11.26.10 Personal

Seeing Thanksgiving.

t's just what we do. At Thanksgiving, we go around the table and say what we're thankful for. It's all very After School Special-ish, but I love it. Gratitude dressed in words takes on a life of its own. And it's beautiful.

Every year, when it's my turn, the family holds their collective breath...and wait...for the tears. Every. Year. I'm not the crying type, but put me in front of the people I need the most, at a table full of things we didn't have growing up, surrounded by the soft sounds of jibaro music, and I'm a goner. Every. Year.

My mother's battle with cancer was long and it left a scar on my heart. The type of scar that protrudes from your skin, so others can see if it they stared hard enough. She's tired, she tells me on a phone conversation earlier this week, and she thinks she's losing her sight. From all the radiation. I don't know what to say. Because life is breathtaking and I want her to see it. Forever. Last night at the dinner table I cried. I said I was thankful for my mother's health. Though fragile, she's here. And even though the turkey was still frozen at dinner time, and her yams not thoroughly cooked, she celebrated life. With us. And it's beautiful.
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Nicole L - Wow!!! I am just now reading this, and I'm not really a "commenter," but I have to thank you!!! This was beautiful, and I needed to read it!!! This year, the day after Thanksgiving, my amazing grandfather went to be with Jesus after fighting cancer for the past 6 months. I can't even begin to explain how thankful I am that I got to spend my Thankgiving with him, even if he had just gone back into the hospital. When you have love, you can celebrate anywhere!!! I'm so sorry you and your family are having to deal with this. Just by reading your blogs, I know your family, like mine is surrounded by the love and strength and joy that only God can provide!!! I am praying for your mom and for your family!!! I hope you have a Merry Christmas!!!  12.21.10 - 8:48pm
Anna - I'll be praying for your mom and your family, Jasmine. My uncle was recently diagnosed with leukemia and not a day goes by I don't pray for his strength, no matter how strong he always seems to be. Stay strong as you've been already. God's watching you both.  11.30.10 - 9:49am
Karen Stott - Isaac read me this post after he read it and it hit me hard. I didn't have the courage to comment because I didn't know what to say. I haven't been in your shoes. But I haven't been able to get you and your Mother out of my mind. All weekend. So I had to revisit and let you know, that you guys have been and will be thought of, prayed for, and loved. So loved. Hugs.  11.29.10 - 7:54pm
Angelina - You're such a wonderful person and know your parents played a big part in who you are today. I pray your mothers health is good for many, many years to come-youre entire family as well. I cant imagine what you and your family went through with the cancer. My mom had lung cancer but it was caught early enough that they were able to remove it and she didnt have to go through chemo. She didnt tell me about it until the day she went in for the can imagine my surprise! Anyway Im very grateful everything turned out the way it did and thank God everyday she is doing good and still with us. Glad to hear you had a great Thanksgiving and hope the rest of the Holidays are wonderful as well!  11.29.10 - 6:20pm
Jenna Danelle - Your words touch my heart and bring tears to my eyes. You are such a strong and amazing woman and I'm positive you got that very strength from your mother! I spent the holiday with family and my Grandmother who raised me is fading fast, I went to spend what time I could with her, I'm sure it'll be the last. But I'm ever thankful for all she is and will always be in my life. I'm thankful for you sharing such tender moments, and a sliver of that strength to help me along.... Thank you. *hugs*  11.29.10 - 4:02pm
Lester Molina - My heart goeas out to you and your loved ones. I trully hope your mom gets better soon. Les.  11.29.10 - 10:29am
jeramy - happy thanksgiving jasmine. :-)  11.29.10 - 9:43am
Rich Park - thank you so much for sharing jasmine - your mom is in my prayers.  11.29.10 - 8:26am
Candace Prokopets - I read this post over the weekend and I'm still thinking about it today. Praying for you and your family.   11.29.10 - 7:42am
