06.29.10 Personal

Kisses and Disses : Wipes + The World Cup

H
e's what I call a Marketer's Dream. He's the kind of person NYC marketers sit in their corner boardrooms and dream about. He's the kind of guy that likes to be sold to. And he also happens to be my husband. JD loves anything and everything that's packaged, jingled, and cha-chinged. And it's the most annoying thing. Ever. I mean, when waitresses see him, they know his kind. They offer the pureed strawberry lemonade, the signature appetizers, and chived sour cream for only $2.00 more. And he always says yes. Oh, because it's SIGNATURE.

I've grown accustomed to this behavior. Kinda. Yesterday I walked in from the gym and Polo did his happy wiggle. I got on the floor and kissed him, like always. I called him Stinker...then JD asked me if Polo was really stinky. Because he has something for that. For stinkyness, I ask. JD then offers the following:


Wipes. WIPES?!? Now, that's just too much. Some bald, bellied man in NYC is laughing in his boardroom when he realizes JD actually BOUGHT THE WIPES. Because, really? Who buys wipes for their dog?! Oh, my little Marketer's Dream.

This leads me to another installment of Kisses and Disses...


This week's DISSES go to:
*Bald, bellied marketers in NYC who sell dog wipes.
*Husbands who buy said wipes.
*Receiving newsletters I never subscribed to. It drives me irrationally crazy.


This week's KISSES go to:
*The World Cup. Because, really, how can those players look so rawr after 90 minutes of running, sweating, and pretend-fouling?
*This American Life podcast. I'm obsessed with Ira Glass. I listen to him while I work and we're a pretend couple. In my mind. Which is so normal.
*Martha Stewart wall paint. My bathroom is now Persimmon thanks to Martha's line at Home Depot. Oh, what? You think persimmon sounds fancy? IT SO IS.

