking, you will always win..   01.29.10 - 10:19am
Dianne Jago - 'don't be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the PEACE of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus'. This week God has been showing me how HUGE prayer is. It is the bridge between our faith and our actions - knowing that whatever the situation may be, we are leaving it in His hands. I will be praying for you :)  01.29.10 - 10:13am
Sarah - I am in the exact same place right now. I'm trying to start my own photography business and I can't explain the excitement I feel but also the tremendous fear. I have no idea what I'm doing and everyday I feel like I'm just trying to play it by ear. Hang in there. You are lucky to have people that love you because that makes all the difference I think!  01.29.10 - 10:12am
Kate Noelle - The hard times are the salt in life. They're awful and sour alone, but when mixed in with the triumphs and joys, it makes the meal all the more flavorful... :) Hang in there... be the best you can be... and He'll take care of the rest. Thanks for posting this and keeping it real...  01.29.10 - 10:10am
Edward - Word to Big Bird. I'm somewhere between that success/failure/unsurity right now. Every week is HIGH, then LOOOOOW. But, through it all. What the good Lord has in store will be right? Just keep chargin ahead kiddo!  01.29.10 - 10:08am
Matthew Saville - I think it's healthy to go through a lull, or experience a rejection, at least once a year. As small business owners, but also as artists. It keeps us on track, it gives us perspective, and I don't know about you but my ego needs to be chopped down a notch at least once or twice a year. Thanks so much for sharing your own emotions, and KEEPING IT REAL! =Matt=  01.29.10 - 10:07am
Jason Dail - I know how you feel! It is such a terrifying thing to put yourself out there and hope for the best. All the risk is so.....worth it looking back though. I think that we should all put our heart and soul on the line with everything we do.  01.29.10 - 10:03am
janessa - take a deep breath and LEAP!   01.29.10 - 10:02am
Krista - I'm there. Right now. I understand.   01.29.10 - 9:59am
Analy - I love Paulo Coelho and this is one of my favorite quotes. I hope it means as much to you as it does to me bc I'm where you where you where in 2006. "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream."  01.29.10 - 9:58am
joan solitario - Whatever you are going through, good luck jasmine! :) My favorite bible verse goes something like this: It's when I am weak, that I know I'm strong!  01.29.10 - 9:55am
Izehi - I feel you, in so many ways!  01.29.10 - 9:53am
Susannah - I've been there. oh wait, who am I kidding? I'm there now. Thanks for being real.  01.29.10 - 9:52am
Lindsay Kay - Good luck with everything you're endeavoring to do. You lead such a spunky and inspiring life. Thank you for your example of perseverance. You can do it!  01.29.10 - 9:50am
Gina Meola - If you've got a dream, God placed it in you long before this blog post. He's already equipped you to WIN, you've just got to trust Him! If you've been here before, then you certainly know the outcome - we alllll know your outcome. Blessings, girl. Big[ger] things ahead.   01.29.10 - 9:50am
Tara Winsor - Thank you for this post. I would say that if I saw you in the street. ;-) I hope that line become a little less blurred. :-)  01.29.10 - 9:44am
Christina Graves - By God we will never leave you...always by you're side no matter what:) Loveyaalot's  01.29.10 - 9:43am
leah a. - Thank you for being so candid!! Good Luck with your new project, I am sure it will be amazing ;-)  01.29.10 - 9:42am
Jeanette - Wow. Your so honest. I am glad that it's not just me struggling to make my dreams come true. It's the struggle that makes the dream all the more sweeter. Thank you for your post, it was just what I needed to hear today.  01.29.10 - 9:40am
Boots - I'm right there with your, sista. This is exactly my life right now and I continue to tell myself when I cant see, feel, or find my way - GOD is up to something. Best to you on the greatness ahead. It is there...just waiting.   01.29.10 - 9:39am
michelle - oh my gosh... thank you for this blog post. you open up a lot of your self to us readers, and I totally thank you for that. I teared up when I read this post, and I'm tearing up again right now as I write this stupid little comment. But I KNOW how you feel. Exactly. I feel it every single day. I'm still starting up in my own little photography business, and every day I have to push and question and push some more... I get excited about any triumphs, and then equally scared that I'm too excited. It's humbling, and I question my sanity. Every. Single. Day. But one thing that keeps me going is this... knowing that I AM so emotional about this serves to remind me of just HOW important this endeavor is to me. If I was feeling so casual about it all, it probably wouldn't be worth my time, you know? So, I'm guessing that whatever you are working on is the same way... it's a big deal to you, and you're throwing your heart and soul into it all. As it should be. You're passionate because it IS so important. And so you know you're on the right track...   01.29.10 - 9:39am