Katie - Jasmine, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. It is so important to do exactly what you did-be thankful. Remember that our God is bigger than that disease. Keep believing for healing. Ephesians 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." Praying for your family.   11.28.10 - 9:37pm
Amy Wenzel - I love you, Jasmine! If God can heal cancer, he can heal eye sight. By His stripes we are healed. =) xoxoxo   11.28.10 - 9:21pm
Jen - My heart is with you. My mother was diagnosed last year in October... Breast cancer awareness month none-the-less. We lost her mother and sister to the disease. She on the other hand is doing well. Caught early. Life is a gift. Each moment. A gift from Heaven above. Jesus can heal all wounds. Even scars. That's His specialty my sweet friend ♥  11.28.10 - 8:41pm
stephanie - agh.. this post brought me to tears. i'm so glad that you have a beautiful family who taught you to cherish every opportunity and be thankful to God for it. God bless you this holiday season, Jasmine!   11.28.10 - 8:24pm
Amy - November 2009, two days before Thanksgiving, my mom, just 55-years-old, was told that she had cancer again. A different kind. A more aggressive kind. Esophageal cancer. The first half of this year was harrowing. There were many times we thought she was going to pass. However, we just celebrated Thanksgiving 2010 and she is still with us. Tired. Fed through a tube in her stomach but she's here. And she can visit and talk and hug. I know all too well this scar you talk about. Mine started in 1997 when she was diagnosed with leukemia. That scar healed. Then a new one took its place last year. Now that one is healing. Yours will too. Hugs.   11.28.10 - 7:37pm
Claire O'Hara - awesome. simply awesome. im a cryer myself and this brought me to tears as well.  11.28.10 - 5:50pm
Michelle & Ben - Jasmine- I've never had such a scare from someone soooo close to me- I feel for you sooo much and can't even imagine the scar it has left. My prayers continue for you to heal and live in LOVE everyday and cherish every moment with your mom! Your mom's comment post made me cry! :) she LOVES you soooo much! :) and also thinks of the positive in it all! <3 from Me & Ben to you all :)  11.28.10 - 10:31am
Diane - - God is watching over you and your family and I too say how thankful I am for my health and my family. We lost my sister almost 2 years ago (can't believe how fast that has gone by) and I'm grateful for them. I've learned a new strength but still struggle and hope God gets me through it. All I can do now is 1 day at a time.   11.28.10 - 9:20am
Thom Gourley - My wife recently went through a battle with breast cancer, so the sentiments that you express are right on the mark for us this year also. It is indeed beautiful! All the best to you and your Mom! Thom   11.28.10 - 8:08am
Monica Martin - Huge tear drop. Man, you always remind me of how much I love my mom. My prayers are with her...  11.27.10 - 10:10pm
Abby - J*, My heart aches reading this post, I check in to this blog every day as it's one of my favorites, but today I wanted to reach out and tell you that I know how you feel, with my Mom it's lung cancer, and I know that there's only one Mom in your life, and how hard this fight is. I am an american cancer society volunteer with relay for life and I would love to honor your mom at our upcoming meeting with a special luminaria. Please contact me via e-mail and let me know her name so it can be more personal than "j*'s Mom". I will add your Mom to my prayer list, and you as her caregiver, because I know the hurt and fear cancer causes. Blessings, Abby  11.27.10 - 7:09pm
Jakki - and love...are so very beautiful. Good gawd I want to hug you, LOL  11.27.10 - 9:35am
Jennifer Bacchiocchi - I'm sorry your family has been through so much, but glad that your mom is still here with you! My dad suffered a massive stroke 8 years ago, and although he lost a lot of function and his life was altered, I am so thankful that he is here! And my kids have known their amazing Nunu. So who can blame us for being a little sappy? Hugs and prayers to you and your mom.  11.27.10 - 8:00am
Dee - Happy Belated Thanksgiving... I too, am keeping your mom in my prayers. {hug}  11.27.10 - 6:23am
tangie - amen.  11.26.10 - 9:40pm
denise armbruster - God bless you and your family you deserve some blessings   11.26.10 - 9:09pm