Happy Tuesday!
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Tracy - Ha! I had no idea that dog wipes existed...  09.03.10 - 3:34pm
Truc - Hahaha, the wipes are hilarious!  07.02.10 - 4:46pm
Katelyn James - ohhh wall paint!!! We have alot of that coming our way:) Maybe we'll check out martha for our new little cape cod!!:)  07.01.10 - 9:08am
Erika - Too funny. I have to admit to you that we buy the wipes for our dogs too. We wipe them when they come in from outside because I refuse to have them track in dirt and get it on our furniture or bed. I know it is kinda OCD right? haha.  06.30.10 - 4:39pm
Crystal - I'm not gonna lie... I'm pretty sure there is a pack of those around our house. No joke... Sigh. lol. (It rained for two weeks straight this spring and they were used to wipe off muddy paws...)  06.30.10 - 3:10pm
flo - haha i totally agree with the world cup kiss... lol *sigh* martha stewart paint is sooo pretty!  06.30.10 - 1:31pm
Carol - Actually the wipes are really useful for pets that just got spayed/neutered/surgery because they can't have baths, but they might be stinky!  06.30.10 - 12:27pm
Steff - Oh JD, if you must must must, buy baby wipes. They are good for all sorts of things. Where as there isn't as much appeal with wiping your hands off with dog wipes, is there? Baby wipes make more sense too, then Polo would get to smell like a baby. Who doesn't love that? Live and learn, JD.  06.30.10 - 12:16pm
kortnee kate and ted - My sister bought wipes for her cats. She was DESPERATE to curb the cat stink in her home... which made her an easy target for the bald guy in NYC!!! :)  06.30.10 - 11:00am
Lora Ayers - Those wipes , are hilarious! I can't even imagine that you'd really want to cover your dog in the "fresh scent". I feel a headache coming on. :)   06.30.10 - 10:21am
Candace Prokopets - Oh, that is too funny! Vitaliy is the same way. He brought home a mop once and spent 30 minutes basically replaying the entire sales pinch to me of why he bought it. Too funny!  06.30.10 - 9:45am
Sarah Danaher - I totally agree about the World Cup.   06.30.10 - 9:23am
laetitia - I come back because I was so angry with this world cup that I forgot to speak about those wipes... I do not use wipes on my babies to be green, so on dogs ... I think this is first of all hilarious that somebody thought of doing those, but sad that some people would buy them !  06.30.10 - 6:41am
s h e r r y - Hahaha JD is awesome! I am totally one of those people too. I often feel compelled to go out and go GET stuff after seeing it on a commercial. (baaaad).  06.29.10 - 10:10pm
Rita - EXCUSE me Jasmine, but your husband is very smart to buy the wipes!  06.29.10 - 9:41pm
erika - But the wipes WORK! Well, they're awesome for cats who hate baths. A dog might need more than a wipe...  06.29.10 - 9:09pm
laetitia - heu... the world cup, seriously...!!! as a french (yeh I said it again), I would say this is a bad bad world cup... what a shame for France. We are known to do strike all the tim, and this is true, but soccer players who are paid millions to play and rpresent the nation are going on strike 2 days before playing the world cup !!!!!???? what a shame for french people, especially when we won the 98 world cup we should act better (and play better too) ... so for me this world cup is a diss... big time !  06.29.10 - 9:08pm
Sarah - I'm with JD on this one. Dog wipes?! Sweet! We have been using baby wipes to clean our dog in-between baths.   06.29.10 - 6:36pm
kristin @ the treasured petal - ummm we have dog wipes, too! joe bought them and diligently wipes pesto and basil after walks or dog park jaunts. joe is definitely in charge of keeping our mutts clean and odor free. my guess is that someday he'll be the one changing the diapers and doing the baby butt wiping, too!   06.29.10 - 5:28pm
Connie Sithi - Pretend fouling! LOL!!! Yea, they have serious RAWR factor goin' on. Love you, J*! I think I've turned all my coworkers into J* fans, too. woot woot  06.29.10 - 4:58pm
gladys jem - hahahaha, jd is awesome! gotta love it!  06.29.10 - 4:13pm
Kelsey Anderson - The question is do the wipes work? If so then you have to cut JD a bit of slack lol   06.29.10 - 3:33pm
shani barel-desser - I am so guilty of ALL of the above, my apologies....  06.29.10 - 3:29pm
Girl in The White Dress - Wondering what the "8 in 1" could be!!? 1) cleans, 2) deodorizes, 3) feeds the dog, 4) toilet trains him, 5) makes your bed in the morning, 6) is your second shooter at weddings, 7) cooks dinner, 8) answers the phone?....  06.29.10 - 3:24pm
Karen Taggart - My husband bought the dog wipes too! He says our wiener dog is "sweaty". Hahaha :)  06.29.10 - 2:59pm
Melissa Papaj Photography - You are too funny. I cannot beleive they have dog wipes, but I know lots of people who woud buy them in a heart beat - my mother-in-law for one :)  06.29.10 - 2:50pm
amanda thiessen - the world cup has definitely been eye catching hahah but total diss to the refs who were making ridiculous calls!! boo!!  06.29.10 - 2:35pm
Catie Ronquillo - I LOVE This American Life. I listened to a couple of shows yesterday on my plane ride back to Dallas from San Francisco. I also feel smarter after listening. Last year my cousin and I ran into Ira Glass in the street near NYU. I didn't really know who he was back then, but now I'm very familiar! We will be frequenting Home Depot this weekend, we're painting too!  06.29.10 - 2:35pm
Ty - How amazing is This American Life. Check out the dvd's from showtime.  06.29.10 - 2:11pm
Kelli Taylor - You crack me up!  06.29.10 - 2:01pm
