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Are Looks Important To Being a Photographer?
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| Dear Jasmine,
I'm not sure if anyone has asked this before but here goes. I want to know if in your opinion looks are important when being a successful photographer? I mean, it's not like I don't shower or dress nice but I just feel like sometimes people might not take me as seriously as they could if I was well...thin. I am by no means unable to move or work but I am definitely a lot heavier than I would like to be. I feel that people still have strong prejudice against those with a few extra pounds. Do you think this could have an adverse affect on my business? Can I really cover up all my bodily insecurities with my fun and spunky personality? Or will my weight forever hold me back from my dreams? Sincerely, A few pounds extra and a few clients short Dear A Few Pounds Extra, I read your letter and my heart ached. If you don't mind my honesty, what I see is a question about people's perception of your weight...but what I feel is a question about your insecurity. If anyone is attuned to curvy insecurities, it's the girl who weighed 178-pounds on her eleventh birthday. This is the same girl who shared same sized t-shirts with her father. |
| My insecurities and I still battle wars with each other (this stems from childhood ridicule, like when the boys pulled out my chair from under me or the time I had to be weighed in the lobby of a restaurant to see if I qualified for a kid's menu).
Curvy insecurity can't be hidden by your spunky personality, 30 shades of eyeshadow, or a really big camera because some people are judgmental. This notion hurts my feelings, but it's the truth. Plain and simple. But people just don't judge weight...they judge age/ethnicity/gender/etc. so the best thing you can do is embrace (and love) the person you are. Your personality, portfolio, and professionalism should speak highly to your photographic ability, so if people can't see past their biases, that has nothing to do with you. And it's their loss. Don't cover your insecurities, wear them on your sleeve to remind you of how far you've come...and how far you have yet to go. It'll keep you strong and it'll keep you humble. Furthermore, it'll make you appreciate the clients you have for seeing past things that don't matter and focusing on photographer you are. Stay Fabulous, j* To read more Dear Jasmine posts, feel free to click HERE. |
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How Can I Find Inspiration?
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I once heard Inspiration described as a lover who visits when he/she pleases...and on those cold, lonely nights, we wish Inspiration would visit to warm our beds and make us feel less alone. I couldn't agree more. And riiiiight about now my mother is sending me a warning email about the perils of blogging about lovers. She's praying for us all.
In seriousness, I crave inspiration the way any creative might, but try as I might, I can't make it come to me. I must wait. I read an article explaining how inspiration and/or flashes of genius are actually rooted in science. Because of this, we can create a system and life that allows ourselves to have better ideas more often. The article stated everything you've read, tasted, viewed, experienced and learned over the years is stored in your brain as unrelated connections. A section of your brain called the superior anterior temporal gyrus (right side, just behind your ear) helps connect the dots and puts them together into a cohesive idea. However, if you're stressed all the time or have created a crazy busy schedule with little to no margin your brain has a harder time looking for those dots because it is so focused on what you have going on. When your body can relax, your creativity can shine as your creativity is really your brain connecting the dots and presenting solutions. This is why many people get their best ideas in the shower. They are completely disconnected -- no phones, no email, no computers -- which allows the brain to get to work. |
| Liene says if you want better ideas in 2013, set a resolution to regularly do something out of your norm. Read better books and read them more often. Go to museums. Take your daughter out for ice cream. Watch well-made films. Go to a comedy show. Go for a walk. Go for a swim. Learn to cook (I'm working on this one!). Take up knitting.
You can do it alone or make it a date with your spouse, kids, friends. The trick is to get out of your usual routine and allow yourself to have fun and relax. Making time to take care of yourself is better in the long run. I'm slowly learning to let go of the urge to stay busy and, instead, simply be. After all, if I want Inspiration to visit, I should probably be in bed ;) |
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Dear Jasmine : I'm Depressed
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| Dear Jasmine,
You had mentioned that you were depressed when you started photography and I want to know how did you deal with that... how do you book clients, shoot people when you just don't feel like doing it. I mean, I want to and I need this job but I just can't .... I feel like when I started photography I was so excited and omg... I booked so many weddings without advertising and somehow this year I lost everything. I don't even like myself ... and I just don't want to tell anyone. People think I'm strong and I am, in a way... because I don't show any feeling and I never complain about anything. I guess I just don't want my family and friends to be worried. Anyway, don't want to bother you with my life just want to see how you did it... how did you make it this far when at some point in your life, you were depressed. Thanks, I Can't Dear I Can't, It's taken me a while to respond because, well, this is a really personal part of my life. A part I don't like to show, a crevice I'd like to cover with grout in the form of ambition, success, and drive. But if I were to peel back those layers--much like a stinking onion--you'd see a person who still battles with sadness, sometimes with a sword that feels impossibly dull. When I started my business, I was reeling from a bout with depression because my mother had stopped her chemotherapy (doctors gave up hope and told my family to make funeral arrangements), I left law school, and I was completely lost in life. These circumstances would leave anyone depressed, but I was left feeling raw, almost like every fiber of my body was chapped and if you were to touch me, I'd collapse. Thankfully, I was able to walk away from that dark period in my life (with the help of many amazing people) and--looking back--many wonderful things transpired during this painful time, namely my photography business. |
| This battle, however, left me weak. Very weak, if I was being honest. I find myself inordinately sensitive to downward swings in personal and professional aspects of my life. I ache from old wounds and I crumble under the weight of my dreams and expectations. This lethal cocktail leaves me desperate some days...days when getting out of bed is my biggest triumph.