Katelyn James - thank God for our beautiful families... Michael's dad always chokes up when he says the blessing each year....each year is a miracle:) Love u!   11.26.10 - 7:41pm
Melissa - Somehow you always manage to touch my heart and soul and today you made me cry. Love to you and your amazing family sweet girl!   11.26.10 - 7:07pm
S Abreu - Jasmine... Thanks for sharing this part of your life with us... Most of the time you make me smile with you FB posts. But today was diferent. I got this verse in my heart when I finished to read your post "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God" . Praying for her now...  11.26.10 - 7:04pm
Grace Cook - Lifting up your Mom in prayer today :)  11.26.10 - 6:26pm
Kelsey Anderson - I know all to well how having a parent with cancer or having fought cancer tears you apart inside and out. My mother had breast cancer when I was 13 and my father passed away from liver cancer when I was 7 months pregnant with my son going on 4 years ago. Life is so precious and you must enjoy every moment of it. Hugs to you!  11.26.10 - 5:49pm
Ronee - This one made me tear up. I totally relate. My mom is 64 and dying of Alzheimer's. Even though she is only a shell of her former self, she still sits and smiles. You are right about life being breathtaking...thanks for the reminder.  11.26.10 - 2:38pm
Robyn - Cancer is always a tender battle and my heart truly goes out to you and your family, Jasmine. Hug her tightly. And know that it is always okay to cry. God's blessings to you all this holiday season! You're in my prayers.  11.26.10 - 1:44pm
LEOLAK - a beautiful post..thank you for always sharing what's in your heart. Many blessings and prayers to your mom, you and your family. Sending good thoughts and prayers to your mom for continued good health.   11.26.10 - 1:34pm
Christina Moodie - Thanks for sharing Jasmine. My grandmother, who I am very close to, has lung cancer. We were not able to see her this Thanksgiving. We are hoping to see her at Christmas since we don't live near her. It is hard seeing a loved one like that. Prayers for your family.   11.26.10 - 12:55pm
Stephanie Stewarts - You got me good with this one, J*! My husband's Mom was diagnosed just over a year ago, on her birthday, in fact, with lung cancer. She's been through chemo and radiation, lost hearing in one ear, but she is still here. And I can't wait to see her soon! Your story of your Mom gives me hope. I sit here with tears in my eyes. Tears of hope and thankfulness. Thank you so much!  11.26.10 - 12:51pm
Linda Geertsen - Happy Thanksgiving Jasmine! You are wonderful.  11.26.10 - 12:45pm
Sheila Floyd - i cry during so many of your blogs for one reason or another... your raw feelings and openess to all of us strangers is special and therapeutic...thank you Jasmine.. ...i am not sure what else to say except thank you and thank you again  11.26.10 - 12:45pm
Mercedes - It's so nice to read about someone who appreciates family so much.   11.26.10 - 12:30pm
Pamela Topping - Keeping your mom in my prayers<3  11.26.10 - 12:26pm
Seer Hor - What a brave woman. Lucky to have invaluable family support!. I myself is an optometrist. Depends on what type of radiotherapy, common cause of visual loss is cataract. Good news is, if it is, it can be treated relatively easily. Consult an optometrist/ophthalmologist for a diagnosis.  11.26.10 - 12:08pm
Diana Lupu - Your heart is so beautiful...and your mother's health is in my prayers always. :)  11.26.10 - 11:57am
Elizabeth - Enjoy every moment Jasmine with not only your mom but with your dad too. I lost my mom and dad and there is nothing more heartbreaking than visiting them on the Holidays with tons of flowers and talking to their headstone, yes, I talk to them and tell them everything. I think every year gets harder not easier for me. Still breaks my heart to know they are gone but I know I will never forget them for as long as I shall live.  11.26.10 - 11:53am
Ashley - Thanks for being so open with...well, the world! It's so touching and I'll be praying for you and yours.  11.26.10 - 11:04am
Angela Woolridge - Hugs to you, and prayers for God to hold your heart so gentle and tender and whisper to you how deeply that He loves you.  11.26.10 - 10:52am
Ed Congdon - What a beautiful post, Jasmine. Having those you love with you at holiday times is always wonderful. Your tears are heartfelt and true; one day they will be a reminder for you of the good times and the love you have shared with your mother. Bless you!  11.26.10 - 10:45am