Life with Kaishon - My husband is exactly the same way. A marketers dream. I can't tell you how many ridiculous things we have because of him : ) Oh well. I am sure if I email him this post, he would come home tonight with some cat wipes. Kid you not.  06.29.10 - 1:43pm
Mavi - Thanks for the laugh! And I agree, who doesn't enjoy watching Villa, Higuain and Ronaldo all sweaty on the field =)  06.29.10 - 1:27pm
Carol - 1. Loving your "rawr" comment about soccer players --- SOOO True! 2. I too, am obsessed w/This American Life and Ira Glass! ... 3. You are just awesome!  06.29.10 - 1:25pm
Adam J - Sounds like me. Although not sure even I would fall for stinky dog wipes! Awesome post.  06.29.10 - 12:42pm
Mireille - Yeah for the World Cup. Netherlands got through to the quarter final. I am watching Spain vs Portugal right now. Indeed Rawr and that is just after 10 minutes of play!!  06.29.10 - 12:41pm
Lindsay - My boyfriend is THE SAME!! Will buy anything. Can be sold on anything. Drives me bonkers. Me: They're going to try to sell you that, don't buy it, you don't need it. Him: Of course not. Don't be ridiculous, I am not going to buy that. Me (later): How did it go? Him: I bought it. *sigh!*  06.29.10 - 12:27pm
Amy Hummel - My husband is the opposite. My "kiss" goes to Pottery Barn paint.  06.29.10 - 12:19pm
LEOLAK - HILARIIOUS on the wipes...and JD buying them! Maybe they figured it's less work than washing them all the time?!?! No...ok. I hear you on getting things you didn't subscribe too...annoying! Have a good day.  06.29.10 - 12:11pm
Jennie Renaudo - Ha! My husband got those for our dogs AND his mom's cat.   06.29.10 - 12:10pm
Kelly Trimble - Pretend fouling....hahahah. You should have Dissed those annoying noise makers though! Really so tired of it sounding like a swarm of bees in my house!  06.29.10 - 12:07pm
Lydia - I've got Martha Stewart's butter cream yellow downstairs from way back when, and it's just dreamy!   06.29.10 - 11:53am
Cindy A. - Hahaha I have 2 little stinkers at home and both will remain wipe-free! *Le sigh* I heart futbol players...  06.29.10 - 11:49am
bree - Reggie has the wipes too!! Give them a chance- its so much easier than a bath! I'm with JD on this one :)   06.29.10 - 11:48am
Tracy - So true Jasmine! Wipes are awful - who buys those things anyway - its a fake doggy wash! And I heart Ira Glass and your blogs....my bf and I aspire to be wedding photogs like you one day!   06.29.10 - 11:12am
Alli Mc - Yipee for the World Cup...and pretend-fouling...hysterical!  06.29.10 - 11:09am
Mikkel - Love This American Life! I'll have to subscribe to the podcast!  06.29.10 - 11:06am
Romonia - I love it! Can't believe JD bought dog wipes for Polo! ;-)   06.29.10 - 11:04am
Renee - had to LOL when i read about the wipes. we have a lhasa apso and a shih tzu and my husband bought the exact. same. wipes. i'm not sure if it's good or bad to know there are two of them out there.  06.29.10 - 11:00am
Jessica - Hey! I bought wipes for my dog.. Now, they weren't dog wipes. They were baby wipes. He's a Maltese and supposed to be white... The wipes attempt to keep him that color if he happens to get dirty outside. Don't worry, JD. I have your back. ;-)   06.29.10 - 10:54am
Veronica - I am with you on disliking scammy marketers. Though the wipes are a good idea for a dog without any undercoat (like Italian Greyhounds, Mastiffs) who only need a chamois cloth wipedown for their grooming... I just don't know why people don't use something non-disposable and save the waste.  06.29.10 - 10:51am
Jesse Holland - I am so with you on Ira Glass! I pretend to edit photos while listening to him; I usually just end up sitting in front of my computer listening. Radio lab is pretty good too, but you may already know that.   06.29.10 - 10:51am
Kristina - Oooohhh Martha Stewart has her own paint??? Well OF COURSE she does.... LOVE the "sharkey gray". Paint color names are always the deciding factor for me. :) And those wipes are awesome, use them on my dog all the time.   06.29.10 - 10:50am
lroah - Oh I think I just fell off my chair laughing about JD buying the wipes. Hilarious. SUCKER!!!!  06.29.10 - 10:50am
blair - I'm afraid that Ira and I are already in love. I dream that we're a couple and he tells me bedtime stories in his" This American Life" way as I fall asleep at night :)  06.29.10 - 10:49am
angel pope - :-) Luvs!  06.29.10 - 10:48am
Casi - Persimmon is fancy...you can have your signature too...just like JD has his fancy dog wipes that were created by the bald, bellied man you speak of.   06.29.10 - 10:47am
Nancy - We're dog sitting at the moment and my super clean floors can't handle it after taking the dog out. So I was thinking of buying dog wipes, sigh. Yay for the world cup! Hope you feel better soon, all is better when Jasmine is well.  06.29.10 - 10:44am
Christine Meintjes Photography - I just wanted to say...I LOVE the way you write! Can I come for lessons :)  06.29.10 - 10:44am
Jonathan - Haha!! Jasmine, I've just recently started following your blog, and even though I'm not a photographer myself, I still think you are hilarious and awesome!! Thanks sharing all your great stories and especially great photos!!  06.29.10 - 10:44am
Cherisse - You and JD crack me up! You two are perfect for eachother!! Kisses & Disses are the best.   06.29.10 - 10:42am
Julia Avina - Mrs. Star you crack me up. There is something that I see everyone who knows you feels CONNECTED to you. Your energy and truth telling are real and I am glad I can read your stories work and personal on your Blogity Blog.  06.29.10 - 10:40am
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