But here's what I hold to be true: I am blessed. My mother is {amazingly} alive. I have food in my fridge. I love the loofa in my shower. My husband loves me (a fact I'm still baffled by daily). I lay on clean sheets. My dog thinks I'm awesome. I have perfect friends. I'm alive. My business has opened doors for me, but the harder I fight to stay in control of it, the more frustrated I become, and this usually leads to sadness. And sadness leads to a dark depression. That point? The teetering precipice between sadness and depression? That's where I draw the line and beg God to reel me back in. Because I've been on the dark side...and it left me raw. So where does this leave you, I Can't? Firstly, you are strong. Don't ever doubt that. Emailing me and admitting your fears took obscene strength, so I have no doubt you can work through your depression. Your depression could be linked to the sudden swing in your business, or a myriad of other factors in your life. What I strongly suggest you do is find a wonderful person you can talk to. Speaking with a therapist (or a pastor, priest, wise friend, etc) will help put things in perspective and you can begin to work on ways to bring yourself back into the light. Don't let the darkness hide your pain...it steals the things you love the most...things for which you should be most thankful. Stay Fabulous, j* |
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Trials + Tourniquets
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S he looked across the table from me. With scattered remains of tortilla chips and a bowl of guacamole sitting between us, she gave her unsolicited opinion. I'm not sure if I wanted to hear it at the time, but in retrospect, I needed to. It's like you placed a tourniquet on that part of your heart, so you can stop feeling pain, she said in between sips of iced tea, but you're not just preventing pain...you're preventing the fullest experience of joy, too.
I felt like I got punched in the gut. I didn't want to admit how awful I'd been feeling lately, but she saw right through me. I admitted to being caught up in comparing myself to others, battling entrepreneurial insecurity, and feeling like I sprinting without a destination. This coupled with the barrage of social media updates from friends who make delicious dinners every night, take showers before 5pm, and book weddings more often than I blink, I felt myself closing off from friends, twisting pressure on my tourniquet to stop the pain. It was then when I realized I was becoming so focused on my discomfort that I stopped focusing on my joy. When I shifted my perspective to finding every good thing in life, it soon began to pale everything else in comparison. Sure, I might have had to throw away dinner because I added too much salt, but walking to El Pollo Loco at sunset was equally as nice. Last week I snapped this photo on my phone of Polo and JD as we walked along Laguna Beach... |
| I'm much happier focusing on just how good life is...instead of focusing on everything I don't have or am not. With my toes buried in the sand, I soaked up inordinate amounts of joy and marked the moment as my happy place. Life is a balance between pain and joy, but I'm content focusing on the latter. |
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Friday Randomness : Love + Home Improvement
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Y esterday I met a girl at a home improvement center and we struck up a conversation. Yes, it was random (not to worry mom, I don't normally talk to strangers), but she was sweet and as we waited in line, she asked how I met JD. He was ambling behind us talking to himself about wood floors, shower heads, and shelves...leave him alone with his thoughts and he'll go HGTV in 2.5 seconds.
We met in high school, I said. She raised her eyebrows in surprise and I responded by telling her I still really like him. Like, I'd still write him a love letter in a spiral-bound note book and scribble his initials on my backpack. It was then when I realized she'd been watching us. When JD reached for the top shelf German shower head, I scoured the bargain bin...when he asked about cedar wood, I inquired about the merits of bamboo. Or matchsticks. WOOD IS WOOD, RIGHT? I explained to the girl standing next to me that my husband and I are as different as night and day, but somehow our love sits squarely in the afternoon. Even if it requires splurging on a German shower head or laying a matchstick floor. This leads me to another installment of Friday Randomness... |
| Summer in California... |
| Makes me wanna go to this church... |
| A couple days ago, we launched the new JasmineStarWorkshop.com website...many thanks to Promise Tangeman's Site House series, we were able to launch the new site in one day! |
| So THAT'S where Doc's been hiding all these years... |
| Happy Friday! |
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| © 2013 Jasmine Star Photography | Blog by infinet design |
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