Mom - I love you very much Jasmine and if my double-vision continues to get worse, I'll just have the joy of seeing TWO Jamine Stars, instead of ONE. Love, Mom  11.26.10 - 10:45am
feuza reis - ah Jasmine, you just made me cry, sending prayers, hugs and healthy living for your mom  11.26.10 - 10:44am
Monica Lakes Ouziel - heartfelt moments this is what life is all about enjoy the precious time you have angels are watching over you god bless you and your family jasmine  11.26.10 - 10:43am
patricia - praying for your mom and your family. =] beautiful, heartwarming post.  11.26.10 - 10:19am
Anahy - Aww Jasmine, you are so precious. Big hugs.  11.26.10 - 10:16am
Jennifer Jar - Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving Jasmine :)  11.26.10 - 10:11am
gladys jem - i don't know what to say, except god is good. im thinking of you and millie, and your family. love you jasmine!  11.26.10 - 10:06am
maile - this post is so beautiful. And so are you. Thank you for sharing your life with us.   11.26.10 - 10:01am
Jihan Cerda - Your mom is an amazing woman!! i knew it within a minute of talking to her. I happy your family is able to continuing celebrating with her and that she is in good health. xoxo  11.26.10 - 9:55am
Diana Gordon - there is power in bringing out what lays inside. forming words around the emotions and thoughts that holds your soul will transform you the world around you. speaking out your gratitude will open you up and you will SEE for each tear you will receive a smile. Yes some people call it praying. :-)  11.26.10 - 9:52am
Alex - Jasmine, such beautiful words. Thanks for sharing. I'm so sorry to hear that you're mother thinks she is losing her sight, and pray that she will get better soon. However it's nice to know that you are focusing on the good - the fact that she is there with you. Happy Thanksgiving.   11.26.10 - 9:50am
Sandy Dilbeck - NOW...I'm crying!! Beautiful Jasmine...just beautiful!!   11.26.10 - 9:49am
Meghan - Beautiful Jasmine. My grandmother is going through the same thing and its so painful to watch her fight and fight and fight. Keeping you and your family (especially your mother) in my prayers.   11.26.10 - 9:47am
Alicia - This is beautiful & I totally relate. Having gone through my own battle with cancer three years ago, every day is a gift to me & I cherish the time that I have with the family that I have. This year was my first year hosting Thanksgiving & I wanted my sisters & kids & parents to know just how thankful I am to have another year. On their placecards I put something about each of them that makes me so thankful to have them in my life. It's a beautiful tradition you have & it we have to seize every opportunity to tell those around us why we need them & love them.  11.26.10 - 9:42am
Carrie Vines - The love in your family is beautiful!  11.26.10 - 9:42am
Samantha Lord - Hi Jasmine, I've been reading your blog for about 3 months and I've fallen in love with your photos, personality, and love for life. I haven't commented before, but this post made me feel the need to thank you for inspiring me. I lost my own mother to cancer two years ago, and it's been difficult to get through and to keep going after her life on earth is over. But I'm so thankful for people like who inspire me to go fully after my dreams, even after it feels like all my dreams crashed around me. So thank you!  11.26.10 - 9:41am
Andrew - It is SO good to express your gratitude out loud to those close to you. It makes everything real:). Love the moments Jasmine, like taking a picture, but with your memory instead.  11.26.10 - 9:41am
kim lowery - And you are beautiful. Really.  11.26.10 - 9:39am
John Naccarato - Im saying a prayer for your mother Jasmine. I lost my father to cancer two years ago and I miss him everyday. If she's as strong as you are, you will be sharing many more Thanksgivings together.   11.26.10 - 9:38am
Carrie - Beautifully said. Drink it in the love and blessings now and always. Prayers to you and yours this holiday season.   11.26.10 - 9:38am
Shannon Gray - My dad had cancer as well...and was told he only had 3 months to live during his battle with it...he amazingly beat the odds. I definitely know what you are going through! Glad your mom made it through it!! I thank God every day for my dad still being here with us!!  11.26.10 - 9:36am
Jen - Prayers to you and your mother Jasmine. So glad you can spend this time together.  11.26.10 - 9:34am