Karen - OMG, I am right with you. I'm taking a BIG risk myself right now, wanting desperately to change my career path. I feel lost, overwhelmed and like there is nothing but mountain after mountain to climb and I'm scared, emotional and stressed. But I'm still going for it. I wish myself and yourself all the luck in the world. Here's hoping it all works our for both of us.  01.29.10 - 9:36am
Kira Lauren Photography - I totally feel you. I journaled about similar feelings in starting my business, and just looked back on the pages. Found these verses that encourage: Ecc 5:19 and my personal favorite, Matthew 6:33. Have a fabulous day =)  01.29.10 - 9:36am
megmanionsilliker - the unknown is a pretty scary place. listen to your heart - take a deep breath - hold jd's hand - and take that leap - i have no doubt you will be doing something amazing!! xo  01.29.10 - 9:36am
Christina Sloan - I SOOO needed to hear this today...   01.29.10 - 9:35am
Tira J - Everything is going to be okay Jasmine! God will guide you in the right direction and be your biggest cheerleader as you take new risks to run towards your dreams.   01.29.10 - 9:33am
Courtney - Feeling the same way in Oh so manys ways right now. Most of it has to do with my little boy and last night a very elderly man said to me just give it all to God. It was a reminder that God will always provide for us. We may just see it at the time. I know you don't know me, but this post touched me. So thanks!  01.29.10 - 9:33am
amanda thiessen - it's like you read my mind!!! thank you for your always perfect timing  01.29.10 - 9:32am
Hanssie Trainor - Risk = opportunity You'll be great and if you're not, who cares? Pick yourself back up, we'll still love you!  01.29.10 - 9:32am
K - By God I shall never leave you! I swear it by all things photography!!! =D You rock, J* I'm a 22 year old college student trying to make heads or tails about what to do next. I hope I have half the courage, determination, and grace you display when I finally figure it out and take the plunge. So, God I shall never leave you!  01.29.10 - 9:31am
Diandra - Beautiful. Honest. Sooo needed to hear it today. Thanks Jasmine.   01.29.10 - 9:31am
Kim - After the morning I have already had I know I won't find you anywhere on the street but just wanted to say I so understand and get you cuz I am right there too at this moment. But there is hope, a light knowing all things work together for His good or sometimes our growing - man I wish sometimes learning and growing didn't have to hurt :) Hope you can enjoy your day! and thanks for reminding me I am not alone too  01.29.10 - 9:30am
Melissa Jean - I believe in life we are only given what we can handle at a particular moment or time, and I truly believe things happen for a reason. I am sure what you are going through is just a minor bumb and like everything else you will come out on top. When one door closes another one opens... hang in there and continue to be the positive person we have all come to appreciate and love :-)   01.29.10 - 9:30am
Catie Ronquillo - I'm there. I'm so there. That line is awfully thin, but imagine the potential. I'm taking a page from Lara Casey's book, "Feel the Fear and do it Anyway." Thanks for keeping it real and sharing with your readers that your life isn't all sunshine and lollipops...all the time. But that you feel it too. Frustration. Lost. Scurred. You're not alone girl! Big Hugs, xo. Can't wait to hear what your new project is about!  01.29.10 - 9:29am
Alison - I know the feeling very well, I find I have to keep reminding myself over and over that at the other end (and there is an end there somewhere), my life will be better, even if the outcome is negative rather than positive. I will grow, learn and change from it. I wish you success and peace with whatever your current venture may be....  01.29.10 - 9:29am
LEOLAK - You'd never make it to your destination with all of us that would profess our devotion to you! LOL!!! Thanks for sharing such a personal moment, and no you are not alone in those feelings. Good luck - I know you will come out on top! Thanks for the inspiration (once again!)  01.29.10 - 9:29am
Jessica Pressley - You're awesome Jasmine! I loooove your blog and read it every day and stuff. I wonder how many people will say this but "By God I will never leave you!" hehehe  01.29.10 - 9:27am
Val - I'm not sure what you're going through Jasmine, but I can assure you I've been there before. ((hugs))  01.29.10 - 9:25am
Marisol - Good Luck Jasmine :) You'll do great :) Remember to smile, God loves you ;)  01.29.10 - 9:23am
Michelle W - Sending you positive thoughts! You are such an inspiration and I wish you the best of luck with this new project! :)  01.29.10 - 9:22am
Heather Negrete - Wow I love your honesty! I have never before commented on a blog, but I was are in my prayers!  01.29.10 - 9:21am
Katy G - Jeremiah 29:11 and Phil. 4:6..great words of encouragement for you today... I don't know your exact situation, but understand those same feelings!  01.29.10 - 9:19am